Over tired toddlers

[gill7]

Hi to everyone,

this is the first time i have used this site.

My very energetic and bold 2 and half year old son is currently ruling my life due to naps. He usually has a nap snap back in middle of day for hour or hour and half about 11.30 to 1.00 pm ish which often means if we have to be out at this time, he wont sleep, even if i take buggy (as he only uses it to sleep, as he walks all the time). so if we go out to pub for lunch or visit friends around this time, he gets so out of control. throwing things, constantly up and down of my lap like a yoyo. Last sunday we were out all day, at lunchtime we went to pub for lunch. i was unable to talk to friends or ate my dinner as spent whole time running about after my son, who refused to sit down, kept running off and wouldnt come back when i called him, unless i pick him up kicking and screaming, constantly doing whatever he felt like. I now despair whenever i know i have to be out at his nap time. Please any suggestions or advice would be so gratefully appreciated.

Thanks
one very frustrated parent - gill x

This won't be much use but I let my life be rules by my toddler's nap, otherwise it is hell and in my experience not worth it.

The way I see it is that soon enough they won't need/want a nap and that is the time for us to do things that take all day or involve going out for lunch. For now, if we want to go to the pub at the weekend to eat, we go when dd2 wakes up - around 2pm. Works for us all, if not necessarily exactly when we would want to do it.

I often hear myself saying that I am slave to dd2's lunch time nap. But I am also grateful for it and am making the most of it - I know I will miss it terribly when she drops it.

Are you willing/able to make arrangements that take into account his need to be in bed at lunch time? I invite people to come to me if I'm asked out for lunch over naptime which works.

As I said at the start, not a lot of help but to let you know you're not alone in having your life ruled

Hi Gill

my only advice would be small children need their sleep - I don't think when I had just Ds1 (now 4.4 but still naps 3 out of 7 days)we would have ever arranged to be out all day with a pub lunch in the middle of the day as he just couldn't of coped without sleep. Can you limit what you do ? Give him a early nap and the go out? Make sure you finish lunch by 1pm?

My Ds2 who is 2.4 is a different kettle of fish - and as long as there is stuff going on he will last all day - yesterday he had no nap and went to bed at 6.30pm.

It's all a phase......

I agree with the others, DS is hellish without a nap. I try to avoid being out over lunchtime or make sure it's somewhere that entails a car journey because he will nap in the carseat.

I haven't gone anywhere for the day that hasn't allowed for at least a catnap somewhere along the line. He's too little to be expected to cope without a proper rest in the day. Otherwise it's a recipe for hyperactivity and that's never fun.

Sorry, wish I had the answer!

I agree with TreeTrunks. My life is ruled to some extent by my toddler's nap. However she is nearly 2 now and I've found I can be a bit more flexible about the timing, so I can put her down earlier or later than normal if need be.

Also if we go somewhere in the car I time the journey for her nap time as she will ALWAYS sleep in the car if she's tired. That way she's in a good mood when we arrive at our destination

Hi there and welcome to mumsnet! hope you find it fun and interesting.

Have to say i agree with the others, i'd rather make other arrangements so that little one got their required rest and were in good humour for their waking time, than have him overtired and hyper without a nap. My ds, (now nearly 3) "dropped" his regular nap at 2 and a half, but will occasionally still sleep if we've had a really busy morning, lots of walking etc, and i let him cos i know its MUCH worse if he's overtired. Be ruled by the nap, (if he'll sleep in the car or buggy it can free you up a bit), it won't last forever and its much less stressful in the meantime.

Welcome to the madhouse.

I'm afraid my advice probably won't cheer you much, but we did pretty much live our lives around DD's nap times until she grew out of them, and now we have DS, 20 months, it's the same again. He goes down every day after his lunch at 12.30is an sleeps until 2 or 2.30.

It's a pain as day trips out are no go as he is also now too old to fall asleep in a buggy etc (life too interesting, distracting).

We might be more restricted, but life sure is a whole lot more pleasant with a happy, rested DS.

Point is, he NEEDS to sleep. Flip it around and consider whether you'd be this exasperated if you were wanting to take him with you out to dinner at a pub at 8.30pm and he was over tired and causing mischief. You wouldn't do it would you - because night time is night time and they have a legitimate right to be tired then and to have their need to sleep prioritised.

Well, I say you kind of need to treat the day time need to sleep with the same respect.

Hi Gill. DS has always needed a nap and still does. But my one piece of advice would be never to establish set nap times, or set bedtimes for that matter. That way you can get away with an hour or more either way without too much trouble. I find anyway.

But I'd agree that lunchtime's a difficult one. If I were you (and I've been there) I'd arrange a lateish lunch somewhere that's a reasonable car ride away and hope he sleeps in the car.

Hi all

Thankyou so much for all your advice. Yes I think I will change things now. It has been such a major relief to find this site and to find other moms that can give advice. Dont feel so despaired now as u did. and its true of course that it wont last forever.

It was really to fit in with others that we had been doing all days or going out at his name time but they will have to fit in around us now - as they have no small children lol.

Thanks all from a more hopeful Gill
xx

Glad it's helpful. It's hard being the only parents in a group - they just don't really get it.

If it's helpful, we always found that brunch on a sunday worked really well for a day time meal with friends.

Lot's of places do lovely brunches and it's a great lazy way for kids and adults to spend Sunday morning. The food is also much more exciting to kids (pancakes, sausages etc!).

It won't last forever. Don't make life hard for yourself. Everyone will be happier if you just work around it for now. In six months his routine will be different again.