How do you deal with a naughty 22 month old?

[notoverit]

DD has always been a handful but seems worse in the last few days. I think it is terrible twos...

Today she was in the bedroom messing around with the lamp turning it on and off. She is usually right under my feet so as she was quiet I sneaked off to see what she was upto. Then I scared her by saying 'hey what you upto' and she went crazy and threw herself on the floor and stared crying.

She has been doing this type of thing alot recently.

usually if she is bad I put her in the cot and leave her there for a very short timethen go back and tell her to say sorry and kiss and cuddle her.

This does not seem to be the most effective thing really but I cannot think of anything else to do.

She does understand what is right and wrong. Like sometimes she wont eat dinner so I give her a choice to eat her dinner or go to bed. And if she doesnt want it she will choose bed. Then stand in the cot screaming.

Then I will go in and say 'do you want to eat dinner now?' she will say yes, so I bring her back to her dinner ad she still wont eat it. So I play the game a few more times untill one of us gives up....

It is a crap way of dealing with her but I have no other ideas.

first pick your battles

22 mths is too young to do punishment moving away should be enough and there bedrooms should be nice place not place for punishment

iw as told not to do the punishment and sorrys until at least 2 half as they dont fully understand actions and consequences

also dinner time if she doesnt eat its best to ignore it than punish her for it dinner times will become a battle ground and she will get a complex about food

make sure meals are not too big this can be daunting dont keep telling her how to eat or what to eat my ds used fingers at this age occasionally a fork as long as eating thats fine

meals should be table spoon per portion for each yr of age so if small for age would be 3 tablespoons doesnt look much but perfectly acceptable portion size if bigger for age 6 tablespoons

give choice for dinner they wont always fancy what you put in front of them i couldnt eat anything plonked in front of me there no different

small portion more can be given if wanted it looks less scary

ignore and let her eat what and how she wants lots of praise

no punishment for not eating make meal times fun relax get her to help where possible putting her plate on table etc

tone of voice keep voice calm any hints of being cross she will become upset automatically my ds always did

keep her bedroom as happy place and find a safe room she can be moved to for short while to calm down and most of all the meal times need to be more relaxed for you both make sure not to much juice has been given before dinner no snacks after certain time and make sure she's not too tired at dinner time we had to move ds dinner from 5 to 4 as he wouldnt eat at 5 as too tired but ate everything at 4 but we dont interfere we leave him to eat how he wants and he does

it can be really stressful and your doing great if you need to calm then walk away for 5 mins and remind yourself she will eat if hungry and pick your battles

good luck

Don't do punishments or time out, please! Read How To Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk, and/or Unconditional Parenting.

What Flamingo said.

Good luck x

Thanks for advice, I dont really think punishment works at such a young age either. But all my family say things like 'you cant let her get away with that' and I just worry that dd will become spoilt if I dont do something.

I will go to the libary and try to get those books out so I have got a way to deal with dd that I feel comfortable with.

Thansk again, it is hard to know the right thing to do with little ones....

You're not 'letting her get away with it'. That would mean not telling her what she did was wrong, and that is not in her best interests. It's far more respectful to just tell her that something's not acceptable and to cuddle her while you're explaining that to her.

Children often do stuff to test their parents' love - like 'will you still love me even if I hit my brother?'. If you show them you do, often they stop. But by doing time out, or other similar punishments, you are basically telling them 'I don't love you when you're naughty' so they test it again, and again, and again. When they go 'ok, Mummy really does love me unconditionally', there is no reason for them to do things like that. Children aren't inherently horrible, but they can become that way, I believe, by bad management - the sort of management espoused by stupid, so called, experts like Supernanny!

I can recommend Your Child, Your Way by Tanya Byron. Fantastic book.

I agree with everyone so far. She is a baby and far too young to understand a choice of dinner or bed. It doesn't mean that you have to give into her-just avoid getting into battles, especially about food as you never win. Just be consistent in removing her from things she shouldn't be doing (turning a lamp on and off is just fun to her)and distract with other things.
I think bubblagirl has excellent advice.
I haven't read Tanya Byron's book but she always seems very sensible and she has never said or written anything that I disagree with.