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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

We didn't really get the terrible twos with dd, she is almost three and tantrums are getting more intense and more frequent

16 replies

claireybee · 29/04/2009 17:36

That's normal right? I think so, but my 'friend' says I should see the GP because it means dd is "backwards"

Same 'friend' has said other things regarding dd in the past so I take what she says with a pinch of salt but just thought I'd garner MN opinion

OP posts:

lucysmum · 29/04/2009 17:41

All 3 of my DDs have been worse at age 3 than 2 and I don't consider them backwards. Did think I had got away with it with DD1 but oh no...

screamingabdab · 29/04/2009 17:42

BIG pinch of salt. IME 3 is a hard time for tantrums etc. DS2 was like this.

DS1 on the other hand, had tantrums from 18 months - 4 , so think yourself lucky !

Greensleeves · 29/04/2009 17:43

backward, what crap

Both of mine were stroppier at three than two.

samsonthecat · 29/04/2009 17:45

My DD1 was much stroppier at 3 than 2 and she is quite bright. She is now 4 and much better but can still strop for England if she wants. Its just how she is

sobanoodle · 29/04/2009 18:43

Your "friend's" advice is just wrong...

One of my sons was a really easy baby and young toddler, and an absolute nightmare between the ages of about 2.10 and 4 years.

He is a teenager now and academically very bright. Still has a stubborn streak though !

bubblagirl · 29/04/2009 18:50

my ds was easy at 2 and whe he understood the world better and wanted to be more independent he became more frustrated

someone said to me you now have a threenager lol

not backwards just a child needing to know there limits and having to except following them

just make sure you pick your battles if theres certain things she can do with your supervision and isnt dangerous then let her and praise all good behaviour

move her away if tantrums become too much and ask her to come see you when she has calmed and ask what was wrong she will soon learn not unusual at all and perfectly normal

Miggsie · 29/04/2009 18:51

Mine had no terrible twos, then got very intense and stubborn at about 3.

It is not cut and dried, but they all will go through a phase like this at some point as they have lots of information to process about the world and their feelings and their place in it. May not go through it till 4 even, but it happens.

This is not a regression!

giveusabreak · 29/04/2009 18:56

My DD was a poppet for most of the time as a 2 yo but a little monster oftenwhen she turned 3 (we had a lovely phase of her weeing on the carpet if she didn't get her way ). I really began to wonder if she had behavioural issues or whether I was just a crummy parent. It was neither (well, I don't think it was rubbish parenting ). She is almost 4 and a lot more reasonable. The protest wees stopped after about a month and any wobblies now are explained by illness/tiredness/too many sweets raisins. She started preschool, potty trained and had to cope with a sibling who started walking - none of those helped. I tried to keep really cool (and failed sometimes )

I think your friend is talking rubbish and is errr, quite bitchy tbh. GL

Barmymummy · 29/04/2009 20:21

My DD was an angel, an absolute angel at aged 2! I used to wonder what all the fuss was about with the terrible 2's because as far as I could see it was a piece of cake! Then literally on her 3rd birthday angel moved out and moody stroppy hitter scratcher moved in and I really didn't like her one little bit!! She was foul for about 9/10 months and then luckily the tarnished angel moved back in again.......hope she doesn't come back again as a teenager

Anyway! Perfectly normal and hang in there, she will come out the other side,xxxx

I won't comment on DS as he was foul from about 2 and still is (aged 3.10!!!!!) Am told we will see a new boy at aged 4......

chipkid · 29/04/2009 20:24

barmymummy have you not heard of the fucking awful fours? my ds improved no end at around 5 but it was a steady climb from 15 months to 5 in his objectionable behaviour.

DD angel until turned 3 she is now 4 and a half and is still a bloody diva! hoping the sweet little girl will return-but not holding my breath!

dinkystinky · 29/04/2009 20:46

DS1 was an angel at 2 - then bam, out of the blue as he just turned 3 last week, the terrible 3 tantrums/strops/negativity set in from nowhere. The sweet little angel is still in there somewhere and occasionally shines through but its hard to see him sometimes.

Barmymummy · 29/04/2009 21:01

PMSL at chipkid!! Don't tell me that!!! Am pinning my hopes on him transforming on his 4th birthday into a little darling!! bugger..........

ash83 · 29/04/2009 22:32

my eldest boy was brilliant until he turned three in march.i am finding his tantrums and behaviour really hard to deal with,esecially since i had another baby in november there are a few times over the last few weeks that he has had me in tears.i dont no what to do anyone got any advice

chipkid · 30/04/2009 10:08

ash just hold on to the fact that it will get better! it is really hard-I remember being in tears on my ds's 4th birthday he was sooo difficult. He is now 7 and absolutely fantastic-kind, funny and generally willing to please! Sorry Barmymummy-all I can say is that the transformation, when it comes,is well worth waiting for!

cheesesarnie · 30/04/2009 10:19

your 'friend' should be told to rude word off.

were currently having major trouble with our 3 year old.he was an angel .i started a thread the other day about how hard im finding him at the moment and it seems its quite common.

Original poster

claireybee · 30/04/2009 11:00

Thanks everyone

This woman does seem to have an issue with dd but I'm not sure what or why. She's said quite a few things that are completely the opposite to how other people see her. Not going to let it bother me though, her problem not mine.

TBH dd's tantrums really aren't that bad when I hear what other people have gone through! They don't last that long and I'm not having to really battle with her, she's just not as compliant as she used to be

I think a lot of it is tiredness/hunger too, she has always been a late riser but ds is a very early riser and I think that hearing him up and about makes her wake earlier than she would naturally.

She is going through a stage of refusing to feed herself but if we spoon it in she just holds it in her mouth and doesn't chew or swallow. I'm just putting the food on the table and taking it away if she doesn't eat it. She is offered fruit if she is hungry inbetween but she has started to refuse that saying she wants chocolate/biscuit/cake instead (she doesn't get it!)so I think she is just suffering low blood sugar or something and it's making her ratty.

But, on the plus side, a year after refusing to wear nappies she is finally toilet trained (day only).

OP posts:

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