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help im desperate. ds1 2.10 is still sleeping badly since having ds2 5 months ago

7 replies

mad4myboys · 28/04/2009 20:14

so, ds1 who is 3 in june has always been a great sleeper. sleeping through from 8 weeks, napped right on time, went to bed fine, slept from 7-7. My probs started last september when he refused to take a nap. He also started pre school that sep. Id take him out in the car at lunch time and he would fall asleep so the only days he wouldnt have a nap were when he was at preschool. ds2 was then born toward end of november and he was ok... last month or so have been having awful time getting him to sleep. He will go up fine, i bath ds2 first try to get him to sleep before then getting ds1 in bath to try to let him have just me. Then bedtime same routine, bath, storys, sleep. Its now hit a peak. Last night he was still up screaming and shouting for me. In the end i ignored him and eventually went to sleep but woke up at 1am screaming and couldnt see why. Today i made sure he napped in the car for an hour. He was in bed for 7pm, started messing about when i tried to read to him but i carried on. At first he was ok but then kept calling me so i ignored him. Then at 7.45pm i had to go up as didnt want him waking ds2. Gave him a drink and a cuddle and he cried when i left. Eventually fell asleep.

I dont know what to do. I spend as much time as i can with him. At the w/e i try to have just me and him time. Where am i going wrong?? I dont have anyone to help me and ds2 is quite poorley which doesnt help. What can i do?? He has a toy for sleep, night night etc...what else can i try??

OP posts:
mad4myboys · 28/04/2009 20:47

bump

OP posts:
dinkystinky · 28/04/2009 21:05

Looks like there are 2 issues here - DS1 not wanting to go down at bedtime (I have a 3 year old too and believe me he's the same - classic boundary testing age) and DS1 having disturbed nights.

Re the bed time hour - stay calm and consistent and explain its bed time and time to go to sleep now. If he has a comfort item (toy, blanket etc) let him have it in bed. If he's messing around, return to let him know it is bed time and time to sleep now - but dont engage with him in any other way. He will get the message and go to sleep.

Re the night waking: Is he having night terrors/nightmares/anxiety about anything or is it a separation anxiety type thing? It will probably help if you can figure out why he is acting out this way. 3 is a classic age for nightmares/imagination running out of control. If DS1 wakes up at nights crying for me I do go through as he is clearly scared by something - if he is just crying out I leave him for a bit to see if he settles or not. It is a phase and will pass. Good luck.

mad4myboys · 28/04/2009 21:13

so its normal to go from being great sleeper to nightmare making go to sleep?

Its so hard and i struggle leaving him too long screaming as he will wake ds2 up and there isnt anywhere else i can put him whilst ds1 is acting up.

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mad4myboys · 29/04/2009 09:39

bump

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RumourOfAHurricane · 29/04/2009 11:32

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mad4myboys · 29/04/2009 13:09

thanks for that. i stopped his naps about a month ago and this is when he got worse, night wakings etc so dhsaid he needs to have naps again to catch up....he wont get a nap today as at pre school.,.,

i completley understand why you do what you do, i know i DO have a dh but do 95% off it on my own and yes an easier life i completley agree with

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 29/04/2009 14:13

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