Advice please- DD wants to know more about sex

[stripeypineapple]

Ok, she's about to be 7 in June but is quite grown up. Her best friend is 8. I am quite honest and up front with her about most things in life and have been no different about sex. I've told her it's how we get babies. It's meant to be for grown ups who love each very much and are in relationships that are steady and loving. I've said the man puts his willy in the ladies minnie(what we call a vagina, there's a whole new post-different names we all come up with for that!) and he puts a seed in there and it grows into a baby.

She was on the computer the other day and asked " Mum, I'm not going to do it but if I were to type in to the computer, How do you have sex? Would it tell me?"

I was a bit dumbstruck and said "maybe but you should ask me if you want to know things like that"

What more can I tell her without telling her too much? She's only 6/7.

When do they start having sex education in school?

It sounds like you've already told her a lot, but she's curious - maybe you could get her a reference book which she could find out more from? I got ds "Lets talk about sex" - it's aimed about 8 or 9 up to about 12 - so, preparing them for puberty before they reach it. It covers quite a lot, and is very matter-of-fact about it. She's a bit younger than the recommended ages, but if you've already been open with her about sex, pregnancy, puberty etc then I don't think there's anything really shocking in it.

That way, she might feel she has a second source of information, and won't go looking online.

You might also look at what internet filtering you've got set, just in case she does go looking!

Different schools start sex ed at different times, but most would do it in year 6 (I'm a year 6 teacher when not on maternity leave). Some schools might teach body parts and do PSHE things on differences and how we change as we grow older, but the main event is taught in year 6.

I think what you've told her sounds good. Maybe if she asks again you could repeat what you've already said and then ask her if she has anymore questions. You might find there's something specific she wants to know that isn't something you would think would be important.

Definitely an age appropriate book. My parents got me one when I was little.

They have formal sex ed in Y6 (round here, anyway)

Babette Cole's "Mummy laid an egg" was v popular choice in lower primary - factual but also funny and non-embarrassing. And it does answer the question "How do people have sex". What you've told her sounds fine

I printed this out for my DD who is 6, she loves it.

I wonder if your DD was more interested in the computer's abilities though, rather than sex itself? Or maybe she has already come across something that has concerned her? Do you have a filter?

Could she be concerned that when she's a grown-up she won't know what to do? That's the kind of thing that I would worry about when I was little. I would try the route of asking specifically what she wants to know.

(caveat - my DDs are younger than yours and we're only at the "grows in Mummy's tummy" stage, so I don't have direct experience of explaining the lurid details )

Thanks for suggestions and advice.

Morningpaper, thats adorable. I'll show her that later.

I think I have some kind of filter set. I asked DP last night to check to make sure we porn proofed (he said as long as he could put a code word on it because he's still allowed, cheeky git!).

hi!
my daughters 6 going on 25!! shes started asking random questions about her body, i always try to be as truthful with her as i can, i am really worried about her starting middle school in sept and all the older kids worrying her with scary words!! i brought her a book from usbourne called 'whats happening to me' for girls, its fantastic we sit together and read it and then she can ask questions on anything that she doesnt understand. also i think in an earlier thread someone metioned the childrens book 'mommy laid an egg!!' my daughters got that and she thinks its great!! so funny, the middle pages are a bit shocking though!!xxx
hope that helps!xx

Bumping this up to get some advice from those of you who have been out all day.

stripeypineapple

"Mummy Laid an egg!" is good as a fun bedtime picture book, as Primula says.

I have also got a couple of other books which might interest you:

"Questions children ask" by Miriam Stoppard - this has sections on Sex, Birth, Death, Illness, Race, stranger- danger, divorce, bullying etc etc, with example of the sort of questions children ask, WHY they might be asking, and answers which are appropriate from different age ranges. I have found it really useful.

Also, there's a really old book I has as a child called "The Body Book", by Claire Rayner, which has nice friendly cartoon illustrations similar to the German one mentioned above. It covers the workings of the body in general, including a really nice section on old age and death.

I have found it surprisingly easy to talk to my son (8) about sex. He started asking some quite in-depth questions at around 6. The general advice seems to be: answer questions clearly and honestly, but try not to go too far beyond what the child is asking. Maybe check what she's heard at school as well. some of her classmates are probably coming out with all sorts of misinformation!

Forgot to mention, I found DS1 and his best friend trying to Google "bum stuff" a few months ago (boys are obsessed with bums). Fortunately they were on Googlemaps at the time, so only found Bumhole, Arizona or something .

I go hot and cold at the idea of what they could have accessed in a couple of clicks. Parental Controls went on right them and there!

Thanks all.

Showed her the funny German cartoon last, she liked it and laughed, wanted to look again.

Have just ordered "Mummy Laid an Egg" and "The Body Book".

screamingabdab bumstuff rofl