DD1 (8) having serious issues with food - only recent development, but unsure how to proceed - advice gratefully received.

[snigger]

DD1 is, basically, terrified to eat.

This has developed over the last ten days, due to two separate incidents - we went to dinner, she had fish, and a tiny bone lodged firmly in the side of her throat. It took twenty minutes of coughing, dry bread, and mild hysteria on DDs part to dislodge it and she became very distressed in the process.

We got past that, and she is a joyous and somewhat greedy eater usually, but then hard on the heels of the fishbone, she choked on a breadstick (she eats a bit fast and drinks less than I'd like her to while eating) - it was a 'nasty' choke, and panicked her and me both - although I think I did manage to keep it fairly calm and matter of fact while and after dealing with it, for her sake.

Now, she's scared to eat. Really, really scared to eat, she says her throat hurts, or that she feels like she has a 'bubble' in her throat.

This evening, she chewed yoghurt. I'm so upset for her, but trying not to make a big deal of it. I've talked to her about what she thinks might happen, and what she's scared of, to which she answered "I don't know" and "Dying".

What do I do?

Do I just keep putting food down in front of her, and make no comment as she shreds it down into millimetre small portions, will this go away in time?

Please help. I hate seeing her so tense and I don't want to make it worse.

She could well have scratched her throat and the 'bubble' is a ulcerated area?

I would use soft foods for a bit and then try widening the range of foods, being as you sound you are, sympathetic and calm.

I have had a lot of food issues with my ds1 but he has sn and we think that it may have started when he had enlarged tonsils and got a fear of swallowing. We had loads of input from professionals as it was a fairly long term thing but the main thrust of their advice was not to force anything. Why not try some softer foods (eg soup, spaghetti hoops, jelly) for a day or two and then slowly step up the texture (eg put soft raspberries in the jelly) without letting her know your cunning plan? You are absolutely right - don't show any panic or get stressed about it but if it continues, I would seek advice from the health visitor quite early before her new fears get too bedded in. HTH

Yes, we wondered whether there might be a scratch on her throat.

Thanks for the advice, both of you, I wasn't sure whether serving softer food would just reinforce the problem, but offering our normal food (although I have been tending towards mash and rice and softer consistencies) has led to the shredding and overchewing.

It's the not knowing whether to ignore the problem, or accomodate it.

I'll do the soft food, ninja raspberries approach

This happened to me -fish bone- and my throat was a mare for weeks (basically because you're openeing it up each time you eat).
Soft ffod I reacon and then try to sneak in a tiny bit of her fave hard stuff. You know, offer a crisp or a chip or hot buttered toast or whatever that you are eating. Works well when diverted by TV - you know how we all eat unthinkingly at the cinema.

Good luck - loving the ninja raspberries. Can't get that image out of my head

Well, baby-step progress today - she had porridge for breakfast, I sent her to school with soft pitta slices, hummus, and cucumber, yoghurt and strawberries - she ate the strawberries, but I called the school in the morning and the head kindly sat near her and 'oohed & aahed' her lunch, which seems to have encouraged her a bit.

Soft bread and lentil soup for dinner, and she ate unconsciously (Thanks Litchick!) while we were making up fairly bawdy rhymes about their day at school, so slowly does it seems to be the way forward - thank you again for the advice all.

Ninja raspberries are waiting in the wings, btw