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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Debate: arguments for and against baby slings?

52 replies

shellki · 26/04/2009 19:34

I am pregnant with DD2 due next week and have a 2.5 DD1. I have bought a baby sling and gone to lessons on how to tie it etc and am keen to use it once the baby arrives. My DD1 was/ is a terrible sleeper and quite a cranky baby, so the arguments I've heard about baby slings helping to make the child more tranquil are very appealing! I'm interested to know about your experiences - does a sling help to keep them calm and composed and mean they settle better when you do put them to bed, or does it make them dependent on being carried and soothed to sleep?

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muppetgirl · 26/04/2009 19:45

never used 1 for ds 1 but wish i had as he was a very screamy baby.

ds 2 loved his and he chilled whilst i walked the dogs, played with ds 1 and did jobs in the house. he was chilled anyway so don;t know if the sling had any real effect but it did help me get jobs done/play with ds 1.

it was great on days out, didn;t have to worry about prams at places like warwick castle so could do all the day out's fun rather than miss out as not accessible for prams. London was easy with a sling and ds 1 got to go on escalators rather than lifts all the time. underground was also easy. i could take both children into the loo if needs be and go to the loo still wearing ds 2. made life easier and stress free.

used it till he was 10 months -he was 1/2oz off 10lbs when born and on the 90 something cerntile so was a big chap but was till very comfortable.

if he was stressed we just put him in the sling.

will use again for ds 3 (when born) as then will use pushchair for ds 2 (17 months, not walking and can't use the lovely new sling we'd bought to carry his large self!) can play and be mobile just as i was with ds 1.

dh loved it (it was black) and was more than happy to wear it. will do so again.

loved it.

muppetgirl · 26/04/2009 19:46

I only stopped using it as I was prgt with ds 3. I would have carried on happily.

CherryChoc · 26/04/2009 19:56

I think slings are fab - but you have to have the right one for you. I loved my stretchy wrap until DS got too heavy for it and haven't found anything else I love yet

I don't think you can "make" a baby dependent on you. They are anyway! I am of the opinion that you can't spoil a baby. A toddler/older child, yes, maybe - but a baby is so dependent on you I just don't see how it is possible.

Muppetgirl there are slings you can use while pg I think if you so wished! Have you seen www.thebabywearer.com?

BeehiveBaby · 26/04/2009 20:00

I cannot think of a con particularly with your second child. DD2 lived in a wrap sling. I have had two winter babies though....very hot weather might be challenging perhaps? Don't know really, little babies are probably better naked in a sling if hot.

I had no expectation that mine would sleep 'through' or independently though and was pleased when they did both some time in their second year.

nickytwotimes · 26/04/2009 20:02

I loved the sling for ds.
The only problem was that my back is completley fucked messed up and even my fab physio couldn't find one to work paast a few months for me. Also, it was roasting in the summer!

CMOTdibbler · 26/04/2009 20:05

I can't think of a con either. DS was born at the beginning of a very hot summer, and he was fine in the ring sling all through that.

I still carry DS as a 2.11 yr old, 19kg (ish, I only plonk him on the scales occasionally), and he is the most confident and outgoing child imaginable.

The HV we had when he was a baby said that the better attached babies were, the more confident and settled they were, and that he was a great example of this.

sazlocks · 26/04/2009 20:05

I loved my sling - used it til DS was about 1. Was great when he was a baby as I used to wear him round the house if he was a little fractious and all the time in town rather than the pram. I had a wrap around one which was great - found it better than the sit up one which we were given - more support on the back.

MrsMattie · 26/04/2009 20:08

Bought a Baby Bjorn when DS was born and bloody hated it. Used it once. Was generally sniffy about slings.

When DD was born I decided I really did need one for short trips out and about with her and boisterous DS who needed hand-holding. Got a Moby Wrap Sling. Absolutely loved it for about the first 2 months. So handy once I got the hang of the different ways to wrap it, and was good for my sleepy, cuddly baby who basically wanted to be back in the womb . At around 10 weeks she got too heavy for it, and I decided to ditch slinging altogether, and reverted back to buggy. But I have nothing but good things to say about the wrap sling for the first few months.

Original poster

shellki · 26/04/2009 20:17

Will def give it a go, it sounds like a good plan especially running around after a toddler... but am already getting warnings from friends and mil types about getting them used to contact. Seems strange that so many people all over the world do it?!

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SamJamsmum · 26/04/2009 20:22

Absolutely my best best best baby purchase for baby number 2.
REALLY helped with those fussy evenings when older child needs dinner cooked/ book read etc. I used to give him dinner, a bath and put him to bed all with baby peacefully lying/ napping in sling. Absolute Godsend.

just read the last post - 'warnings' about a baby getting used to feeling secure and content????? Ummm, OK. I guess everyone prioritises different things. My daughter who was worn constantly for the first 6 months of her life is now 16 months and incredibly independent. MUCH more so than her brother who was never worn. I assume the people giving warnings place a high emphasis on a baby's 'independence' as our culture often does.

jkklpu · 26/04/2009 20:24

Agree with those who said a sling is particularly good with no2 as you can still keep a single buggy for no1 and push easily, at least while no2 is still wee. When it's more practical to put no2 in a buggy, your no1 may be old enough to be able to do with just a buggy board which will mean you don't need to fork out for a double buggy.

I had 2 x winter babies as well and agree that slings for all day trips in the summer might be demanding for both of you. But they're great most of the time and dps get a lot out of them as well having lovely contact when they're small.

fruitymum · 26/04/2009 20:26

I had a baby bjorn active for DD and loved it. I too would like to try a sling for next one. What kind have you all been using? Sorry if this is a bit of a hi jack.

PinkyMinxy · 26/04/2009 20:27

i love slings. makes me content as well as the baby! DD1, age 2.5 likes a carry in a sling when she is tired- it's much easier than just carrying a toddler!

muppetgirl · 26/04/2009 20:27

CherryChoc - def can't use a sling with ds 2, he's the size of a 2 year old and I am 29 weeks prgt and WAY bigger than the lady on the website!! (She's tiny at 8.5 months!!) Also getting labour type contractions and can't even lift him most of the time. Back is also f*cked. Though will be back wearing a sling when this lo is born!

The only downside was that ds 2 did get hot but you can dress accordingly...

Loved it on the train into Manchester when he was 2 months and just wore a pregnancy cardi that was adjustable so didn't need, or miss, a coat.

muppetgirl · 26/04/2009 20:33

I would also say re the 'warnings' with ds 1 I was routine obsessed and he was a screamy uptight baby. With ds 2 we co-slept and we had him in a sling for a lot of the time and it was fab. I got far more sleep than I/we ever did with ds 1 so we were all chilled. My priorites were to do the best to avoid a repeat of severe PND as possible and I truly believed this helped. It helped me cope with 2 whilst keeping ds 2 very happy.

I would listen to what people have to say but make up your own mind. My ds 2 is fiercely independent but then ds 1 is so can't say for sure this was/wasn't a consequnece of the sling.

I think it's about the time spent in the sling that people worry about but we did what was best for us and it worked so we'll do it again.

SamJamsmum · 26/04/2009 20:57

I started out with a fleece peanut shell (over Winter) and moved to a Maya lightly padded ring sling.

BeehiveBaby · 26/04/2009 21:03

Forgot to say that keeping your baby close is great for establishing BFing too, baby can be naked and you can be topless with a cardie around the house. Perfect for the hormones and feeding cues.

I do find attatchment reasons as 'cons' upsetting. My mum had DD1 in a ringsling in John Lewis once and a lady said that her midwive told her never to carry her baby like that as she would get used to the heartbeat . M mum tried to jolly things along by saying that didn't matter because as grandparents they could hand them back. The lady wasn't the grandmother though ...

TheProvincialLady · 26/04/2009 21:07

Cons: Irritating people gawping at you saying "Have you seen that?!" and "Why do they wear them in them things?" (Only happened to me for the first time last week but it was ALL DAY so the freaks must have been out). I used a sling for DS2 until he was 2 and now I am using one for DS2 4 months. Would not be without one or five)

dinkystinky · 26/04/2009 21:09

Slings are lovely - used a baby bjorn with DS1 (who had traumatic delivery and was v unhappy little chappy for the first few weeks - walks in the carrier were the only thing that calmed him down; he always preferred being close to me to being in his expensive pram) and invested in a close sling for DS2 incase he was a velcro baby like DS1. As it turns out DS2 is a much more chilled baby - though dont know if its because he's in the sling more or is just generally more chilled. He loves being carried about and will happily nap on me for his sleeps for an hour or so or just be awake looking around. On those days when he works himself into an overtired frenzy and wont sleep in his cot, he's asleep within minutes of going in the sling. I agree that it would probably be non-ideal in really hot months but at present its great - and I love that DS1 (who is 3) can go in the buggy or his push along trike while DS2 goes in the sling and the 3 of us can easily go out together.

MoominMymbleandMy · 26/04/2009 21:15

Cons: They are so gorgeous it is hard to stick at one.

Pros: Fantastic for getting out and about, for getting things done in the house, for soothing a grizzly, or colicky baby, for rearing a confident, happy, little person.

fruitymum, you might like to post on "The sling cupboard" thread in Products. There are heaps of slings soooo much better than a Baby Bjorn. I used to use one too.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 26/04/2009 21:18

Have been using a lovely stretchy wrap with DD (second child) and have had all the comments about 'how does she sleep at night?', 'don't they get too used to it' etc . I just do my vague smile and nod. DD is only 4 months so we shall see if she is a terrible sleeper like her brother (who I only occasionally used a Baby Bjorn with). One thing's for sure, I'm more relaxed this time round with regards to holding and sleeping with my baby - which has to be a good thing.

DD spent the first 3 months of her life sleeping through DS's busy toddler social life in the sling - invaluable!

Original poster

shellki · 26/04/2009 21:45

Am using a German sling that you can tie in different ways, front, back, side etc. There are loads of resources on the web and demonstrations on how to do it, and all say that these cloth slings are the best for supporting the baby's back etc. I bought a light fabric as I was worried about the summer months, especially since I live in SW France and it gets quite hot, though you wouldn't know it at the moment given site weather here!

OP posts:

iamaLeafontheWind · 26/04/2009 22:25

Cons: once you have one you want more. Between slings & backpacks me & DH are up to 10, but still only getting close to the cost of the buggy that MIL bought for us & DD hates. Big nod for the Ergo baby - simple & less hippyish.

Pros: all of the above.

JackBauer · 26/04/2009 22:34

I hate all this 'rid for your own back' thing with regards to attachment. I carried both DD's, DD1 from about 4 months and DD2 from about 4 hours (seriously, I had a ring sling in my labour bag so I could go and get my breakfast on teh ward)

DD1 is a clingy girl, still has to be cuddled for naps in teh day. DD2 has never gone been cuddled to sleep, she drops off in the whichcever carrier I have her in but she is just as happy in ehr cot, inf act this evening I put them both to bed at half7 and she weas still awake happily playing with her toys an hour later.

seeker · 26/04/2009 22:38

Why would you NOT want a baby to be dependant and used to contact? Isn't that what babies do?

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