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3.5 yo dd terrified of anything that flies

6 replies

topsyturveymum · 24/04/2009 16:21

The onset of the warm weather this week should be a joy - but for me and dd it is turning into a nightmare! Every time we have ventured out this week and encountered the inevitable flies and bees she has been pretty hysterical. I have tried explaining how harmless they are etc and that they can't hurt her etc, but it just dosn't seem to be getting through. I've been filling a little pot with choc stars and leaving it in the kitchen and telling her that the flies are buzzing round her to tell them they've left her a choc in her pot and making a big fuss of finding the pot when we get home and showing her the chocs - but this isn't really working either. I've promised her a new Barbie if she can try to be brave, but she is still going off on one when she sees a fly and I'm really getting fed=up with it.

What can I do? I'm ashamed to say that I've begun to get a bit cross and after an aborted trip to feed the ducks this afternoon, have called her a 'stupid, silly girl' and was really quite unsympathetic. I really can't be bothered with her at the moment. Sounds so harsh, but i was like this when I was a kid and so I don't want her to be the same way as it made my life so hard to be scared and frightened of silly things. She is so demanding a lot of the time and I just feel like, 'here we go again, another silly side of her character to try and iron out' - I'm just so fed up! We are going abroad in a few months for the first time with her and I am dreading it as this fear is going to spoil the holiday - one sight of a cockroach and i think she'll have a coronory!

Sorry, this sounds like I'm more sorry for me than for her - it's a twofold problem - she is scared and it's getting me down as I don't seem to be able to help her and can't see light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
topsyturveymum · 24/04/2009 18:18

Bump - can anyone offer any advice? Am a regular but have namechanged following an earlier v embarassing post. Hope someone can help. Thanks

OP posts:
fizzyanddizzy · 24/04/2009 19:08

No advice I'm afraid but sharing with you that both my boys 2.7 and 5.7) have fits of the vapours EVERY time any insect comes within a 5 mile radius of them. Have taken to ignoring them!

mumof3tobe · 27/04/2009 03:50

Im going through the same with my DD who is 3.4 yrs. We are now living in Canada so have a lot more bugs about. As the weather is getting better here ive been trying to eat lunch outside with my DD. She will now try to feed the ants and will hold worms (her brother loves worms and hes making a worm farm). As soon as she saw her first ant she clung to me so I just pushed her away a bit and let her look at it and told her that it wont bite her as its mouth is too little and they are just after her food. Another day a fly was in the car(not sure what kind but not a blue bottle) and she didnt want to go in, so I just set her in and told her that its not going to do anything and drove off. At the end of the journey she said your right mum it didnt hurt me. So im just taking each bug as it comes and hope that a bee or wasp doesnt sting her soon!!!

giraffesCantRunA10k · 27/04/2009 03:57

Sing a song about flies when one comes near - shoo fly for example. And make it in to a game. Or name the insects "oh look theres lucy the ant, no no lucy dont eat that stone" General nonsence about what they are up to - as silly as possible - silly things arent as scary.

A book out the library on insects? (check it doesnt have killers tarantulas in it first though )

milkysallgone · 27/04/2009 10:20

You have my sympathies topsy - I can totally understand what you're feeling; especially the frustration on your part.

I am going through this with my 4yr old dd big time at the moment. She really freaks out about any sort of bugs in the garden etc, which has also coincided with her developing a load of other fears such as pullig clothes over her head (don't ask), being left in the car for a nano-second after I've got out, the list goes on...

I made the stupid mistake of talking about mosquitoes in front of her the other day - doh!! Cue tears and hysteria at bedtime.

It is really hard not to get angry over it sometimes isn't it? But as I'm sure you're aware, this is the worst possible thing we can do. Aknowledging her fear is important and letting her verbalise what she's feeling, but I've found what is working more for us is just getting outside more and exposing her to it all (this often means me going into the garden with her).

Each time they have a little triumph by being around flies etc, this can only serve to diminish the fear surely?

mumof3tobe · 28/04/2009 02:33

Another thing I found out today that worked was if you find anything that crawls, put it in a tub or jar and let DC look at it without touching it. That way if they do want to touch it it's up to them! DD is now not scared of spiders or some sort of pool bug that swims as I put them in a tub and just let her look at it. She put the spider out to play with it's family and the pool bug with DS worm farm. Just take each one as it comes along. We have a lot of mosquito's here so i'm going to give DD and DS one each when there are a lot around and they can swat them instead of running away from them.

As milkysallgone said just get out into the garden and see what is there. With time she will get less and less scared.

Even talking about what the bugs actually eat and do might help, so she knows it's not going to hurt her might help.

By the end of the Summer i'm sure they will be digging in the dirt and bringing them all inside!! lol

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