my 6 year old punches her self and screams self abuse at her self .help::::::::

[wornoutbyarguing]

help any advice
my 6 year old has recently started having self hate moments and is saying she is ugly and horrible ,its really upsetting us we are shocked ,she is the cutest lovliest little girl who everybody adores,she has a great friends network, her teacvher says she is great at school,we give her loads of love and cuddles so we dont know what to do
the other day she banged her ear on an open draw and was so upset statrted punching her self really hard in the face it frightened the life out of me,
she has a 7 year old sister who has always been a big drama queen so she has always been the easy onein comparison and 18 year old brother who doent live at home anymore as he lives with his girlfriend but loves him to bits,
any advice would be so appreciated as i feel like a really crap mum right now

I don't know if my experience will be of any help to you wornout but we have gone through and occasionally still do go through similar phases with DS, nearly 8.
He is really hard on himself if he gets a spelling wrong, lays the cutlery the wrong way round, forgets to do something he has been asked to do. He hits himself on the side of the head, very hard, punches his chest etc. He only does it at home really, very very occasionally at school apparently but not enough for the teacher to have ever noticed it. It was only when we told her that the assistant said she had seen him do it once.
We too give lots of love, cuddles, praise where due etc.
If I remember correctly this started when DS was about 6 and a half so perhaps it is something to do with the stage they are at in life although that doesn't help does it? We tried ignoring DS when he hit himself but now tend to go to him, find something in what he has done that is good (ie,he might have got one spelling wrong but he got 9 right) and give him praise for that and try to get him to give himself a High 5 or a pat on the shoulder for the 9 correct spellings rather than a punch for the 1 that was wrong.

Sorry, not much help really am i but perhaps it is comforting in some way to know that your DD is not the only one going through this phase. And I hold on to the thought of it only being a phase. DS is a sensitive little soul and it's not his first phase and I doubt it will be his last.

And remember Wornout, if you were a crap mum you would be telling your mates about your DD over coffee and having a laugh at her expense but you're not! You are on here, trying to understand why she is doing it and to help her through it. In my book, that makes you a great mum

That must be very upsetting for you to see, poor dd

How is she generally at talking about her feelings? Is she good at 'naming' them?