difference between telling tales and asking for help?

[kitbit]

ds is 4. He's had some problems with a couple of quite burly lads in his class who seem to have taken a huge liking to him - it's not bullying in a nasty or ill-intended way at all, but they smother him, chase after him and generally follow him around and insist he plays with them. He quite enjoys playing (although he's quite a bit smaller so generally comes off a bit bruised and tumbled) but sometimes I think they go a bit far and there's pushing, jumping on, bundling etc. All pretty innocently meant I think.

Anyway - ds was finding it all a bit much, he "wasn't allowed" to stop playing, so we talked about how to extract himself: by firmly walking away, by ignoring if he has to when they shout at him, by repeating that he's not wanting to play just now, and if necessary to shout STOP!!! or NO!!. But it wasn't working so I had a chat with his teacher to see if she could keep an eye out and gently intervene if necessary. All well and good except now ds often runs to her and says "X pushed me again" or "they won't let me stop playing" and I'm aware that there's a fine line between telling tales and needing/asking for help.

How do you show a 4 year old the difference?
Anyway, what is the difference in this case??!

(bit long, sorry! thanks if you've got this far...)

The way I see it, you ask for help because you need help whereas telling tales is reporting what someone else did with the primary purpose of getting them into trouble (most young children love seeing someone else told off).

Quite difficult to explain to a young child. In your situation I'd be quite tempted to leave it to the teachers to sort out which is which and act accordingly.

Thanks wb, I think you're right - I might try and see if the right opportunity comes up to start explaining the difference. There doesn't seem to be a problem per se, I just didn't want him to end up going down the tale telling route!

thanks