2.7yo ds is driving me insane with his negativity and moaning

[cruisemum1]

Is this normal. he is generally a happy toddler (I assume) but his constant whinging that this isn't right, that isn't right, the lolly is the wrong colour, the socks are wonky, blah blah blah on and on is driving me up the wall to the point where I want to scream at him to eff off!!!!! (I haven't done so far . It is soooooo trying. I try to avert these instances by second guessing his reactions but often to no avail. WHAT CAN I DO???????

oh bum! no takers - i can only hope you are all on the school run - as I should be now - gotta dash

My DD1 is 2.7yo too and whilst generally being a very easy going and happy little girl - she does a lot of what you describe!

I think it is pretty normal.

She is harder going when she is tired which often coincides with DP coming home from work if she has not had a nap.

I try to deal with it by asking her what the problem is, giving a choice of two things (either of which is fine by me), distracting, empathising and choosing which battles are important enough to pick!

Some 'favourites'

Bed sheet is not perfectly flat.
Juice bottle is the wrong size.
Bread if cut into the wrong shapes (must be triangles not squares - this week!)
Socks have pattern on the outside that she wants but does not want the 'bits' on the inside - but does not want to wear plain socks.
Trousers not soft enough.

And she has a fascination with my hair!

I just figure this, like everything else, will pass.

what a refreshing post! I was beginning to think my ds has ocd!!! ditto with teh shape of sandwiches and bread . grrrrr gets on my wick no end! We had a major meltdown recently because his blanket in his buggy wasn't touching his nose. Drove me and him crazy! Today he has been particularly awful. Ranging from laughing like a drain while playing to being the most difficult of toddlers. "It is just a phase, it is just a phase"

Yes. Yes. Yes. All this is very familiar. Ds is 2.8. Had to laugh about the socks thing. Literally 10 minutes ago he was sitting on the sofa next to me and started playing with his feet then burst into tears. After a mini meltdown I finally got from him "Mummy take the pattern off my socks! I don't want it!"

And on the way back from one toddler group today he said "I don't want to go to Microsports (sporty group that he loves) tomorrow."
"OK we won't go."
"I WANT to go."
"OK we'll go."
"I don't want to go."
"OK we won't go."
etc. etc. Out of masochistic curiosity I decided to see how long he could keep it up and eventually we got to about 15 repetitions before he started giggling.

So that is my new tactic. Out-contrary him.

DD1 was exactly like this and I thought I would kill her. So, instead I wrote down a list of strategies to deal with my anger and that helped. Then she grew out of it (a bit!) and it stopped being a problem. DD2 is less bad but has recently started doing the same at almost exactly the same age so it must be some sort of developmental thing. I just ignore DD2 tbh and get on with whatever we are doing. Harsh but true.

JMN - lol out your out-contrarying tactic! If nothing else it kept you amused for five mins. I think the soul destroying bit of it is when you ahve gone to great lengths to do/plan something fab and then they throw it back in your face by either bursting into tears of getting cross about it. e.g ds2 wanted a new bed as he was out of nappies so we bought one, constructed it built it up to be a fantastic 'big boy' event and he screamed and said he didn't want that bed, he wanted a green one!!!! . It just made you feel like saying 'well, eff it then, go in your cot!' I am hoping it is just a phase and not setting the tone for his childhood. Don;t remember dd being this bad - though she was a whiner.
REIKIZEN - your strategy is probably v effective. I will try to rise above it!

Another one we have a lot of is 'Why?'

I try to answer the question but sometimes am not sure of what she is saying 'why?' to. I sometimes reply 'why do you think?' but find that a good one is:

DD1: Why, Mummy? tell me why?
Me: Why not?
DD1: Why YES mummy!

Also, didn't want to eat the baked beans as they were 'too beany'.

Does often seem sweet. Tells Granny Murray off on Me Too - "I am NOT Honey Pie, I am DD1!"

2.7 year old CHILD is 'negative' and 'moaning'?! Try to THINK a little, your son is not even 3 years old and you are calling him 'negative'??!!!!!
From your post, it's rather obvious that you are very tense and not enjoying his company, evidently he picks up on this as kids do and is trying to get your attention by contradicting your suggestions.... not realising that his behaviour is one of the causes for you to be so cross with him.