3 year old hitting other children at nursery-any advice?

[Nunu500]

I have noticed my soon to be three year son's behavior change over the last few weeks. I am not sure if this is a testosterone surge of sorts but am not sure how to handle it.

He generally is extremely well behaved when at his child minder or nursery but at home can be very stubborn and a little mischievous. When he does not get his way he fights and torments his older brother aged 6 and often bosses him about. The older brother is very gentle and gets upset by this.

Most recently however he seems to be lashing out at us all with his nunu (comfort blanket) when he gets told off or does something naughty. The naughty stair does not work with him and if I take his nunu away he screams and cries tremendously.

Over the weekend we went to the beach and he through a rock at his cousin which split his lip. Then when we got home I called him in from outside and he through a stone through the window. Today I picked him up from nursery and was told that he was smacking other children. He is very sorry when we scold him and gets upset.

I know he can be feisty at times but we figured this is just him gaining his independence. The nursery and his childminder are forever telling me what an obedient and sweet child he is and they love having him around. I am perplexed by this behavior as we did not experience this with his older brother.

Any tips on how to deal with this behavior and nip it in the bud? Thanks in advance.

My nephew is EXACTLY the same right now, and the same age too.

When you say you 'scold him' do you just mean smack? (not an attack on your parenting, i smack my dd, just to see what you mean by scold)

Also, does he get 'alone' time with you?

my nephew seems to be misunderstood. Children at that age do not realise the consequences of thier actions. they no they are doing wrong, and they know they may get told off, but they dont realise what 'throwing a rock' could actually do to someone, if you get what i mean.

I find it really helpful when my nephew is acting this way to take hi out the house on his own and spend time kicking a ball around out on the green. Or reading him a book, or taking him for a walk down the road to see the cars and talk to him as much as poss.

He gets smacked, but thats the last resort. the naughty step dont work either. He is scared of my DP (his uncle;blood relative)because he is stern with him. But lately he has started to shout back 'No' 'stop it' or 'dont do that'. When this happens I give him 'the look' and say " Dont tell uncle *** to stop it. Stop shouting and say sorry, then we will go outside and play" within seconds he says sorry (which he never used to do) and he 'touches' his uncle (you know the respect hand touch) and we all go outside to play.

It is a passing phase as i know mt little brother did the same thing. He is a lovely 12 yr old now

everybody needs toc ome together and use the same parenting skills as each other. If your family and the nusrery work out a plan of action as such then it should come to ahead much quicker.

Make sure if you tell him off, that your DH backs you up. Dont let the children in the family tell him what to do as YOU are the adults and only ADULTS do the telling off.

Have you tried treats? Such as if he doesnt smack anyone all day, nor does anything else you do not wish him to do, he gets a treat. Maybe just a kinder suprise or a trip to macdonalds at the end of the week.