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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Letting dc's out to play? When exactly?

9 replies

walkinthewoods · 20/04/2009 21:04

We have moved to a cul de sac with lots of kids in the street. DD is 5 and ds is 3. I have started letting dd out and given her strict instructions to go no further than then end of the road. Now obviously ds wants to go so this afternoon the pair of them have been hairing up and down the road on their bikes. They obviously love it and I hate to say no.

I remeber at age 4 going out with my db age 2 doing all sorts of things (and not going home for hours...twas in the 70's)

I am torn between letting them out and keeping them obsessivley in sight. Please tell me what's normal?

BTW the other kids are older (7 years +) and the parents are often out gardening or cleaning their cars.

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Neena28 · 20/04/2009 21:09

I am in this exact situation except ds is 8 and dd is 3. I do not think ds is responsible enough to look after dd plus there is always some idiot that nips down the road too fast even though is also a cul de sac. I have taken to only letting dd out when i am also out there to watch which is annoying ( and truthfully boring) but it saves me beating myself up if something goes wrong.

Insanity · 20/04/2009 21:29

I remember when mine were this age - its a hard choice to make and isnt made easier when the street is full of children playing in the sunshine.
I brought a bench and put it by my front window, I would then sit there,drinking tea, reading a magazine, whilst the children played happily in the street - soon I got to know a few of the other mums and we would meet out the front for a catch up too.
We move around lot and it is one way of getting to know the neighbours - I have even sat on my front door step to day drinking tea with my neighbour whilst my dd6 played on the field opposite.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 20/04/2009 21:32

Only you can judge - knowing your street, the other kids, the other adults around, traffic etc.

DS had his first excursion around the block today on his scooter. he's nearly 8. I would prefer it if he had more freedom.

Acinonyx · 21/04/2009 07:59

We have a pedestrian cul-de-sac which is prefect for kids and there is a group of 3 girls playing out there all the time (4-9). Dd (3.7) is desperate to play with them but needs me with her. I do have an old bench in the back garden - great idea to put it round the front.

I too remember just leaving the house for the day, even very young. We live very near to woods and fields - in my day we'd have been up there all the time.

Original poster

walkinthewoods · 21/04/2009 10:08

I feel quite sad for dc's these days as I remember happy times going ladybirding and climbing trees in the woods. I feel that I am denying my dc's the freedom they deserve, it's so difficult.

I feel really angry at the overprotective, stiffling environment caused by the media (just the media?). Apparently dc's these days are more likely to be knocked over as they haven't had as much expereince in crossing the road (judging speed of cars etc) can't remember where I read that.

Anyway DD is quite responsible and is very protective of her little brother but I still worry! I am really forcing myself to stop checking on her. I suppose as a parent you will always worry no matter how old they are.

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4andnotout · 21/04/2009 10:14

We live on the main road of our village so dd1 (7) and dd2 (4) are allowed to play in the front garden only and know not to stray over the boundry, our next door neighbour on the other hand has let her ds play on the pavement and in the road since he was about 2

norfolklass · 21/04/2009 12:30

Do you know I was wondering exactly the same thing this weekend...think it must be the lovely weather. We live in a tiny corner off a dead end road with 5 houses in the corner. Ive got a 4 year old ds and he desperately wants to play out the back with all the other children on bikes etc but unless I physically go and stand out there watching them I can't see them at all (high fences on new build houses!!) He isn't the youngest but he's the only one without a brother/sister to keep an eye on him so feel very anxious about letting him just be out there.

He's quite a sensible chap so I know he'd probably be ok...its just the what ifs that Id be thinking all the time! He's my baby and I don't want him going out on his own yet!!

Original poster

walkinthewoods · 21/04/2009 13:31

It's difficult isn't it? I am getting better tho' at not being so obsessive so I guess it's just getting used to doing it.

OP posts:

titchy · 21/04/2009 14:01

I think 3 is too young personally to be out there unsupervised. And 5 is too young to look out for a younger sibling. Maybe in two years both would be OK but until then I'd be out there watching. Dull I know..... That's why we lived on a main road where they couldn't play out till they were older and we moved!

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