Preschooler Possessiveness

[Gravitygirl]

MIL Strikes again and has wiped out all of my confidence in one swoop.

I have a (just turned ) 3 year old and a 17 month. My 3 year old is quite possessive and if my little one does something or gets/wants something, she does to. I am ( I think ) always fair between them, she is not allowed to get away with it and equally nor is he.
My daughter has a disability and my mil says that we let her get away with murder and that she is over possessive and that her youngest two ( same age gap) played wonerfully together for hours and hours all the time.

She has left me feeling like Im a complete failure and Im doing something wrong ( that I cant see)I said I was not worried, as I had thought it was normal behaviour at this age and between siblings, she stated that in no way its not.

So am I doing everything wrong?

bump for you

Oh silly old bat...how long is it since her children were so young? A million years?

Sounds VERY normal to me! I have a 3.5 year old and a 2 year old and, yup, whatever one has the other one NEEDS. Sharing, taking of turns and buying of everything of twos is the way forward...it makes me laugh/want to throw myself under a bus how one won't be vaguely interested in xyz toy until the other one has it.

Sound like your two are just 'normal' fo their age. Ignore you MIL, how unhelpful an unsupportive of you, grrr.

My mother swears blind that me and my brother got on really well as children. He was an utter sod to me!! (not saying this is like your kids, just an example of extreme maternal forgetfulness).

Possessiveness is really normal at this age. It's how you deal with it that's the issue. Sounds to me like you know what you are doing.

IGNORE

Thankyou for the reassurance, I thought I was going mad there for a bit. Im still pissed of I didnt stick up for them or myself when she said it.

Oh well I can rest assured now, thanks again.