Anyone else have/had a very passive baby - worried (bit long)

[MrsSnoops]

I have a DD who will be 5 months this week, I also have a DS who is 2.8.
I am worried about my DD as she just seems 'too' quiet for a baby.
She does not smile often and when she does it is only at me, she has never smiled at a stranger. She has giggled but quite rarely.
She is super chilled out, but I am worried that she is too passive. We took her swimming last week and there was literally no reaction, she didn't cry or look happy.
She has rolled from front to back and is now grasping things, so is reaching her mile stones. She does interact with me and maintains eye contact well.
It is getting me very down and I am worried. Others have noticed, I was told by a shop assistant that she was too quiet and kids should be more lively! My brother tried to play with her and she just looked at him blankly and he muttered 'I don't know why I bother' and ignored her from then on.
It really is very hard to get any kind of excitement or reaction from her and she rarely cries, but if you are quiet with her she will look at you and engage, but on a very quiet level.
I guess I am looking for some reassurance that she is not the only baby that doesn't spend her day grinning, but rather sitting quietly and watching the world rather than being a part of it!

DS was quite a passive, thoughtful little thing at this age. Someone said to me that it was a sign of an intelligent child, who watched the world with interest and absorbed everything.
He's nearly 13 months now and is very happy and friendly, so I wouldn't worry.

Had a similar experience between DS1 and DS2.

From the moment he was born DS1 was a bundle of nervous energy, cried for 30 mins afer the birth, was hungry all the time, never slept, could lift his head immediately and was looking around and reacting to everything.

In contrast DS2 was passive after the birth, content, slept and really seemed to take not much notice. Indeed, my wife was so worried after the birth of DS2 she called the midwife over and said she thought there was somehting wrong with him as he was so quiet and sleeping. The midwife said 'oh no thats just a happy contented baby'.

The pattern of reactive and nervous DS1 nd passive and ontent DS2 continued until just a few years ago.

Hate to say it, the fact that your older child is a DS and your youger child is a DD may also explain part of it. I know parents with the reverse of yur situation who had a DD first and were totally shocked at how active their new DS baby is in comparison. If your DD is developing normally then nothing to worry about but you could see child development specialist if you are really worried.

DS2 was a very very content baby - happy to let the world go on around him. This changed the moment he learnt to walk.

He is now very placid when he gets his own way but when he doesn't it's hell. I think you'll probably be back on here in a year asking for help with her tantrums!

My dd was very smilie with me and dh but took her ages to warm up to other people. As she's got older she has got loads better and at 5 is pretty social but not hugely out going.Maybe your dd is the same.

My friend's ds was just like this. He rarely cried, never really cood or squealed the way my ds did (but my ds was a screaming bag of nerves from the moment he was born!) He was just very quiet and sat where ever she put him and watched everything. I was very !

Her ds changed as soon as he could walk too. He's just as likely to throw a good tantrum as my ds now so I think it all evens out in the end.

We all have different personalities and tempramaents though. My ds has always had a short fuse and is a bit of a hot head! Just had a 10 minute screaming fit over me taking a tube of super glue off him . You might be lucky and just have a placid dd. Oh and my ds never ever smiled at a stranger til he was about 18 months old! In my opinion it's not uncommon. If she's making good eye contact etc then I don't think there's too much to worry about. Over the next few months she should be pointing and babbling and she'll start to show you what she's interested in.

I think all babies are very different and personalities shine through from a very young age. You probably have what your describe as a 'chilled' baby.

But you sound so concerned to me and if you really need your mind putting at rest, I would pop her to the HV or GP and tell them your concerns. They will be able to reassure you she's fine. Good Luck

Thank you all for your replies.
It probably doesn't help that DS is a very outgoing and appealing little boy and as a baby he always got loads of attention as he was so curious.
Mind you I have just spent the morning with him in A and E as he stuck a raisin up his nose this morning, so maybe a child who is less curious would be a good thing!
I have a lovely HV who thinks DD is fine, but has made a referral to a paediatrician just to put my mind at rest.
In the meantime I will try and relax and just enjoy what she does do rather than thinking about what she doesn't!

I agree with the other posters - you just have a chilled DD.

My DD was exactly the same - she smiled late and rarely giggled but was just extremely content just to watch.

She is 19 months now, never crawled and has just started walking. She is now quite vocal when she is comfortable in her surroundings (i.e. at home, GrandP's and nursery) but if we visit friends, she is still just happy to sit back and watch the commotion!

I'd say that DD seems a whole lot more aware of other people and their feelings (empathic, really) than other children her age and I suppose this could be because she watches and learns (of course, I am terribly biased )!

However, she has started stamping her feet when things don't go her way! So, my advice would be to enjoy the peace while it lasts...

I had exactly the same thing with my DD. Very very placid, hardly ever cried, went to anybody, didn't eat much, slept ALL THE TIME and not particularly smilie. I was so worried that I got a referral to the childrens centre and had her checked out.

The paed was ever so nice and said to me "You have a very healthy and placid little baby. You are a very lucky mummy, now go and enjoy her".

AS another poster posted, I went on to have a DS (3 yes old) and OMG I have no idea what has hit me. Am constantly posting things about him as its just soooo weird having a kid who is sooo unlike DD. I really really wish I had enjoyed her properly instead of worrying.

She is 6 now, we never had the terrible 2's nor did she ever do the tantrum thing BUT SHE WAS A RIGHT LITTLE MARE AT 3 YRS OLD!!!!!

Please try not to worry and bask in the glory of having a very portable and chilled little girl,xxx