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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

12mth old started screaming when I leave the room at bedtime...

7 replies

LoveBeingAMummy · 19/04/2009 13:44

My year old DD has always been good at going down at night and been happy to suck her thumb until she goes to sleep, but over the last week or so no matter how tired she is, as soon as I leave the room she jumps up and starts screaming to the point of screaching. Sometimes she'll settle herself after a couple of mins and toher times it gets really bad and I ahve to go in. When I go in she seems happy to lay down again but i cannot leave as she starts again. If I pick her up she holds on so tightly. On one occassion it been a really long time till she's gone off and thats only happened if I held her and she noodded of (although she had her jabs that day)

Any advice welcome. BTW during the day she has no problems going down for her naps at all it just at night.

thanks x

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zuzkah · 19/04/2009 20:53

I guess it might be teething? Developmental growth? Or she's trying you? My ds is 17 months old and was doing the same around 10-11months. He would peacefully fall asleep while I was in the room with him but would scream standing up when i left. Nothing else worked so we had to let him cry it out. The first day was so terrible. He cried for 20 min then fell asleep nearly standing up with his face on the bars of his cot. Then it got quickly better as he got the idea.

Recently, he started waking up during the night again. We thought he must be unwell or something and went straight to him. He was ok but after a couple of nights we had to let him cry again. It feels bad but that's the only way which worked for us. He's slept well since....fingers crossed!

Good luck with your darling. Hopefully she'll get back to normal soon.

TreeTrunkThighs · 19/04/2009 21:14

DD2 went through this around that age and still does it every now and then now (18 months). I have persevered with getting her to go to sleep without me in the room with her - I endured a long time of having to sit with DD1 while she tossed and turned, chatted and sang, laughed and played until she went to sleep...I really came to hate bedtime and decided early in with DD2 I'd do my utmost to avoid it happening again.

Now, and from about 12 months, if she screams when I leave, I leave and pull the door behind me and do something quick...hang towels or empty bath etc. Then I go back in, comfort her, lay her down, say goodnight and leave again. If she screams again, repeat until she gets it and goes to sleep. Have had to go back in a good few times on occasion. As she gets more tired I just put my head round the door and tell her to lie down and that I'm just outside.

Not distressing for either of us and seems to get her back on track quite quickly. I don't pick her up again once I've put her in the first time, otherwise I know she'd cling on tight too!

HTH

pispirispis · 19/04/2009 21:26

My 11 month old does this occasionally when she's teething or overtired, and 95% of the time she's dead easy to put to bed - I just give her a kiss and leave no prob. TBH I just lie on the floor and pretend to be asleep. She then stops screaming and stares at me, then lies down and relaxes. I stay for 10 mins or so until she's very settled with her dummy and teddy and then I leave VERY quietly. It soon passes, after a few days or so.

Katerina75 · 19/04/2009 21:32

It sounds like separation anxiety. My ds did this at 12 months old and I stayed with him until he calmed down and went to sleep.

We had one very bad night when I kept having to go to him, then it got better every night and after 3 nights he was fine again. The first few times I sat next to the cot and stroked his back, the next few I just stayed next to the cot, then further away, then by the door etc - it worked really well.

vesela · 19/04/2009 22:00

My DD went through this at about 10-11 months as well - it's totally normal separation anxiety & they're practically programmed to do it. I also lay down in her room (there was a spare bed in it) until she went to sleep. I did intend to do what Katerina75 did & keep sitting a bit further away, but temptation just to flake out on the bed was always too great

At about 14 months she started doing it again (after a week in hospital) so we brought her cot back into our room and that helped. She ended up staying for a while, but we could have moved her back sooner once she was over it.

Original poster

LoveBeingAMummy · 20/04/2009 07:03

thanks guys i did woner if it was separation anxiety, just a shock to the system after all these trouble free months

OP posts:

littleboyblue · 20/04/2009 07:35

My 20 month old is screaming when I leave the room. It started when he was teething and got a little cold so one of us stayed with him and now it is beyond a joke. I don't know whether to gradually move a bit away from the cot until we're outside which could take weeks, to do somesort of CC where I leave him for a few minutes before goin in to him, or whether just to carry on sitting with him for the rest of his life.......

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