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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Screaming ALL day. Help. Long.....

11 replies

SleepyCaz · 18/04/2009 10:21

My 11 week old DD screams blue murder all day. Only stopping if i hold her, sometimes not even then. This is impossible as i have DS, 3 years old, at home all day too, except Mon and Thurs, when he's at nursery. His behaviour is suffering due to the entire day, everything he does/asks to do, having a backdrop of screaming and crying He has started tantruming much more and cries or holds his hands over his ears.
Have taken DS to GP and HV and both say she is not unwell. Weight fine, etc, and that it's just colic/unsettledness.
She doesnt go down properly to sleep until about 10-11pm, sometimes midnight.When she does go down, she sleeps well, wakes at 4.30am for a bottle, then sleeps til around 7.30am, so in that respect, she's great. I just don't understand why she is so unhappy all day. She doesnt have a sleep/nap routine or a feeding schedule. I just have to keep offering her food/cuddles/winding/playing in rotation, constantly untill she wants one or the other, so i don't even really know often she feeds.
I'm so stressed. Have made an appt with my GP to see what he thinks for us both. I feel like i'm reaaly failing as i cant cope with the crying. Maybe i need medication. I hate the idea, but my children are suffering because i don't know what to do. I used to be a happy Mummy, but now im frazzled and on the edge all the time.

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Jelliebaby · 18/04/2009 11:32

I know exactly how your feeling. I too have an 11 week old DD who is the same. She is so unhappy all the time and spends much of the day crying.

I have a DD who is 4 and I feel I am neglecting her as i'm too busy trying to keep DD1 happy.

Have you spoken to your HV about DD1? I spoke to mine and she advised me to change her milk, use infacol, gripe water and we've even had gaviscon prescribed by the dr.

Nothing has made a huge difference but she does seem slighltly more settled. I've realised now that it will get better in time (when they are weaning)so just trying to get through next couple of weeks, although it's hard and look forward to the future.

meeshmum · 18/04/2009 18:22

I really feel for you as i too have an 11 week old who is constantly crying. We give him colief and gaviscon which doesnt seem to make much difference. Interestingly, he also sleeps really well at night (thank goodness!) I have a 2 1/2 year old and i also worry that the costant crying is stressing him out. Theres not much we can do apart from sit it out until they get more settled - i have been told thats around the 4 month mark generally. I have also been advised on another thread to maybe use a sling as he may just be a baby who wants constant contact/cuddles. You could try that? Sorry i havemt given good advice but i thought i would reply to your post to let you know you are not alone . Keep your chin up and hopefully soon we will have happier babies! x

nancy75 · 18/04/2009 18:29

my dd was like this and it was hell, in total desperation we took her to a cranial osteopath, i really didnt expext it to do anything but was at the end of my tether so willing to give anything a go - it was fantastic, we took her twice in all but the change in her was noticable straight away. i would recomend it to anyone.

CarGirl · 18/04/2009 18:34

my dd was like this and it was silent reflux and gaviscon did work but it took 3-4 days, I also found craniel osteopathy has been great for my other children when they were grumpy!

JimmyMcNulty · 18/04/2009 20:00

Does she have any symptoms like not liking being laid flat, lots of hiccups/choking noises, breaking off from feeding to cry, acidic-smelling breath? Just asking as the constant crying sounds like ds (nobody could believe how much he cried if they spent the day with us - at some points I couldn't remember what he looked like when he was awake and not crying). He had silent reflux. The gastroenterologist who sorted him out at 12 weeks told us that simply excessive crying AFTER 12 weeks (having ruled out other causes) is very likely to be caused by some kind of reflux problem and often the parents can't pin it down except to say the baby is miserable. Most babies are refluxy to some extent (ie possetting) and it's not normally an issue, but sometimes it is. Problem is symptoms can vary so much (ds never vomited as he was swallowing it straight back down) so it can be hard for GPs to guess at.

It is certainly true that some babies are just colicky, some very colicky, but I think I knew at some level that ds was more than that.

BeehiveBaby · 18/04/2009 20:05

I won't be the last to suggest a sling, especially one that holds baby upright, if you haven't tried it. No reason why baby can't be in one all day.

meeshmum · 18/04/2009 22:12

Hi JimmyMcNulty. The symptoms you describe are exactly the symptoms my 11 week old has plus he will only sleep on his front. He also does this horrible choking/gagging thing after feeds and i think he is going to be sick but isnt he just gets very red watery eyes. Did you get referred to the gastroenterologist by your GP? I also believe its not colic as i give him colief and thats great stuff for colic.
PS: Sorry to barge in on your post Sleepycaz!

JimmyMcNulty · 18/04/2009 22:56

Meeshmum, yes we asked our GP for a private referral as we were desperate for it to be resolved asap.

Parents wielding printouts of research from internet sites are probably dreaded by doctors but all the same I would go prepared with some facts in case you have a GP who hasn't heard of silent reflux. Some docs are well-informed about it but IME most are not - ours was v sceptical and needed some persuasion to refer ds. However when we got to the specialist he immediately diagnosed it and prescribed meds that made a huge difference literally overnight.

JimmyMcNulty · 18/04/2009 23:05

Forgot to say another symptom for ds was an awful lot of drooling. Yet another thing that on its own means nothing as all babies drool, but with ds it was so much that I thought that must be what he kept choking on.

meeshmum · 19/04/2009 20:33

Thanks JimmyMcNulty, He also has the drooling thing so i am going to go to the GP tomorrow. I will go armed with a list of his symptoms as i always get in there and my mind goes blank. My GP is a mother to two young children and is normally very good so i am hoping i wont have any problems with a referral. Thaanks for your help/advice. :0

monthlymayhem · 19/04/2009 23:52

Hello

My ds is now 13mo and a happy, gorgeous, if somewhat head strong, little boy. However, the first 5 months with him were absolutely horrific....screaming till he was purple every single day and I felt a complete and utter failure.

We tried everything imaginable - colic remedies (infacol, gripe water, colosinth crystals etc, etc), gaviscon, cranial osteopathy..and I'm afraid to say nothing really helped.

I really think he just eventually grew out of it, and if there was something underlying we certainly never found out what it was.

Anyway, I just wanted to say to hang in there as I know how utterly draining and upsetting dealing with a crying baby can be (especially when every one else seems to have happy, smiley babies) but it does get better

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