C&P from my thread in parenting
Example - today DS2 and his friend A came in, both crying, saying that Ds1 and his friends B,C,D, and E and Es brother had been punching them and trying to trip them up and wouldn't let them play football. Ds1 denied this point balnk, said it hadn't happened, that DS2 and A were lying.
Ds2 then went out again with A. Boy B then came over(I was upstairs in the bathroom watching at the window)and started saying to Ds2 "why did you say we hit" etc etc. DS2 () siad "shut up you knobhead" to which this boy replied " at least I'm not bald" (which was an odd statement to make since Ds2 has a full head of hair). DS2 replied" at least I'm not black" - the child in question isn't black but does have very dark skin tone. The boy then started calling Ds2 a F*g little S*T and a B*d. I went out and hauled Ds2 in and gave him a lecture on how he wasn't to say things like that, it wasn't nice, it was racist etc and told him to go out and apolgise. He did this, but the boy he said it to kept going on and on saying "I'm going to punch your F*g lights out", the other boys - apart from DS1 were giving DS2 the finger, 2 fingers, calling him a Racist C, and lots of other names. Ds1 stood by and let this happen.
When I aksed them what happened initially (WRT to the accusations of hitting) they both told me different stories.
I am at the end of my tether I really am. I am sick of the language the DSes use, the fighting and lying and answering back. it was never a problem until we moved. I have brought them both in, and gorunded them.
I don't know how to handle this or where I'm going wrong.