Why has my gentle gorgeous 8yo DD1 suddenly turned into a little tyrant to her little sister??

[drivinmecrazy]

My DD1 has, up until now, been very gentle and loving to her little sis (3) and despite normal sibling spats has been very good to her. Recently she has been talking to her like she is something she has found on the bottom of her shoe. DD1 will physically go for her if she gets in her way, or irritates her in any way. She will get DD2 to do her bidding if she wants something, even to the extent of treating her like a skivvy to fetch and carry for her. Is this normal behaviour or is there something else going on? I hate it because it is making me very protective to younger one, when we have previously been very close

id keep an eye on your dd1, is there any chance she's getting bullied at school?. my ds2 went the same way when he was getting picked on..... sorted it out and now he's fine with his siblings.

Think she may be having some issues at school. She is not into all the 'you're my best friend today but not tomorrow' business. She tries to stay friends with all her little class mates but is being asked to pick a best friend. DD1 can't understand why she has to pick a group versus another. She bottles alot of things up so it's really difficult to get her to talk. Such a difficult age, but aren't they all

Poor wee love. Does she go to brownies? or any kids club outside school? its great if they can have friends outside school too as they have another ste of freinds they can "escape" to if things are getting . Its so hard though, at times it was all i could do was bite my tongue dream about slaping the brat who was the bully's mother .A local karate club was the best thing for my ds2. Even though he was crapola at it he made some very good mates and it done wonders for his confidence!.

She does her dancing three times a week with a completely different social group. She is very confident in her self, but just doesn't want to get drawn into all the politics of the playground. It is so hard when you desperately want you kids to fit in, but not to conform for the sake of it.

if she won't talk, could you get her to draw a picture or role play with her dolls? Or have a word with the teacher? Ds is younger so I'm not sure what happens in Yr 3/4 but I know schools work on socially acceptable behaviour, how you treat others etc. these days. Maybe teacher could get them to talk about it in circle time (if they have it at your daughter's stage)?

My DD1, also 8, is going through a similar phase of 'pulling away' from her previously beloved siblings. I have put it down to a natural point where friends start to take on a greater role in her life. She has always been completely loving towards her younger siblings. Now, she and DD2 (6) fight about anything and everything, she calls DS "the most annoying 4 year old ever" (he's not) and even her youngest sister (2) is not immune. I am hoping that it will reach a balance in the end where everyone can be an important part of her life. At the moment I am just trying to keep the peace and remind her that everyone has the right to be treated respectfully.