Ds won't talk to other kids

[eastereggfeaster]

Ds says he doesn't like talking to other children his age and younger (he's coming up to 4) and prefers adults or older kids.

It's quite awkward sometimes when a little friend comes round. He gets excited about them coming over and then only really talks to me and the other mums.

I know this isn't unusual and his nursery have no concerns about his development but does anyone have any tips. I've tried facilitating chats myself and sometimes it works but sometimes he just says I'm only talking to the grown ups.

Don't want to make a big deal out of it with him but gentle encouragement would maybe help.

I know a few little ones like this. Sometimes, it's just the way they are .... does he appear more mature then his peers? I know it sounds a bit of a cliche, but some kids are slightly bored my others of a similar age if they are brighter etc. If his school and you are not concerned regarding development, then some gentle persuasion is probably in order to get him interested. Does he play on his own using imagination?

Thanks Ican - I know a couple of others like this too and I'm not at all concerned about him generally but would love some gentle encouragement tactics! He's happy the way he is but I want him to see that other kids can be good to talk to too not just adults.

He's an only child (which explains it in part) and a smart cookie (e.g. can read a bit already) who has never really liked the unpredictability of some other young children and is definitely fairly mature. So the reasons he's like this are pretty clear and I know that it's nothing to worry about but it's such a shame sometimes! He likes talking to adults and asking a zillion questions whereas kids don't really answer properly so he thinks they're a waste of time!

MY DS1 aged 5.8 plays for hours on his own and has a wicked imagination - lots of noise effects and role playing. He also enjoys the company of older children (has brother of 12yrs) and enjoys mixing with the 'big' boys. I think they just stimulate him more. The only child aspect is important. My DS2 was on his own until aged 7 and he was very 'grown up' and really enjoyed being with adults and older kids.

DS1 is not particularly academic (on target) but is very bright and 'clued' up. He does enjoy having his school friends to play with, but usually one at a time as he finds the crowd thing a bit hectic.

Maybe look at what he enjoys doing, the kind of games he likes to play and go from there - encouraging his friends to join in and letting your son see that kids of his own age are fun to be with. If he still refuses, time may change as his peers mature.

My little one (coming up to four)is exactly the same. He reads very well and spends all day at nursery in the book corner. The reading thing is an issue in that it's exacerbated the problem - he would rather spend all his time doing that than playing with the other kids who, like yours, he thinks are boring.

He's incredibly gregarious and outgoing in the company of adults and older kids...so it's definately a peer group problem. Emotionally he's not particularly advanced so this is a tricky time for him.

I've talked to the nursery teacher who has persuaded us to push him up to 5 days a week (!) and embark on a gruelling regime of playdates (past playdates are something of a waste of time as he generally ignores whoever is over).

I'm hoping he can find just one or two like-minded individuals at nursery that share a couple of interests with him....my plan is then to shamelessly bribe them with fabulous activities at ours based around those interests. Will keep you posted....