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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My 10 week old ds just WONT sleep!! Ever!!!!!

24 replies

AliceMumma · 15/04/2009 04:45

How do i get my 10 week old DS to sleep more then 3 hours between feeds?

I feed him till hes full as, then awake for a bit, then sleep..(going by the book "Babywise" He will only sleep for just under an hour then wake up and start screaming for a feed!! Ive tried no routine, and now am trying a strict 3 hourly routine but niether is working.. Am i missing something?!

During the night he does 3 hours between feeds and some times 2 hours and 1 hour.

Why does everyone elses babies sleep and mine doesnt!

My 1st child (DS) didnt sleep either but was doing at least 5 hours by about 6 weeks...
Being a 2nd time Mum i thort id have it down pat.... but every kid is different and he wont cry him self to sleep like my dd did... he works himself in to a sweaty angry snotty mess and will cry for hours on end if i let him.

Help!!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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RoseOfTheOrient · 15/04/2009 05:04

Erm, my first fed every 2 hours, round the clock, for the first year...I bf and co-slept otherwise I would have collapsed...
My second was sleeping 5 hours (ish) by about 6 weeks.
Looks like its not whether we are good mums, but what the babies are like.
You are probably going to have to roll with it for a few more weeks.
As to why everyone else's baby sleeps...well, they don't! Just take a look at the Sleep threads here!!

SuperBunny · 15/04/2009 05:09

My DS fed every 2-3 hours round the clock til he was, um, 17 months old.

He cat napped for 20 mins here and there day and night til he was about 10 months old then would sleep for exactly 1 hour at lunchtime.

He started sleeping for 6 - 8 hours a night when he was about 18 months old.

Not what you wanted to hear, is it? Now he's 3 he often sleeps for 12 - 14 hours every night. About time, too!

He was the only one from our baby group who didn't sleep. Everyone else sat and complained that their baby had woken up once in the night

Littlepurpleprincess · 15/04/2009 14:01

How do i get my 10 week old DS to sleep more then 3 hours between feeds?

er...you don't. A 10 week old baby needs to feed every 3 hours. That's what babies do. Except it. Find other ways to cope.

And don't listen to mums at baby groups. THEY LIE! All babies wake at night.

FairMidden · 15/04/2009 14:11

Take your book and burn it. It will do nothing to "fix" things because this isn't a problem. It is, however, crap for you and you have my sympathies. I had this with DS (except for the 3 hours thing at night - he too a loooong time to get into the sleeping at night thing too!) - and it sucks but it's perfectly normal.

Sorry.

I think rather than routines etc, just try to identify what helps him sleep. For example, if he sleeps in the pushchair then get out and about each day when he's likely to nod off. I found that it was then a bit easier to persuade him to sleep elsewhere once his body expected a sleep at that time. This did take moths though, I'm afraid.

Cosleeping might help? [hopeful]

suwoo · 15/04/2009 14:11

Your thread title is misleading though isn't it, my 10 week old won't sleep ever. Well he does for 3 hour periods. As purpleprincess says, thats what babies do .

My DS is 2.4 and still only manages 3 hour periods through the night.

TheProvincialLady · 15/04/2009 14:12

"My 1st child (DS) didnt sleep either but was doing at least 5 hours by about 6 weeks..." You describe that as a non sleeping baby?! Your problem here is your unrealistic expectations of a normal baby. I know it is hard but you will find it a lot less stressful if you accept that this is how it is going to be for a while.

And believe me, everybody else's babies do NOT sleep much better. Unfortunately Everybody is prone to lying/exaggerating/feeling paranoid themselves so stretching the truth a bit!

FairMidden · 15/04/2009 14:13

When I said it took moths, I meant months, obviously.

TheProvincialLady · 15/04/2009 14:19

Oh we did moths. Soothed DS1 to sleep with the sound of little fluttery wings in his cot.

suwoo · 15/04/2009 14:37

Maybe I should try moths with DS, I've tried every other possible approach. Do you think butterflies will work? I prefer the colours

tiktok · 15/04/2009 18:14

AliceMumma - 'Babywise' is not a good book, sorry. My personal opinion is that it is actually very bad!

It is normal for 10 week old babies to feed and sleep and wake and feed and sleep with sleeps of varying lengths.

It's a lot easier to change your expectations than to change this normal behaviour

tiktok · 15/04/2009 18:15

And sorry to sound bossy - but please don't let your baby cry himself into an 'angry, snotty mess'.

Poor little boy

StarlightMcEggzie · 15/04/2009 18:19

I'm sorry OP, but that book you mention has imo the most dangerous breastfeeding advice I have come across and my hobby is reading parenting books for new mums.

StarlightMcEggzie · 15/04/2009 18:21

Also, your title is misleading. You say your baby doesn't sleep ever, when what you actually mean is that he sleeps but just not when it is convenient to you.

Well, baby's don't understand our cultural norms yet, but they do learn by observing. Controlling and forcing is unnecessary and some might say cruel.

valleysprincess · 15/04/2009 20:02

I expect the mums that have babies that sleep longer than 3hrs are bottle fed babies. That's just the way it goes sometimes

StarlightMcEggzie · 15/04/2009 20:31

valleysprincess There is no evidence at all to that claim, although arguably it might be easier to force a routine onto a baby who is not demand fed.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 15/04/2009 20:39

I'm afraid I have to agree with the others...

10 weeks is tiny. I was up 3/4 times a night feeding and thought myself lucky. DD also started sleeping through at 6 months which i understand is nigh on miraculous...

Your DS has a teeny tiny tummy which is why he needs to feed often. Every 2-3 hours at that age, sometimes more often is par for the course I'm afraid.

Sorry.

NannyNightmare · 15/04/2009 20:51

Can I just say not all mums lie.

When I nannied I had a post with a 10-week-old who slept 7-7. Very very short catnaps in the day (maybe 2 x 10 minutes). Breastfed.

Not a lie.

SazzlesA · 15/04/2009 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gagarin · 15/04/2009 20:59

2 hourly for the first 21 months......

fledtoscotland · 15/04/2009 21:19

i dont think there is anything wrong with you baby. both of mine fed every 2-3hrs for the first 3 months, DS1 didnt sleep through the night until he was a year old and DS2 still feeds every 3-4hrs overnight at 7.5months.

sorry but thats what most babies seem to do. I dont know what your book says as i've always done baby-led feeding

suwoo · 15/04/2009 22:07

Oh and by the way, my non sleeping 2 year old (can just about manage 3 hours a night) was formula fed

Original poster

AliceMumma · 19/04/2009 09:28

I have tried a routine that keeps him up after a full half hour feed for another hour, then down for an hour and a half. (during the day). It took him a day to get used to but now he is so much better and loves the routine. He will do a little squeaky noise when he wants to go to bed and will lie in bed awake and drift off. So thats him sorted during the day.

But at night he does one 5 hour (7pm till midnight) then 3 hourly from then. So thats HEAPS better then waking 2 hourly then 1 hourly from 430 am.

I kinda took the Babywise advice and modified it to suit him.

Not too too bothered about feeding during night once or twice, cos my poor boobs are BURSTING after 5 hours!! So its a releif to hear him cry. And im not dangerously tired anymore so thats good

(And i only let him cry for an hour a couple times on the advice of a friend but it didnt really do anything but stress me and him out).

And my 3 friends (one who lives next door) thier babies were sleeping 7 to 13 hours a night from 8 weeks so i just thort that was normal and i was doing it all wrong!

OP posts:

Original poster

AliceMumma · 19/04/2009 09:29

Oh and co sleeping, i cant do it cos it makes me paranoid im gonna squash him or something so i cant sleep properly

OP posts:

K1RS7Y · 22/04/2009 21:43

OMG don't talk to me about babies waking every 3 hours for a feed! My dd would cry constantly throughout the night and would NOT nap in the day and no matter how much I tried to get a routine it did not work! I ended up feeling like a failure and rubbish mum.

So the best advice I ever had was to stop trying to get your baby into a routine and go with the flow...

10 months on and she is still a poor sleeper but she settled into her own daytime routine and sleeps better in our bed.

All babies are different and I think it can sometimes take months, if not longer, to adapt a routine that suits them as well as yourself.

Your friends are very lucky with their babies sleeping so long so young. My 10 month old doesn't manage half that amount of sleep

Best advice I can give is go with the flow and don't give yourself a hard time. I keep telling myself it will get better

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