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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

so ds is back in pull up pants. no idea where to go now with potty training. Is he untrainable?

13 replies

deaconblue · 14/04/2009 21:19

He's 3 next week. We did 3 full months of pants but no progress made at all. He happily pees in the potty on request, but has never asked for the potty and if we ask if he needs to go he always says no. After getting more and more stressed about it and also him only ever pooing in his pants we decided to take the pressure off us and him and put him into pull ups.
so 3 weeks later, we still take him to the potty regularly but have no idea what to do next. Is he likely to at some point just start recognising he needs to pee, or should I put him back into pants and start from scratch again?
Btw, rewards, stickers, presents, chocolates, stars etc all been tried to no avail.

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doulalc · 14/04/2009 21:47

Might be best to hold off for now....no sense in going through the frustration and stress for any of you. When he is truly ready, both physically and emotionally, it should be relatively easy and quick...with perhaps a few accidents here and there.

Will he tell you when he has gone or needs to be changed? Does the sensation of being wet or soiled bother him?

Either keep him in the pull-ups and continue to encourage him, taking him regularly to the toilet....put him back in pants, while encouraging him and having him help change himself when he has an accident....or stick with the pull-ups, take him once in awhile to try, praise him when he does, and just wait until he shows you more signs that he is closer to being ready, such as telling you that he needs to be changed, staying dry through naps or at night, asking to use the toilet, etc., and try again a bit later.

Personally I'd go with the third option...potty training is one area you don't want to become a battle or frustrating. He will get there....it might just be a matter of a couple more months.

Littlepurpleprincess · 15/04/2009 14:05

I'm having the same problem. And on top of that, pull ups are so expensive!!!! He goes through twice as many as nappies and they cost twice as much.

ShrinkingViolet · 15/04/2009 14:11

how about washable trainer pants? They have a layer of waterproofing, enough to protect the clothes a bit, but not enough to absorb all the wee, so the DC still feels wet when they're wet ifswim. Plus they look like "big boy pants" if that's likely to work?

Littlepurpleprincess · 15/04/2009 15:03

I've tried those but they're a bugger to wash if he poos.

Scarletibis · 15/04/2009 15:07

I agree with doulalc - leave it a couple of months and then try again to see if he's ready.

OrmIrian · 15/04/2009 15:11

Leave it. Just leave it. My DS#2 wasn't out of nappies until about 3.5 and when he was it was instant.

Highlander · 15/04/2009 15:21

you're still v v early for potty training a boy. Leave it until he's 3.5. He may not be dry at night until he's closer to 6.

Also, rad Gina Fords book on potty training in a week. Surprisingly empathic - the pre-potty training advice is very sensible.
(I'm a lentil weaver mum BTW, never thought I'd advocate anything she said!!)

Amani · 15/04/2009 15:22

Leave it a bit
my dd potty trained at 3.2 yrs
Started on Monday, 3 days of accidents then on Thursday she was peeing on the loo, but still pooing her pants, and within 2 weeks she was doing both on the toilet.

sinpan · 15/04/2009 16:24

I really despaired of both my sons thought they would never be potty trained. They were both nearly 4 by the time they really got it right...I remember someone saying to me 'there aren't many teenagers who can't use the toilet', which put it in perspective a bit. They just weren't that bothered, whereas I was frantic about it. Definitely not worth the aggro if they're not ready

gladders · 15/04/2009 17:07

agree with everyone else - have a break and then go back to it - timing will be perfect for the summer - much easier then when they're wearing less clothes?

no child is untrainable - otherwise there would be lots of 5 year olds still in nappies

Reallytired · 15/04/2009 17:11

I suggest you go back to nappies and make no fuss. Try potty training again in three months time.

My son was three years and three months and potty trained in 8 days, both day and night.

He was untrainable at three years old and 0 months, but got the idea easily at three years and three months.

A child who is not developmentally ready is untrainable, but they do not stay untrainable forever, unless there are special needs.

mankymummy · 15/04/2009 17:13

agree with reallytired, he's probably not ready. my ds was a late one and he still has accidents now and he'll be four in August.

do not despair, you are not alone.

tbh though i think pullups are confusing for a child. i think its either nappies or big boy pants.

Original poster

deaconblue · 16/04/2009 11:35

thank you so much everyone, you've made me feel better. He does know when he's had a wee or poo, tells me about the poo and sometimes about the wee, but isn't vaguely bothered by it. He can go up to 3 hours without weeing and rarely wees if he falls asleep during the day, so clearly has some bladder control. I don't think it's possible to explain to a toddler what it feels like to have a full bladder and need a wee so it seems I just have to wait til he learns to feel it for himself.
I've found we only go through 2 pull ups a day though as I still take him to the potty so not too bad on expense front.

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