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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

"Unruly or Unsupervised Children will be Taken Away and Sold as Garden Gnomes"

22 replies

Quattrocento · 14/04/2009 19:13

The brats and I are Yorkshiring for a couple of days. We did a serious amount of walking, and happened upon quite a decent pub (The Grouse Inn, somewhere near Haworth) for lunch. It was sort of gastro meets SAGA but the food was good.

The menus bore this warning (the archaic upper case stuff is all theirs).

"In the interest of Other Diners, we ask that Children are on their Best Behaviour at All Times.

Please keep Your Children under close Supervision. Failure to do so May Be Dangerous for both Children and Serving Staff.

Unruly or Unsupervised Children will be Taken Away and Sold as Garden Gnomes."

I was devoutly grateful that the DCs have reliable table manners. I copied it down because it tickled me - though it has to be said they didn't see the funny side

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Metella · 14/04/2009 19:16

I like that!

Hope you're having a great time.

fatzak · 14/04/2009 19:31

Oh I'm glad I wasn't in there I would have been a nervous wreck. Not in fear of the Garden Gnomes(that's not to say I like them by the way!!) but because my DSes are not always on Best Behaviour in Pubs and Restaurants.

Original poster

Quattrocento · 14/04/2009 19:32

I've been threatening to find the Garden Gnome sale all day ...

OP posts:

katiek123 · 14/04/2009 19:42

quattro, we saw the very same sign, minus the reference to the garden gnome sale admittedly, posted v ostentatiously outside a pub in pembrokeshire last summer - luckily we'd just had a hearty and delicious meal at another one nearby - phew!

Takver · 14/04/2009 20:18

one of our local shops has a sign saying that 'unruly children will be taken sold as slaves' - age about 5 when first starting to read dd made me
(a) read it to her properly
(b) explain what unruly meant
(c) explain what a slave was.
She then pulled me out of the shop, looking very, very worried and said 'I don't think I like that shop'
Whoever said small children were too literal?

Stayingsunnygirl · 14/04/2009 20:26

There's a similar sign in the London Aquarium, on the doors that the public aren't allowed to go through, saying something along the lines that trespassers will be fed to the sharks.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 14/04/2009 20:27

One of our local pubs children are sold as slaves.

One of our local tea rooms, cars parked illegally are given to the army for firing practice.

Hulababy · 14/04/2009 20:31

Fab sign

Original poster

Quattrocento · 14/04/2009 20:36

There are lots of these around then, clearly. My two would make perfect if unruly garden gnomes ...

OP posts:

isittooearlyforgin · 14/04/2009 20:38

i didn't know there were places that offered these kind of services...do you have directions?

chocolateismyonlyweakness · 14/04/2009 20:40

On holiday a couple of years ago we stopped in at a smart little cafe, and my ds, then age 5, poured salt on the table, but both were sitting quietly and not causing a problem. This was too much for the proprietor who told us "you have to keep you children under control!" I thought it was intolerant at the time, but we were much better off somewhere more child friendly (we didn't feel welcome and went somewhere else for lunch!). I don't know if anyone else agrees with the proprietor that this was too unacceptable?

I can understand they shouldn't be allowed to run away and cause danger, but IMO there is a much more tolerant attitude abroad, for example, in Greece!

bran · 14/04/2009 20:44

There was a sign on the hippo enclosure at Dublin Zoo that said "Please don't lean too far over the railing. If you fall in the Hippos may eat you and that could make them ill". It made me , but obviously someone in management didn't have the same sense of humour as it had gone the next time I went.

imoverhere · 14/04/2009 20:47

Is it only if unruly in pubs and public places they can be sold as garden gnomes? Do you think you can get the service on line?

Hmmm... I spot a business initiative

georgimama · 14/04/2009 20:49

How would an unruly child make an effective garden gnome though? DS can be unruly and he'd be a useless garden gnome.

I suppose he could be sold into slavery though...

MarmadukeScarlet · 14/04/2009 20:52

Bran @ hippos

I like the garden gnome aspect too, I have a pair perfect for squealing sitting by the fish pond.

god it was not a pot of tea.

SoupDragon · 14/04/2009 20:52

The local pottery painting place has a sign which says something like "Interfering parents will be taken away and fired"

bran · 14/04/2009 20:53

Georgimama - I think they would have to be spray coated with concrete first.

georgimama · 14/04/2009 20:55

That would work. Could someone do that at about 7.20pm each evening, so I can put him to bed a bit more easily?

SoupDragon · 14/04/2009 21:00

He'll be a gnome. You leave him in the garden. What could be easier than that??

georgimama · 14/04/2009 21:03

Fab. I'll have some wine then.

Original poster

Quattrocento · 14/04/2009 22:14

It's taken that sign to make me realise that for years I've been raising gnomes.

OP posts:

WasnaeMe · 14/04/2009 23:03

The tiny newsagent/sweet shop around the corner from where I used to live (run by a rather eccentric and grumpy old man) had a handwritten sign on the door which read

"No children in the freezer"

I should hope not.

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