Please - ideas to motivate ds with reading and writing....

[WasnaeMe]

All you lovely helpful creative mnetters out there - can I pick your brains please?

My ds is almost 6, in year 1. He is very lively, creative and, well, noisy. In reception he sort of learnt how to sit still but didn't make much progress with reading. Now at almost the end of year one he is making progress, sounding out words etc, but is still way behind most of the others. I think it's going to be hard for him in year 2.

He seems to be quite bright and we've talked about the possibility of dyslexia (dh is dyslexic) but the teacher feels he's doing ok and children develop at different rates. I don't trust her opinion 100% as although she is a nice teacher etc, she's not all that creative in her approach. She seems to use a lot of worksheets.

The main problem we have is he resists all the formal approaches. It's like pulling teeth to get him to do his reading book. He never wants to try to write anything, even his name is a struggle. I want to help him, he needs repetition before he "gets" things, but at the same time I don't want to push him and put him off completely. And flashcards make me lose the will to live I'm afraid.

We do things like writing with big chalks outside, reading menus, shop names etc. He loves anything creative but I really need some more ideas for how to help him.

Thank you in anticipation of your ideas!

What is he interested in? If he likes dinosaurs, for example, you could look at some picture books together.

Maybe visit the library/bookshops and he could choose a book he would like to look at and you could read the words to him and just talk about the pictures, no pressure for him to actually look at the words, just encourage a love of books for their own sake and he will want to read when he's ready.

He possibly thinks his school reading book represents hard work and no fun?

Hopefully some knowledgeable mumsnetters will be along in a minute with other suggestions, but it sounds to me as if you already have some good ideas and spend time talking to him.

Thanks, yes he likes listening to stories, and we buy/borrow books he likes (bugs and beasties at the moment!) but if we try to get him to read something we think he could manage in the book, he immediately goes into floppy mode and doesn't want to try.

OOh he sounds just like my ds who is in Year 2 and just turned 7. I am pleased to say my ds has come on leaps and bounds with his reading (writing is a whole other issue....) but it was like pulling teeth at times and I often wanted to bang my head agains a brick wall.

Even now my ds never wants to do homework, draw, colour, nothing. It is hard.

What I found he really loved was a treasure hunt around the house (you can put any kind of treat at thye end) I wrote out a series of basic clues that I thought he could read such as UNDER THE BED, IN THE KITCHEN etc and he had to read the clues to get the prize. We still do it now but with longer and harder clues. Also, if I staple pages together he likes writing little stories, normally about blood and guts but hey at least he is writing!

OOh he sounds just like my ds who is in Year 2 and just turned 7. I am pleased to say my ds has come on leaps and bounds with his reading (writing is a whole other issue....) but it was like pulling teeth at times and I often wanted to bang my head agains a brick wall.

Even now my ds never wants to do homework, draw, colour, nothing. It is hard.

What I found he really loved was a treasure hunt around the house (you can put any kind of treat at thye end) I wrote out a series of basic clues that I thought he could read such as UNDER THE BED, IN THE KITCHEN etc and he had to read the clues to get the prize. We still do it now but with longer and harder clues. Also, if I staple pages together he likes writing little stories, normally about blood and guts but hey at least he is writing!

Thanks DrNorthener, that's brilliant. I think he would LOVE a treasure hunt. He makes things all the time and will draw loads (not colour, that's BORING apparently). When he draws something good I tell him to write his name so I know he's done it, and he always says he'll draw a picture of himself instead!

yes I'm another one who has had exactly this - still do, ds is just 7. Still not reading. TBH it's actually very difficult for us to know what level his reading is at, he's 100% reluctant to do it at home. I agree with DrN's approach of ditching the formal approach and just stick writing/reading in where you can and when you can. The clues is a brilliant approach, also with ds we make little stapled 'books' up. Alot of the time he isn't even doing the writing, we are but sometimes he will; and I think anything that incorporates reading/writing into his life can't be a bad thing

It is frustratingly slow progress though

and tbh I don't know how worried you are about the possibility of dyslexia but with our ds we are about to have him tested, just so we know. I think as a parent your instinct is important and I've felt for a good while that DS' reluctance to read is not the problem but the problem is something is CAUSING his reluctance.

However all that aside, it is perfectly possible that he will just pick it up in the next year or two; there's such a range of skills and abilities in infant age kids - can all be totally within expectations!

just remembered that my posting name reflects my major worry about ds!

Do you want to swap teachers??

I have exactly the same situation with my son, same age, same everything - except the teacher's one line of intent is 'He needs to catch up' while my attitude is 'He is a little boy, he is not the same as all the other little children, fgs leave him alone'.

Sadly however this won't wash with our teacher. He's having nightmares because of it.

I think your teacher sounds great. Read some Steve Biddulph, there's plenty of online research showing boys especially shouldn't be pushed with literacy as it can be really counterproductive.

Around 7 is the best time for them apparently.

slowreading progress, good luck with the testing. Hope you get the support you need. We are keeping dyslexia in the back of our minds, mainly due to dh's previous reading and writing difficulties. I would be happy for ds to be tested if he continues to struggle, but he's still a little young.

I am friendly with year 2 teacher and she said the teaching of literacy to boys in particular can be a difficult task for teachers. She also said that year 2 is when the possibility of dylexia starts to be noticed. Before year 2 it's quite normal for some children to have not "got going" yet.

easterbunyip, sorry to hear your ds is getting stressed out by his teacher. We are still ok at the moment with that - although ds resists reading and writing he does go to school happily and likes his teacher.

It's such a viscious circle - dd found it all so easy and hence WANTED to read and write all the time, which meant she improved more etc etc.

I was thinking of getting him to write a cafe menu with the incentive being he could put on it whatever he liked and I would try to cook it?!

I'm really sorry if my post sounded harsh, it wasn't supposed to - just I had baby asleep on my lap, and was trying to get ds1 to bed, so was a little more direct than intended - sorry.

boys want a purpose for their writing, so things like a clipboard for being bob the builder to make notes about the 'job' on, notebook for going bug spotting, etc. Also lots of telling stories, without the pressure to write them down, especially making up alternative versions to well known stories eg Jack and the beanstalk. If he is used to thinking about the 'what' part of the story he will only have to worry about the 'how' part ie actually writing down ideas. Does that make sense? Its too early in the morning and I've been awake since 6!

I'm replying to this with my teacher hat on! I teach a y2 class which is 2/3 boys. In order to help them make progress, we make things as practical and fun as possible. If body parts, bodily functions, trains or dinosaurs are involved, then so much the better . Many boys also respond to things being slightly competitive eg. a timed element, or a secret element.

There is some really good advice on this thread. I completely agree with:

Reading for a reason
Writing for a reason

A few things you could try:

Lists
Clipboards
Secret messages
Writing to friends
Treasure maps and instructions
Making up games and writing instructions
Designing dens and writing a list of rules of use
Labelling your own posessions
Finding out about something that interests you
Choosing your own books in the library
Listening to story tapes
Being read to
Writing with tomato ketchup on plates, and bubble bath in the bath
Make "mark making" fun
Chalks outside

Try to keep the pressure off, and make it really practical.

Good luck (and sorry about the dull teacher!)

Wasnae me, our experience for what it's worth might be helpful. Your story might be describing our DS at 6. He is a very bright, very creative and intelligent boy, but at this stage (he is now 8.5) we really had problems getting him to read anything.

He was always "slow" on the reading front. Loved his numbers and always excelled, but always a bit slower on the reading front.

Fortunately, we have very supportive (and it has to be said, very experienced) teachers who took the time to talk us through "reading strategies" that the kids adopt and pointing out to us ( quite forcefully ) that indeed, every kid is different and learns differently and that although we weren't happy with his approach, which was to memorise everything - hence he wasn't really reading things, in our view - that he was making sufficient progress and that if we could chill out a little bit and relax, he would easily get there.

We trusted them and over the last 2.5 years he has made fantastic progress, most of it coming in the last 12 months.

The start was finding something he liked to read and with our DS it was Captain Underpants - which to me was an anathema, because it wouldn't survive a minute's scrutiny of the eagle eyes of the Mumsnet "Proper English" brigade (of which I am a paid up member)... it is riddled with incorrect spelling, terrible grammar (if any..) but P1/P2/P3 kids love the stories.

We were helped by the fact that our Depute Head has a boy the same age and was able to assure us that her DS' situation was the same. (Not ALL boys are later to take up reading btw, but many are..)

DS progressed from Capt Underpants (but still loves getting the new ones as soon as they come out) to reading football magazines, comics, Dr Who comics (which his Gran, a retired Primary Head bought him to encourage his reading, but likewise cautioned "chilling out" ).

Now, he has his own "Waterstone's Card" and loves nothing more than going in to buy a book whenever we pass. He's now in the top reading group - but has to work hard - however we have now recognised the importance of finding his interests and directing him towards these - Football magazines, the Sports section of Weekend Broadsheets, Astronomy books, websites...

We work closely with his teachers who are very receptive to our ideas and who genuinely encourage us to bring in work that he does at home to ensure that they are up to speed with progress that they might not be seeing in a group situation. (He loves writing stories...)

I guess what I am saying is, sure your DS might be dyslexic, but he might just be as your teacher feels "a normal, ok boy".

The trick we found was to thole the pulling teeth, the huffs, the tantrums (your name suggests you will know what thole means), to get through the reading books and flashcards and find the things that "floats his boat" - whatever - whatever they are and encourage him to read them and watch him to see how he goes.

Thanks everyone.

Morethanjustadad, good to hear you ds is doing so well. Hopefully my ds will be the same. I agree with you that he should get to read whatever he wants - I reluctantly purchase Spiderman comics and the like!

Littlefish, I think my ds would respond well to most of your "strategies". The one things that has never worked with him is competition though (that's dd's area!). He doesn't seem to be motivated by winning. At sports day he jogged down the track at a snail's pace, even though I know he can run fast when he's running away from me! On the contrary though when we did an egg hunt he was racing around for the chocolate!

plusonemore - I agree totally.

easterbunjip, no prob

I work as a teaching assisstant in a primary school and have 2 children aged 8 & 9. I too stressed out about my children's reading in Y1 / Y2 and thought I was a 'bad' mum because I didn't read all the time with my children like the other mums seemed to (it wasn't worth the battle). However, since becoming a teaching assistant I have seen reading in a totally different way. I am currently studying a degree in literacy and reading is 1/2 of the course. It is important that children have exposure to lots of different text, including those dreaded Spiderman comics, and see reading as something to enjoy rather than a chore. Children are learning all day in school and then to come home and be expected to do more is very tiring and you can't blame them for not wanting to do it. If your child doesn't want to read their reading book to you, read it to them. Modelled reading is a very important part of learning to read. When they don't feel pressured you can make 'mistakes' on easier words and they can correct you - raising their confidence. Bedtime stories are also vital - expose your child to as much language as they can. I work with children who are pressured at home to read and they are usually the children who's shoulders drop when you ask them to read with you. The other children who tend to struggle are those who have no exposure to books at home - but these children tend to be more keen because there is no pressure from home. I agree with the posts above - read anything. Signs when your out, car names, anything that they are interested in. Rewards are a great incentive - a sticker chart for everytime you share a book (you or your child reading). The reward could be a game at the end of the week or time for baking etc. When my son was in reception & Y1 he very rarely brought a reading book home even though I and the teacher reminded him. I eventually realised that it was because he felt he couldn't do it and didn't want to fail - I wish I'd known then that reading was more than sitting and trying to work out was the marks on the page were saying. By the middle of Y2 my son got the reading bug and read all the Harry Potter books independtly by the time he was 8.
I'm hope your child develops an enjoyment for reading. I'm sure he hasn't got dyslexia but a mother's instinct should never be ignored. Have you had an eye test? Or it may be Irlen Syndrome (google it). A good optition will be able to diagnose this easily. Hope this helps.

I work in Special Education as a teacher.

Personally I would push the teacher to have your son assessed. Dyslexia can run in families/ be hereditary, therefore there are already reasons to be watchful.

Contrary to what some people believe leaving your son to struggle, if he is dyslexic, will probably turn him off learning further. If he is just 'finding his feet' having an assessment will do no harm and may help with the whole approach to teaching.

There are many things that can be done, lots of novelty and incidental learning as already suggested; sensitive teaching and modified lessons from his teacher.

There are many courses that you can do on dyslexia if this proves to be the case. Personally I believe the earlier you know and can respond the better. Good luck!