toddler nightmares - help!

[dinkyboysmum]

wondering whether anyone can offer any advice?

ds1, aged 22mnths, moved into his 'big boys bed' a few months ago...no problems at all. has always been a good sleeper and slept 7-7 from early on. we did the control crying and he has always been able to soothe himself back to sleep. (except a few bad teething nights)..when he does wake crying, we know there is a problem.

recently he has been waking screaming, terrifed, at about 2am. when i go in he wants a cuddle, then wont let me put him down. he will go back into bed if i go in with him. its like he has had a bad nightmare and is genuinly scared. he then settles and 'talks' to me...he is wide awake and starts wanting to tickle play! if i try to leave, he screams again and gets out of his bed. have tried putting on his 'quiet music' and have nightlight, but dont seem to help. last night i put him in his travel cot, in his room, which seemed to help, he cried for a few minutes, but then settled for the rest of the night...but cant help thinking this is regressing?

i am 28 wks pg with dc2 and working f/time, and am finding it tiring to be doing this every night! not sure how i should be handling it. guess i shouldnt really get in bed with him?

we have a well established bedtime routine...tea, play, bath, story, milk, classical music. so it is always a calm settling down time.

any tips or advice welcome!

this is a bit of an off-the-wall suggestion but these sound like they might be night terrors - my DD had them quite badly for a couple of years and the homeopathic remedy belladonna ablates them within a minute or so - worth a try! that one is available over the counter from boots or similar or can be ordered from helios (google them) in more toddler-friendly sugary granule form (pillules). might be worth a go. i have found homeopathy quite hit and miss but this one does seem to be amazingly effective in this particular situation. just a thought - i will leave the behavioural advice to the many wise mums who will i am sure be along soon! good luck

Sorry - no experience with this, but I was under the impression that night terrors are when the child is not really aware they are screaming out etc, and waking them up is a bad idea. Bit like sleepwalking I guess... and also they came earlier in the night (first 3-4 hrs) whereas nightmares wake the child up upset, and happen after 4hr mark ish. This may mean that this is the latter...

Is it possible to try and get him to explain what he is upset about? Maybe this will give you some clues as to how to deal with it - a monster spell, or box to lock it in for example. My concern is that he is getting used to the attention and is now waking on cue and crying as he knows it gets cuddles, mummy in bed etc. It may be back to some bedtime discipline, so you ask if he actually had a nightmare, and if not, then pop him back in bed with a "It's bedtime now" and leave him to wail for a bit. I do know how manipulative toddlers can be!! but as you've already done sleep "training" it might be tie to reinforce it again.

jimjam, you're right. DD's were always within a couple of hours of going to sleep, i'd forgotten that detail!

No expereience myself, but a friends ds suffered from these and hv advised waking him ( sounds mad i know) shortly before they normally happen and then resettling quickly. It worked for my friends ds, he semed to get out of the cycle quite quickly. Think it would only work if , like other messages, they are always at the same sort of time each night.

Hope your ds ( and you ) get a peaceful night soon.

he's definitly awake when he cries...not like a 'night terror' that i've read about.
last night wasnt too bad, he woke & cried briefly but settled himself.
difficult to 'talk' to him about it as he is only 22mnths & cant really tell me much!!