Intrinsic Parenting: Methods to Stop 4 yr DS1 Tormenting 2 year old DS2

[Highlander]

DS1 is a pretty normal 4 year old. Goes to nursery, loves it, very chatty etc etc.

He is driving me mad with his taunting of DS2. We just ignore his cheek ('you're just a big poopy mummy') and he rarely tries it on with us.

Usuaally at mealtimes (we all sit together) he will just niggle and niggle at DS2. No matter what we do, he just won't stop - and I can see it's because he gets a reaction out of DS2. I hate the 'naughty step', but I angrily resorted to it yesterday. The big problem I have is that I don't want to remove DS1 from the table and result in him not eating (he's a slightly picky eater).

Any words of wisdom?

Are they ever affectionate at all? Can/do they play together nicely?

I think its really important to encourage the love between siblings. Make them do kind things for each other, and to talk politely to each other as a matter of course. Once that becomes part of normal behaviour they are far less likely to taunt just to get a rise out of the other one.

Your DS1 needs to see that it's as unnacceptable to be horrible to his brother as it is to call you and your DH names.

Of course they will bicker and it won't be all sweetness and light (they are brothers after all ) but really discourage any mean behaviour. And if it means a few trips to the naughty step for him to realise it's unnacceptable, then it won't do him any harm.

Also meant to say, try not to blur the two issues (picky eating and bad behaviour).

If he is removed from the table for taunting his brother, deal with that, then bring him back and carry on the meal as usual. Don't let him see that you are concerned about it affecting his eating and don't mention food as anything to do with the time out.

e.g say "If you do that again I'll put you on the step for 4 minutes" rather than something like "If you do that again you will will go on the step and your dinner will get cold"

well, there's the wierd thing. They do generally play very nicely together. TV is limited to only going on at 4pm at the earliest, so they spend a lot of time playing whilst I get on with housework etc. Their obsession is the wooden train track and they can quite happily play for ages constructing it and playing games.

They're both very affectionate with us, but not really with each other, but then they don't physically fight either. Saying that, DS1 has this irritating habit of whacking DS2 with his arm outstretched if he's walking/running by him.

It's just in the car or at the table when DS1's brain doesn't seem to be pre-occupied with anything else.

, will maybe resort to naughty step.

aah, I have been guilty of talking about his dinner getting cold