Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Help please with jealous, anxious, insecure older child

28 replies

flightattendant19 · 11/04/2009 07:31

Ds1 has been off because of the holidays, and he's being a nightmare.

Every day he is stroppy, grumpy, miserable, keeps hurting himself in the garden, eg by doing power ranger stuff with tent poles, coming in crying every few minutes till I ask him to put the poles away, then he carries on... and hurts his little bro as well, a lot.

If I ask them to stop being silly he says 'ds2 started it' and 'I'm doing what ds2's doing' or 'I want to be like ds2' whom I presume he thinks gets away with everything

To a degree it's true as I can't ask a toddler to stop, he won't understand...so I try and not blame ds1, just ask him to be responsible and help me, and try and make it appealing to be the 'good' one etc - but it ain't working.

Also he does get it in the nexk more, because I know he is capable of behaving better but doesn't.

I've explained that he used to be a rampaging toddler as well, he had a good go at that. I'm trying to have some one on one time with him when posible but toddler is very much around and my mum won't have him on his own.
I had to go on a trip the other day and took toddler with me (nightmare enough!) while ds1 chose to stay with grandma (he had the option to come too) and then he got really really angry that I'd left him behind, although I asked him if he was sure etc etc beforehand. Maybe he felt I didn't want him?

He also cries and panics every time I am not within sight - like if I go to put out the rubbish, or make a cup of tea, he will panic and run round shouting 'mummy!!!' hysterically until he finds me

This isn't usual for him, he seemed happier during term - but maybe it's built up exhaustion? Has anyone been here and what can I do for poor little chap?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nickschick · 15/04/2009 10:42

Flight I know exactly what you are saying my ds1 was much dored by my dh when ds2 arrived within days my terminally ill mil died so my dh kind of missed out on ds2 and wasnt quite as close in those days you never get back -so I ind of double loved ds2 to make up for him being born in a sad time.

I think building up your ds1 in confidence and esteem even if you have to encourage him to try things some other kids do just s par for the course is the way to go,you need to closely watch what the latest fads are and try and get him 'into' the fad....

Dont get all wound up about it-its not something that you can sort out over night and it all takes time.

Ds1 has just reminded me how I got him to 'fit in' I bought him astro turf football shoes just like the popular kids and he was immediately accepted to play football on the field.....incidentally that became a v expensive hobby as he is now an avid man u supporter.......

flightoftheeasterbunyip · 15/04/2009 12:34

Oh you sound really sensible, thankyou

Yes they were all into Gogos last term and then we got him some, and the next day they got banned!! Argh!

Will start paying him more attention all round I think. I am so tired from waking with ds2 all night, that often ds1 doesn't get my involvement in anything he's doing and that's not fair is it.

Must Try Harder

piscesmoon · 15/04/2009 19:44

You sound a bit unfortunate in his teacher-she doesn't sound very flexible or understanding. I assume he gets a new one in September?-I should try and get in early and have a word, he really needs someone on his wavelength.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page