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Severe insect phobia is stopping my 9 year old DS going outside & I don't know how to tackle it

7 replies

Pinkchampagne · 10/04/2009 12:45

He got stung when he was 4 & has been phobic about bees & wasps ever since, but this year it has got worse in that I can't physically get him outside when the sun is shining, even if there are no wasps or bees around. He is being assessed for possible ASD so has lots of issues that other children his age don't, and you just can't sit him down & explain things in ways you can with other children. He is now freaking about every flying insect he sees & it is stopping him playing outside & having fun.

Yesterday I bought insect repellent thinking that would help, but he still freaks at the door if I try to get him in the garden so hasn't helped at all. He seems to be getting worse with it & summer is going to be a total nightmare.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Pinkchampagne · 10/04/2009 12:56

Maybe I should have put this in the special needs section.

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muffle · 10/04/2009 12:59

The poor love. I think you need to keep taking his fears seriously by looking at ways to protect him - after all insects can hurt you (I hate wasps), so you won't be able to get him to just chill out overnight.

When I went to costa rica I had a great mossie hat a bit like a beekeeper's hat, but black, with a net around the face. You may be able to get one from travel shops such as nomad - I'll have a little look for you. Show him how to cover up by wearing long sleeves and tucking trousers into socks. If he feels prepared enough he may be able to play outside and then gradually become braver.

muffle · 10/04/2009 13:01

found one

You could add a drawstring or velcro system to attach it to neckline.

Pinkchampagne · 10/04/2009 13:39

They look good - you never know, that might do the trick. The spray hasn't helped at all though & I thought it might. There were little flies in the garden & even they freaked him earlier. I literally cannot get him outside at all atm.

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Lancelottie · 10/04/2009 14:19

OK, I'm not an expert but do have a son with Aspergers who suffered horribly from OCD and pretty-much-anything phobia (chemicals, insects, birds, yew trees, berries, furry animals, lead poisoning...) for two years when he was your boy's age. In the end he had two courses of cognitive behavioral therapy with a trained therapist, but it was a long, long wait to get the appointments. With big reservations, then, here's what we learnt.

Basically, their approach to each phobia was 'exposure; response prevention; distraction', but starting very, very low key. From the sound of it, his (logical) initial fear has spread to all insects, not just bees and wasps, so it really is a phobia. Right, that gives you something to work with. You start by finding the point at which he is NOT badly frightened, and work up very gently.

The whole aim is to build up tolerance slowly, not to protect and reassure him too much. (We tried for ages to tell DS that he was safe -- cleaned surfaces, shooed away insects, explained, reassured... It didn't work. It just escalated the fear and 'justified' the obsession.)

Is he OK with pictures of insects, or mentioning their names? If he's even worried by these, you could start inside, with a cuddly ladybird or a picture of a grasshopper something safe. See if he can cope with having it in the same room ('exposure'). If he can even briefly he gets a reward for staying ('response prevention') and you quickly start doing something else that he likes (distraction play trains, watch a video, eat chocolate, whatever!).

Once he can play happily with the safe toy/model nearby, the next stage would probably be to get some unfortunate ladybird, woodlouse or spider (nothing too flappy) in a jar and have it around while you play, distract and reward. It might take one session, or it might take lots. Then maybe see if he can manage to play inside with the door open; or have a (safe) bug in an open jar. Keep on with the treats for successfully coping. Sod his teeth for the moment -- a few chocolate buttons may need to be sacrificed in a good cause.

He may need expert help -- as I said, I'm only an expert on my own child. But this softly softly approach has now seen off DS's fear of metals, birds, trees, strange cars and buses, and (mostly) chemicals.

God, I seem to have written you an essay. You've probably bought him a beekeeping hat and gone for a picnic by now!

All the best, anyhow.

Pinkchampagne · 10/04/2009 17:36

Thanks, that's really helpful advice.

We went to my DP's family this afternoon for an easter egg hunt & he wouldn't go out in the garden to look for eggs because he saw a bee around a flower, so it really has got bad. Seems especially bad today to the point he is chewing his clothes (something he does when anxious) and physically shaking at the prospect of stepping out into the garden, so the spray may have almost made it worse.

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troutpout · 11/04/2009 07:58

Oh blimey we had this problem rather intensly with ds (11 aspergers) when he was about 7 or 8. He is still petrified of insects but it doesn't curtail our outings like it used to. I remember one particularly hidious trip with a slumbering wasp which woke up in the car on the motorway .OMG it was mayham!
This is still one we have to work on tbh to keep it under control.
Books,films,dvd's....anything he can cope with to do with insects. After he could cope with that,we also went to Natural history museums to look at the ones with pins through them in all the trays.He rather liked this...(all that scientific catagorising and sorting i expect ).Also because he got to the stage when he could look at these really big ones, i think it made the little things he sees here not half as bad.
My ds is particularly bad at the beginning of summer when they suddenly appear again...so i must do some work on this also.

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