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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do I cure a phobia of hair-washing in my toddler?

19 replies

oysterpots · 09/04/2009 19:54

DS is 20mo and has always been ok in the bath, quite liked it in fact. For the past 6 months or so he's totally freaked out about having his hair washed though, so I've been washing his hair with less and less frequency (every few weeks). Last night was screaming blue murder about it

Tonight he didn't even want to get in the bath, I think he must've been traumatised by last night's episode. My mum said I was the same at his age and her advice was just to wash his hair as little as possible. But I'm not sure...

I used to take him swimming once a week when he was wee, but the pool lost its lifeguard and lessons were cancelled. He really loved swimming at that age (less than 1yo) and I haven't really taken him since.

I'm wondering whether I need to re-introduce water as a brilliant, fun thing - I really don't want a water-phobic child!

Any advice? Surely I can't be the only one!

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jelliebelly · 09/04/2009 19:56

Just another phase that many toddlers go through - just have to grit your teeth and wash it as quickly as you can to get it over with ime

EffiePerine · 09/04/2009 19:56

How do you wash it? Have you tried using a flannel to wash his hair?

ShannaraTiger · 09/04/2009 19:59

Have you got a shampoo shield, £3.99 in Boots I think. Fairly effective at keeping the water out of his eyes if that's the problem.

brimfull · 09/04/2009 19:59

imo it's a phase

ds was like this,he grew out of it

just be patient and he'll get over it

sharkyandgeorge · 09/04/2009 20:03

My DD went through this, firstly screamed all the way through having hair washed this then progressed to screaming bloody murder at even turning on the bath taps.

It passed over time and now at 2.6 she loves her bath again and will tolerate having her hair washed with minimal complaining.

I would think this is just a phase which you are best going through by making baths as quick as possible and not making a big thing about them.

Original poster

oysterpots · 09/04/2009 20:05

not sure it's going in his eyes. he just really doesn't seem to like his hair getting wet - even after we get him out of the bath he keeps touching his hair, realising it's still wet and begins sobbing again.

He does have particularly nice hair, so I can see why he gets upset

Might try one of the shields though to see if that'll help.

I use the stacking cups he plays with to tip water increasingly higher up his body, so maybe a flannel would be better.

For a while I brought a hand mirror into the bathroom to show him his 'dinosaur hair' (soapy spikes) which sort of worked, although he remained very suspicious and hated the rinsing.

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 09/04/2009 20:06

Dd1 (now 3) has been terrified of hairwashing since she was about 18 months old. I used to take her swimming, but she freaked out about putting her head under water, so I don't know if this is why.

She still hates it now, and screams when we do it (but not half as much as she used to), so I don't have a magic solution I'm afraid. But we do try to make it as quick and painfree as possible!, so we have a jug with a soft edge like this, which stops any water going in her eyes and makes the rinsing part really quick, dh holds a dry flannel over her eyes as well, we hardly use any shampoo, and we only wash her hair weekly or if it seems really dirty.

Good luck!

hazeyjane · 09/04/2009 20:09

Personally I found the shampoo shield a bit rubbish, partly because some water still got through, and partly because dd kept trying to pull it off. If his hair is short a flannel is probably the gentlest way.

Dd is the same about the wet hair, hates it if even the ends get wet.

Thrifty · 09/04/2009 20:14

damp flannel to wet, shampoo then bucket of water. will scream, but at least its over and done with quickly. wipe water off face with flannel, whisk from bath immediately and wrap in warm towel. tickle until gets over the shock.

nobodysfool · 09/04/2009 20:23

Sorry havent read any of the other replies but we had the same with our ds and it was a phase that lasted a few awful months.
Firstly have you had his ears checked in case there is some sort of infection?May be worth a check.
The ONLY way i found possible to wash ds hair and the way i still do is to wet his hair with a flannel,put the shampoo on and lather up, then use a soaking wet flannel to wash away the suds, it will take a little while but you can make sure no water goes in his ears or face.
HTH.

breaghsmum · 09/04/2009 21:39

let him hold a wrung out flannel over his eyes, tip my mum gave me when ds had the same problem, also, could you try letting him wash a dolls hair in the bath before you do his and then show him how calm dolly was and that it didnt hurt. i know its frustrating but patience is key and unless his hair is really mucky or smelly then i wouldnt force the issue.

Portoeufino · 09/04/2009 21:49

Ditto the flannel. My dd went through the same thing. She screamed blue murder, I washed hair anyway. We have both survived to tell the tale. In fact now she will allow me to use the shower attachment to rinse it She does still make a fuss at 5 if water gets in her eyes, but is strangely not so bothered in the pool/sea....I think it is one of those things you have to "harden" yourself to.

lizandlulu · 09/04/2009 21:54

one thing that really helped us was so so simple, but to keep dd talking while i was doing her hair, so she lifted her head up and back to look at me, which kept the wahter away from her face.

dont know if it will help but worth a try

breaghsmum · 09/04/2009 21:57

also, something that works but i dont understand it, my ds hates the hose attatchment in the bath but if i let him have a shower he actually turns the hose upside down so as its like a fountain and it soaks him, he thinks its great fun and he just closes his eyes to rinse shampoo.

Original poster

oysterpots · 09/04/2009 22:08

All brilliant tips, thanks. I'll try them out. Won't be too long before he gets jam in his hair or something

wish me luck!

OP posts:

mrsbabookaloo · 09/04/2009 22:09

We just went through this with dd and it has been cured miraculously by going over to a friend's and having a bath with her toddler and dd let my friend wash her hair in a way that she would never let us; she lay back in the bath for her so she could get her hair wet. And the next time we did it at home we just reminded her of what she had done at our friends house and we seem to be over it....

(I'm trying to see this as a positive outcome of the fact that we haven't had any hot water at home for a month...)

pscc · 09/04/2009 22:10

had the same problem with my 3 year old dd when she was around 18months and now have the same problem with 21month ds- have you tried johnsons easy rinse shampoo- it really rinses out very quickly, like most of the advise I think we just have to try to get it over and done with as quickly as possible! had the experience again this evening with ds screaming as if he was being tortured!

Portoeufino · 09/04/2009 22:14

Re. the "torture" thing, I used to worry about the neighbours calling SS!

pscc · 09/04/2009 22:33

ditto- I still have it when dressing/undressing my son aswell as washing his hair!

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