Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

This can't be normal..........can it??

16 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins · 09/04/2009 18:55

My DS 16 months has been a happy, contented, very lively chap up till now.....!
In the last 3 months he has turned into a monster, he:

Winges all the time,
Wants to do everything himself
Won't go in the pushchair
Won't eat
Is moody and clingy then wants to run off
Hates having his nappy changed
Won't hold my hand in the park etc

He is also a bit obsessive about things, he insists on putting the key in the lock, putting his straps on, turning the light on etc etc

I AM TOTALLY NACKARD AND GOING IN SANE!!!!!!!!

Do you think he may have a problem??? This just can't ne normal can it????

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

seeker · 09/04/2009 18:58

Completely normal - sorry! It will pass. To be replaced by something else to make you tear your hair out!

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins · 09/04/2009 19:02

Noooooooooooooooooooo! But he is sooooooo unhappy! I'm sure his friends aren't this bad!

OP posts:

piscesmoon · 09/04/2009 19:11

Completely normal I'm afraid-he is discovering he is a separate being and doesn't have to do what you want him to-there is also a big world to explore!
Hopefully he will get better when the language skills improve and you can reason. However the 'terrible twos' will kick in and he will throw tantrums when he doesn't want to listen to reason! As that phase finshes another will start!

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins · 09/04/2009 19:42

I was hoping it was teething!! I just wish he was happy for some of the day, back to laughing and giggling......I miss it

OP posts:

ConnorTraceptive · 09/04/2009 19:45

DS1 went through a stage like this at 16 months it was awfull but it did pass.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins · 09/04/2009 19:59

How long Connor? Is putting me off trying for number 2

OP posts:

dontbitemytoes · 09/04/2009 20:41

completely normal, but bribery works well for me (dd 19 months old here -and getting slightly better) as do threats... but of a contradiction in terms, but it depends very much on her mood. IE if i think shes hungry i say "do you want this eg humzinger" dd: "yes peas"
me :"sit in pushchair then"
dd "mummy elp"

in she goes, no fussing and i push her for as long as i need to.

Alternatively if she's wel fed and not in mood for bribery and being a pain in the neck i will say "dd hold my hand or go in pushchair"
dd "no"
me: down to her level. if you don't hold mummy's hand you will go in the pushchair"
i would say 8 times out of 10 she will hold my hand, the other 2 times i force her screaming into the pushchair and ignore her until her rage turns to tears then we have a cuddle and i calm her down (without resorting to getting her out)

The message does get across, i realise i am nowhere near the terrible 's yet (and the thought terrifies me) but in the last 3/4 months she's become an awful lot better and less tantrummy.

HTH

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins · 09/04/2009 20:44

Thank-you dontbitmytoes (love the name!). I think its more his mood that worry's me, he was so happy before! I just don't know why he is so unhappy.....

OP posts:

piscesmoon · 10/04/2009 07:56

I can see that you are unhappy because he is so contrary but are you sure that he is unhappy?

bubblagirl · 10/04/2009 08:03

my ds went through tis stage i hated gtoing out i wanted to curl up in bed and escape the days

it did pass ignore and try and stay cheerful no matter what it does help as they do pick up on your stress and act out even more

i used to also give choices and followed through with them regardless he soon learnt if he didn't hold my hand he went in pushchair kicking and screaming or id have his fave sweets just for that moment of going in chair

or his fave smoothie drink right sit down and you can have your smoothie that used to work wonders no stress

he learnt if he didnt do it i would strap him in no matter what he soon new to hold my hand and enjoyed being bit more independent

it will pass though its an awkward age for them if you need breathing space dont be afraid if his happy playing to take 5 mins out it can be tough but it will pass soon enough its a milestone there reaching on understanding thew world and finding there limits knowing and being told works wonders my ds worked well with structure and knowing right and wrong

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins · 10/04/2009 13:07

Thank-you soooo much, daddy has taken him off for an hour and reading this I do feel better, its just so exhusting, he used to be the easy baby in my post natal group! I think I need to get harder with the walking off thing, although sometimes this is fine in a nice park etc but not walking down the road. Would you bother with reins?

Thank-you for your support - I really was low yesterday and you really cheered me up!

OP posts:

Anifrangapani · 10/04/2009 13:10

He sounds just like mine - at four he is just growing out of it.

Please tell me that the teenage years aren't that bad

mulranno · 10/04/2009 14:24

All normal...would suggest that you try to ensure that he doesnt pick up your anxiety...so even though you might have th fixed grin...gritted teeth will give it away.

Some children dont always appear happy...some are born smiling some growling and they change all of the time...

bubblagirl · 10/04/2009 14:41

reins would be a good idea if it means you feel more relaxed as that will show when with ds

i do find my ds can pick up when im worried and acts out more i have to relax and set limits that im h happy with so i can relax more

also pick your battles other wise you will be stressed continuously

enjoy your peace i did find once my ds communicated more he was much calmer its hard age for them as they are being told what to do cant express themselves so find what your limits are and let him have some Independence lots of praise etc

but he is still young and he will grow out of it these phases come and go but you know how to handle it after the first ones gone

i do find consistency and rules work well then they know where they are and what to do but will always push it so you need to pick battles carefully and try and have fun i found when my ds was being particularly troublesome playing chase or tickling his belly to distract him out of it worked really well

likessleep · 10/04/2009 14:59

How reassuring this thread is! My 17mth DS is exactly the same, everything seems like a huge battle. He kicks me when I change him nappy, he arches his back when I put him in highchair/car seat etc, he's now really fussy with food and used to eat everything.

I say "no" and just continue what I am doing and when we are done, I distract him. Not really sure this is working, but I don't know what else to do really.

He even had a tantrum the other day, I walked into the next room to ignore him, he went quiet, followed me in and then started tantrumming again! Agh!

I am shattered by the time DH comes home. I keep repeating "this will pass, this will pass".

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins · 10/04/2009 18:45

likesleep, isn't it great hearing from all these experienced mums! Thank god for MN. Yes your sons behaviour is just the same as mine!

I tried the pushchair or hold my hand thing today and it went well at first but then he got sick of it and we left the garden centre sharpish! I did feel more in control though so that's a good thing.

bubbagirl - thank you!

OP posts:

Flip