21 month old daughter cries excessively and wants to leave whenever we go to a home other than her own

[poco21]

My daughter has always been difficult (colic, whiny, clingy, only wants her mom) but she has just started this new thing where she cries hysterically whenever we enter someone's home. She wants to leave right away. Is this normal and what things should I do to help her get over this....her grandparents babysit Saturday and she doesn't want to stay there.

Hello, my son is 22 months and this has just started happening to me too. He used to love toddler group and other activities that we used to go to but in the last few weeks he has started to cry and goes to the door wanting to leave wherever we go, as soon as we do he perks up! Someone told me that I just have to be strong and ignore it but it is hard and I dont understand why he is doing it. He has also been a spirited (difficult!) baby, so I know how you feel.

It comes and goes in phases. Each phase can last months.

My ds 2.7 years has before his second birthday been crying at others' houses, parties, christmas plays, wanting to leave.

I have no doubt that one day he will suddenly snap out of it. Both my dcs were difficult. There isn't much you can do except make sure they have enough sleep, are well-fed/hydrated and reasonably entertained. Even then, it is no guarantee, as I am sure you know.

Dh and I will take turns to take him outside or we limit what we know will be stressful outings for him. It will pass .

poco21, for Saturday, if it is just a few hours, be prepared if your dd does not settle at your grandparents. If it is longer, I would have backup plans.

thank you blueshoes it is reasuring to hear I am not the only one it is happening to, I can't help but feel it is something I am doing wrong. You feel you are the only one that sees how wonderful your child can be! because everytime we are out he is miserable! You are right I am sure it will pass. Can I ask do you stay put wherever you are however bad it gets? Do you ignore/reasure? People have told me that I shouldn't "give in" and stick it out whatever? What do you think? thanks

suzi10, you are not doing anything wrong . They are what they are. As for whether we stay put or reassure, ignore etc. I think just play it by ear. There is very little you can do to make your little man happy if he is miserable. But you can limit the damage to others' eardrums.

So we go on the basis that one of us might have to temporarily flee the premises. We bring a buggy in case. Or stuff cakes into his mouth at parties to keep him just that whisker away from a tantrum. If he goes into thrombos on the floor, I watch and wait for the worst to be over, making sure he cannot hurt himself, then take him out/distract.

I don't bother with others' opinions. One mother came by and asked me what I was doing ie paying attention to my son who was clearly struggling and I was supposedly feeding the dragon. I said nothing but marked her.

It is hard. Our children are not the mild garden variety. But I prefer spirit and strength of character. We just have to usher them through this phase for now. hth.

DS2 was exactly like this! He would whine, say 'home', and cling to me really tightly. I found that the worst thing I could do was try and put him down. he would normally cling to me for 30 mins then might try going down by himself. He changed a lot when he started to walk (21 months) and then changed beyond all recognition when he started nursery. Settling in at nursery was grim for about 2 months, but he skips in happily now and is transformed when we go out.

Go with it, but don't feel pressurised into forcing her to leave you.