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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How to deal with 'naughty' behaviour in 14 month olds? Ignore? Say no? Any wise words?!

16 replies

twinmam · 08/04/2009 15:40

My DDs are 14 months old and although I get the whole ignoring things idea there is some behaviour I just can't, namely biting and pushing one another. I have tried doing the firm 'no' and shaking my head which seems to work with DD2 - she usually stops what she's doing. However DD1 seems to enjoy getting up to mischief and laughs and points at me when I say no at her (it's very cute but I do manage not to laugh)and then continues whatever it is she's doing, e.g. pulling wallpaper off the wall, hitting her sister! Any suggestions for letting them know there is some behaviour that's not acceptable? Or are they far too young for this? What would you do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PullMyFinger · 08/04/2009 15:43

Say no, move the baby away from the scene, plonk elsewhere, distract distract distract

good luck

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 08/04/2009 15:44

Too young. It's not really 'naughty' at this age. PMY is spot on, imo. Firm no, physically shift them and distract them with something shiny

Original poster

twinmam · 08/04/2009 15:53

I guess the main prob is when they are doing 'naughty' or dangerous things at the same time or to one another! Guess I will have to keep on running around after them. Distraction does work sometimes but then the something shiny can become desirable to both of them and then it's another shoving contest! DD1 pushed DD2 over the other day and when I separated them and did the 'no' thing she laughed with glee, grabbed my finger and tried to bite it. I think she is possessed by demons. I guess I'm wondering if 'no' is the reaction she is after as she seems to find it so hilarious so may persist with no for DD2 as it does seem to stop her but just remove DD1 from the situation altogether and ignore the 'negative' stuff. They do get lots of praise on the rare occasions they are behaving nicely

OP posts:

Beetroot · 08/04/2009 15:54

distract

emmabemmasmom · 08/04/2009 16:11

I have had the same problems with my DD who is 16 months. She used to hit, bite, run when I came at her and then laugh, bang her head on the floor when told no, and now she screams and has tantrums!

I have found that the best thing to do is distract or ignore as at this age they have no sense that what they are doing is 'wrong'. They do it to get your attention and even if it is saying 'no' they find it funny and will keep doing it to get the reaction out of you. Cause and effect sort of thing...

When my DD would hit I would put her down and walk away. When she would get into something I didn't want her in I would guide her away, hand her a book and then walk away. I would then give her my attention a few min later so she would not think that her bad behaviour was awarded with my attention. But having watched my DD I figured she always gets into trouble when she wants time with me or DH...so we always try to make a lot of one on one time and I have to say...she no longer bites or laughs at me. She does hit sometimes but it is rare. When I tell her she can't have something she will now throw herself on the floor and scream but this is totally ignored and she has stopped doing it as often.

Distract and give lots of attention so they won't find ways to get it

Like right now DD is sitting behind me flipping the electric switch for the laptop lol so I better go spend some time with her lol

Original poster

twinmam · 08/04/2009 16:22

Unfortunately one to one attention isn't an option unless DH here! Same goes for lots of attention tho mumsnetting def won't help, lol. Luckily they are playing with their Grandma at the mo Def see what you're saying about the continuing because my reaction is funny though - that def seems to be the case for DD1 tho DD2 responds v well to 'no' but has MAJOR tantrums when she doesn't get her own way, sometimes distractable and other times not! The main difficulty is them being at opposite sides of the room, both doing stuff I don't want them to and then I'm running between them, moving them on, distracting but then causing fights because they both want the very interesting thing that mummy is showing them, etc. Likewise if I am interrupting a pushing match, who do I distract, who do I move, etc. Perhaps I should get 2 cages for them. Or a cattle prod...!!

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emmabemmasmom · 08/04/2009 16:59

Lol As I do not have twins myself, it is hard for me to imagine but boy I am sure you have your hands full but it sounds like you are doing the right things. They will grow out of it. In the pushing match situation I would seperate...and maybe put them in their high chairs with some crayons and paper? That would take their minds off thier issues and let them have some space. You could sit and colour with them giving them that attention.

I would really just say do what works best for you. Read as many books as you can so you can see that you are not alone, they are totally normal and most importantly that you are doing everything you can...cause I am sure you are!

And even though I try my best there are days I wish I had a cattle prod too lol

allthetwinklystars · 08/04/2009 17:12

I had a ligthbulb moment when I read somewhere that you either remove them from the situation or the thing from them. It sends a message loud and clear. Good luck with your dds!

kitkatqueen · 08/04/2009 17:22

Hiya I have a 15mnth old (DS No 3) and I have found I get the best reaction from him if I raise my eyebrows and say "No Thankyou" quietly and firmly If he doesn't stop I remove him turn him round and say " go and do somthing else"

For hitting removal and has to hug better ( generally gives kisses too but that is all his idea )

Good luck with 2!!!!

Original poster

twinmam · 08/04/2009 18:00

Thanks everyone. I love the highchair crayoning idea (altho being strapped in highchair does sometimes set off a tantrum in demon daughter no. 2!! It's nice to know this is normal behaiour tho and that I'm not doing anything wrong!

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Original poster

twinmam · 08/04/2009 18:02

PS Any recommendations for crayons that are suitable for 14 month-olds? We haven't tried crayoning so far largely because I just assumed they'd eat them!!

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emmabemmasmom · 08/04/2009 18:06

You can get Crayola Magic Markers as they are non-toxic and only mark on the special paper so you don't have to worry if they are not in the highchair because they can't mark on walls/furniture/faces...

I use Crayola crayons as they are all also non-toxic but I do always watch and still have to tell my DD to not put it in her mouth sometimes but I never ever let her free with crayons lol Maybe I am anal but I don't want to be scrubbing walls! Not yet atleast...

emmabemmasmom · 08/04/2009 18:07

Also I would get jumbo crayons which I find better for little hands and that way they don't snap into little pieces either so I would get the big fat ones rather than usual skinny ones...if that makes sense?

Original poster

twinmam · 08/04/2009 18:17

It does indeed make sense - thank you!

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kitkatqueen · 08/04/2009 19:44

Even with my older children ( 3 & 5) we have a crayons on the table rule ( sometimes temptation is just too much!!), from 1 yr I also use a highchair.

Original poster

twinmam · 09/04/2009 09:37

Am off to buy crayons today! Thanks for good ideas

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