Nursery problems with my 4yr old DS

[RollOnTheHols]

Hi there, I was after a some advice on a few problems my son has been having at our school nursery. He is 4yrs old and started the nursery in January this year, where all the other children have been together since they were three. I think he is currently the 'new kid'. This week he has become very angry at nursery to the point where he has hit out at another child . I have been discussing this with him this evening before going to bed (have tried on more that one occaision to get to the bottom of this) and tonight he has told me that 'nobody likes me', 'nobody wants to be my friend' and 'the naughty boys are nasty to me'. I don't know whether this is serious or not? Or if it is something that will just pass with time? I don't know what to do to help him? I feel as though I want to discuss this with his teacher, but I don't want her to think that I'm being pathetic and trying to cover up my sons behaviour at school, as obviously hitting other children is a big no no (I have told him this). Also, Easter hols are coming up - should I wait to see if there is any change when he goes back? Any advice would be greatly received. Thanks.

My ds has been at nursery since he was 6 months old (he is now 4) and even now has days like this. I think the dcs get to the age when they fall in and out of friendships at the drop of a hat. It is going to be difficult for your ds initially I guess if the others all know each other - I imagine my ds will have the same problem in September when he starts school as all the children will have been to pre-school together for a year! How about arranging a few play dates in the safety/security of his own home over the holidays with a couple of the children so he has some friends when he goes back next term. One on one may be easier for him to cope with to start with!

I will probably be posting the same thing in September when ds starts at school

Thanks Bodiddly - I have arranged one play date with a little boy that my DS likes. My daughter aged 5 can be in a out of friendships too, so thats why I am questioning how serious this is? But if he is so angry at nursery, I can't see anyone wanting to be his friend!!! I have said to him tonight don't get cross, stay calm, tell the teacher if someone is mean. I am hoping that will help him a little and if he doesn't react so badly . Maybe he's just ready for a holiday?? If it carries on next term, I think I may have to go in??? I haven't had to do this before! Can you tell??!!!

I dread having all this to come - ds is a pfb so I dont really have a clue how these things work. Little ones are cruel to one another but almightily resilient so I am sure he will be fine!

I would have a word with the nursery staff now - they should be helping to settle him in with the other children, regardless of how long the others have been there. They can then monitor it and give you feedback.

It could be that he is a very bright child and they maybe aren't challenging him enough too - I have this with my own son at the moment, staff are having to think 'outside the box' to keep him engaged and it's not working so we have lots of bad behaviour from a previously happy, contented child. Happily, we are changing schools in September, so hopefully things will improve. good luck.