Hello, this could be slightly long so please bear with me but would love some words of wisdom.
Background: DS recently turned 3. DH and I both work full time and DS goes to a lovely local nursery where he has always been very happy. He is currently waiting for space to become available in the pre-school section of his nursery so is now doing pre-school type activities with his usual key-worker and other children from his nursery room in a room adjacent to the nursery room he has been in since age 2.
I am expecting DC2 in early August.
The problem: recently, DS wants to turn every little thing into a battle of wills, e.g. "10 more minutes play and then it's bath time" - "I don't want a bath" with lots of (usually exaggerated) grizzling. Most of the time we can usually jolly him out of it or negotiate so that he gets a little bit of what he wants in return for doing what we want him to do. But this week the real flash point has been getting him to nursery without some of this kind of drama and as a result we've been leaving the house later and later. I work at a uni and the students are on vacation so I've not had to be so strict about what time I leave the house, but it is getting out of hand. Also, yesterday apparently he was a bit out of sorts at nursery, a bit prone to bursting into tears which is very out of character.
So this morning he went into melt down when I told him it was time to turn off the TV and go to nursery, and DH got fed up and spoke to him quite sharply that this nonsense was just not on and he had to do as he was told. We got him out of the house and then as we were getting in the car he started with "I want my red coat". Well it's his winter coat, it's a gorgeous day here and he'd already chosen his Thomas the Tank fleece jumper, so we said no, its too warm, you don't need it and we're not going back to the house now. Total meltdown, kicking and screaming in the car all the way to nursery, real hysterical hiccuppy crying "I don't want to go to nursery". I just burst into tears when I handed him over to the nurses - who were brilliant and instantly wisked him away to comfort and distract him. They called later to say he was absolutely fine, we talked about it and they told me he sees the coat as a bit of a security blanket, which I didn't know because he usually refuses to wear it unless it is really very cold or raining.
So I feel really rotten now, wonder if we should have given in for the sake of a stupid coat, but also don't want to keep giving in to him over things because like I say, he is making everything into a battle at the moment. Also wondering if he is getting anxious about the new baby on the way. All he really seems to understand is that mummy has a baby in her tummy, but maybe there is more to it as he has also been quite clingy lately.
So lovely MNetters please help me feel like I'm not a horrible cruel dragon mummy and have you got any advice for preparing for a new sibling? Thanks if you've read this far!