How did you teach your LOs to use a spoon/fork themselves?

[bondgirl77]

My DS is 16 months old and I'm ashamed to say he cannot use a spoon yet. I still spoon feed him most meals or he shovels it in with his hands. I know I need to bite the bullet and teach him to do it himself but the idea of cleaning up the mess when I work nearly full time and also look after my DH who is disabled just about saps my energy just thinking about it!! Basically we have reached the stage where if I put something of the right texture like shepherd's pie onto a spoon and leave it in the bowl he can pick this up and put it in his mouth. Or if I put fromage frais or yogurt onto a spoon and give it to him he can just about get it in his mouth before it falls off. But I wouldn't like to hazard this with cereal and milk or something like soup, he just wouldn't have the co-ordination. How do you progress from the level he's at to the level that they will hold a spoon themselves and dig it into the food and lift it to their mouths?? Is it worth going cold turkey and literally putting a bowl of food with a spoon in it and leaving him to it?? Any tips greatly appreciated.

I really wouldn't worry ay this age. There is plenty of time for teaching him table manners when he's older. The most important thing for you to do now is to eat your meals with him so he can watch how you eat. Babies are great mimics. Yes, give him a spoon so he can get used to handling it and dvelop his coordination but I wouldn't stress about him using it just yet. Let him use his hands to eat and just relax.

Also you need to allow for some mess. children need to learn how to master basic skills before they can develop them even further and become tidy eaters. Children are naturally messy people. Not just when they are eating!

I used to spoonfeed DS mostly, but used to give him a spoon to use as well. Most of the time he'd eat off my spoon, but play with his. After a while the balance changed and he was mostly feeding himself.

He has learned how to use a knife and fork from watching us eat, I think, as I've never shown him how to use a knife, he just can. Do you eat together?

I think a lot depends on how messy you are prepared for him to get. I don't care how messy he gets, and laughed watching him eat soup yesterday. A lot of the soup went over his t-shirt, trousers, face, table and floor. But, he fed himself, enjoyed it and I got to drink my tea. He is 2.5 now, but has been eating soup in this way for a long time. His grandparents think I am an appalling slattern for letting him get so messy, and hover around with wipes and all sorts when he eats at their house.

Smallish pot, something fairly easy (and not too runny or slippery) like yoghurt put spoon in pot, his hand on the pot and see how you go. Yes, he'll get it all over his face and front (pelican bibs are great at this age) but some of it will go in - and more next time....

Don't be ashamed. I think little pots of fromage frais or yoghurt were the first things my ds managed to self feed with a spoon. You should find that anything sweet makes less mess than savoury - they tend to be keener to get it on target!

Unfortunately a certain amount of mess is inevitable I think.

Yoghurt is nice and easy to wipe up. Porridge is a bugger though - if you miss a bit it sets like cement.

Oooooh, looking back, I think I used to give ds a spoon every meal-time (younger that yours I think), and then I'd spoon feed him, but give lots of encouragement for him to do it himself. Tons of praise when he tries (even if he misses).

I seem to remember that it helps if you get a little slow at delivery, esp if he's hungry or it's something he particularly likes, more incentive for him to feed himself.

And yes it will be messy. personally I'd pour yogurt into a heavier dish (do they still make the ones that stick to the table/highchair try?), cos otherwise the pot will get waved around a lot.

DS is 2 and "Mummy do it" is becoming a favourite phrase at mealtimes!

Still, he does seem to be able to weild a fork with surprising dexterity when he wants to - ie the rare occasion I give him eggy bread with ketchup on! - so I'm not too worried.

Just keep sticking with giving DS a spoon and or fork at mealtimes and sooner or later the desire to feed himself will take over...at least that's what I'm hoping!

I think if you really don't feel up to dealing with extra mess atm, there's no reason why you shouldn't focus on finger food for now for the most part and let him get good at using a spoon later when his motor skills are more developed. It doesn't matter if he learns a little bit later than other kids - he'll get there in the end.

I just gave my DCs the option of using a fork or a spoon. Sometimes they used their fingers sometimes they tried to use the cutlery. Over time, they would just use the cutlery more and more. But fingers are still a good tool!

I mean I just used to put the cutlery there on the table for them to take if they wanted. I never actually taught them anything apart from their watching me use cutlery for my meal.

Sitting outside at the moment and thinking that at weekends you could do it outside?

That would save on the mess!

DD got the hang of it with weetabix - very sticky and sticks to the spoon - but as someone has said if it gets anywere it is a bastard to clean up as it sets rock hard.

We just had one spoon for her and one for us and she would "join in".

My DD is 14mths the last week or so has been starting to use a fork.

She much prefers finger foody things then the natural progression was to use fork to pick food up iyswim.

I help put food on and she gets it to mouth but the last couple of days she is starting to stab at food herself

But when she is really hungry she just rams food in with fists

Thanks everyone! Some great suggestions there, I will try today as day off work so more time to clear up. And also, yes I think I will just relax about it - I'm sure he will do it when he's ready, I suppose as long as he's getting the food in his mouth himself it doesn't really matter too much at this stage whether it is by hand or spoon/fork!

Same as Simpson. 14mths DD has in the last fortnight decided that she doesn't want me to feed her anything. She also much prefers finger foods but now she has to eat her own Weetabix, yogurt, porridge etc. She doesn't use a fork yet but loves her spoon but upside down so everything falls off it she's not quick enough but she's not bad at it. She won't let me have a second spoon though

Mealtimes are very very slow....

We have 15mo old twin boys and for the past couple of months, the independence has seriously kicked in. They have always had finger food and been also fed by me, depending on what's on the menu, but recently it's either spoons in chubby, determined little fists or no spoons at all.... They are doing quite well must say, if the consistency of the food is right, even the upside-down spoon delivers 9 out of 10 times. When the big hunger has been satisfied though, that's when the mess playing starts....
Fabulous little boys they are....[beams in a very proud Mummy sort of way]