Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Bum wiping!!

11 replies

fadingfast · 31/03/2009 22:45

PLEASE will someone tell me how I can persuade DS (4.5) to wipe his own bottom? He will have a 'go' ie. vaguely waft a couple of pieces of paper in the general area, but there is always poo left and he just doesn't seem to want to keep trying. He always calls one of us in to finish the job off.

We are having issues with him going to the loo at nursery and having no-one to help him, so he comes home with a pooey (and sore) bum. I've raised it with the nursery a couple of times but to no avail (grrr).

My real concern is that when he starts at school in September it still won't be sorted. We keep trying to gently encourage him to have another go but he tends to dig his heels in and say he can't (he tends to be like this about a lot of new skills). I don't think pushing him any more would help but I just don't know how to tackle this so any tips would be much appreciated!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ABetaDad · 31/03/2009 22:54

We found that giving our DS1 very precise instructions helped at that age.

Roll off a length of roll equal to 5 sheets.

2.Fold in half and half again.

Wipe bottom where hole is (we wiped for him in the right place so he knew where it was).

Repeat above 4 times.

Pull trousers up and wash hands.

We sat with him while he practiced for himself and he liked us to be there so we could checked it was OK and then be praised. He liked the routine and the order of doing it in a precise way.

On the other DS2 did it all on his own with no trouble after working out his own routine.

sazm · 31/03/2009 22:59

we are having the same prob at the moment,with our ds (4.9y) we bought the kandoo wipes (and now refill the fancy tub with the tesco own make ones lol) and ds uses them well,
only thing is obv they dont have them at school,but at least he likes the wipes and uses them well lol,and he seems to manage fine when we are out now,
good luck xx

Original poster

fadingfast · 31/03/2009 23:04

yes perhaps we do need to be a bit more precise about our instructions, ABetaDad. You must get though a lot of paper! I think we originally told him to try 3 times but I don't think he is very accurate and most of the time needs a lot more. We have tended to leave him to it but we could try staying with him.

Thank you

OP posts:

ScottishThistle · 31/03/2009 23:19

As ABetaDad says, toilet skills generally need a bit of policing especially with boys.

A lot of praise for doing it well. I kept baby wipes in the loo (with lidded bin) until my charges mastered proper bottom wiping!

ABetaDad · 01/04/2009 08:15

I suspect girls are better than boys and certainly DS1 is the 'boy' and DS2 is the 'girl' when it come to this issue.

smee · 01/04/2009 11:02

The nursery won't help him - really? Seems a bit harsh. DS is still reluctant too, but he can do it. I think a bit of a sore bum from time to time's a good thing as it makes him try harder. But then I'm a bit mean...

screamingabdab · 01/04/2009 17:22

I find using wet toilet tissues at home helps.

Also, once they have settled into a routine, a lot of kids don't do a poo at school (just like a lot of adults don't go at work!). Mine rush in from school (sometimes with friends too) and go and do a poo. Loverly

Original poster

fadingfast · 01/04/2009 19:42

How very true. The thought of doing a poo at work fills me with horror , although at present DS seems pretty much happy to go anywhere. I have raised the issue AGAIN with nursery (new staff) and they have promised to look out for it. I think if they know they are happy to help, even though DS says they are 'too busy'.

We are encouraging him to use more paper, and I'm sure he will love counting out all the sheets, so hopefully that will help.

OP posts:

asteamedpoater · 01/04/2009 21:15

Hi, fadingfast,

I had exactly the same problem with my ds1. He is now just 5 and has only in the last couple of weeks started really successfully wiping his bottom. Part of the problem, apart from a natural fear he would get poo on his hands so not really trying very hard, was the whole working out how to balance on the toilet so that he could reach the right area with his buttock cheeks open, so to speak!!!! If he stood up, he couldn't get good access, and if he sat down, it was hard for him to tip himself up so that he could get a hand in behind him without getting scared he would fall off the toilet... He didn't like trying with his hand coming in from the front (which is OK to do for boys, but not for girls) and if he tried to go in from the back, he could only actually reach if he went in from the side and then tended to wipe up to the side, which makes a real mess because if you don't wipe along your crack, you don't know where the poo will go... Basically, he made it look so tricky, even I began to think this was a pretty difficult skill to master! However, after lots of telling him to start right up in front of the hole - eg to touch his testicles - and then wipe right back along the crack (yes, this is getting quite revolting) until he almost reached his backbone, he finally started to get the idea of which way to wipe. We then encouraged him to wipe harder, so that he could really feel the paper pressing in. And the final success came when we took away the small toilet seat he was still using, so that he was sitting on an adult toilet (keeps the buttocks apart much better and makes it easier to throw the dirty paper away afterwards!!!!!) with his feet resting on the step he uses to reach the sink in our bathroom. He can now rest his feet on the step as he leans forwards slightly to wipe and we now have a 100% success rate, however much poo he needs to wipe off!!! I never thought we'd need to go into this much detail to get him to wipe his own bottom, but I guess sometimes you just have to...

Original poster

fadingfast · 01/04/2009 22:00

Thank you asteamedpoater, for your graphic descriptions! I don't think we have given him enough detail, only to try about 3 times but to keep wiping until there is no poo! I agree the mechanics are a bit tricky when perched on the loo. And I think we need to be a bit more precise about how much paper to use.

OP posts:

DesperateHousewifeToo · 01/04/2009 22:19

I think a bit of poo left behind should not be too much of a problem if they are having a bath at the end of the day.

We eventually had to step back and encourage ds to just get on with it without too much reliance on us (he was always keen for us to keep doing it but I could imagine us still doing it when he was 18yrs, lol). Expect an imperfect wipe but it will get better.

If there is soreness, use some sudocrem after bath in the evening and put another protective layer of cream on again before nursery in the morning.

We were much less hands on much earlier with dd (our ignored second child) and she is so much more independant at the same age (barely 4yrs).

Flip