Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Sudden changes with my 10 1/2 month old... don't know what to do!

5 replies

almarama · 31/03/2009 17:09

My baby boy is 10 1/2 months old now. Up until his 9th month he was the most sociable kid on the planet! Everyone commented on how friendly he was. I could leave him with anyone and he would be fine. He'd sleep on anyone's lap too - my aunt, my friend, a new friend, anyone! He also slept really well, from 7pm to 7am, and fed really well.

Then, one day things changed. He cried every time I left the room - not just normal crying, but SCREAMING. It was really odd and very unexpected and sudden. He now does the same thing when his uncle, who he sees frequently, holds him. He's still fine with his grandparents though. He's so unfriendly to new faces (or previously familiar faces even), and becoming almost unsociable. Normally, he finds other babies and toddlers quite funny and will laugh at them. Today however, during a shopping trip to Sainsbury's, he started 'scream-crying' when another toddler was laughing and smiling at him. Normally, this would've been the highlight of my baby's day!

So in addition to the 'antisocial' behaviour, he no longer sleeps well either, despite my controlling his day naps (brought down from 3 hours to 1 1/2 hours now) and keeping him more active, so that he's that much more tired at night. He now wakes up in the middle the night, for no reason, and doesn't want to go back to sleep for hours.

This new behaviour is also affecting his feeding, and he doesn't eat as much as he used to either. He normally GULPS his morning milk in 5 minutes. Now, I struggle to get 100ml into him upon waking up. I have to do it in stages. He has the first few sips at 7am, and then another few sips at 7.15, and so on... by 8.30, he'd have had his whole bottle. He doesn't like having his lunch either, and will only really have dinner. And all this time I think "aren't you hungry??"

I thought at first he might be in pain from teething... but calpol still didn't do the trick. I don't know what the sudden change is in my beautiful baby boy. I was one of those mothers that many others envied for having such an 'easy baby'... now I'm too scared to leave the flat in case he causes a scene in public and I don't know what to do.

I've even tried contacting Parent Helpline, and all they could tell me was to be patient, and that I, as his mother should know what the right thing is. But the truth is, I don't! I'm so stressed and frustrated and haven't been getting any sleep and my baby is always crying and being difficult. I don't know what to do! The ONLY thing that makes him happy and calms him down, is sitting on my lap or being carried... well, sometimes I need to go to the toilet! Ha! That's enough for him to scream! (even after having sat with him or played with him for an hour or 2!) He always used to play on his own (with me in the room of course) and he was always happy being with himself. Now, this new REALLY clingy phase for the past 2 months, is really worrying me. Is it possible for babies to go from being happy and independent to clingy and always miserable?!

Oh and I have put him in a creche to get him used to being sociable... after 10 visits, he still wouldn't settle. I'm now going to attempt putting him at a Montessori Nursery once a week. I also meet other mums during the week with their babies, so he is in a 'sociable' environment. So I am really confused about his behaviour and becoming worried. Should I seek professional help?!

If anyone has been through anything similar, I'd appreciate the input. Sorry for the long message but wanted to give as full a picture as possible. THANKS!!!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FattipuffsandThinnifers · 31/03/2009 17:21

It sounds like your basic separation anxiety to me - totally classic for it to be around this age.

Also stranger anxiety (ie realising who they know and who they don't) is around this age. Totally normal.

As for what to do, um, I'm afraid I don't have much to offer. Ds is still a bit like this and he's 23 months! Your ds might get over it quicker though Don't change anything, just give him reassurance that you're coming back if you leave the room etc.

madwomanintheattic · 31/03/2009 17:23

separation anxiety? most babies go through this stage around about then i think... not sure it's linked with the feeding tbh - probably two different things and again a different 'stage' (rofl, i sound like my mother) as he's at that point with weaning etc?
i don't think any professional help is required tbh - he sounds quite normal. it is hard though, but the separation thing will pass - honestly...

Maria2007 · 12/04/2009 10:19

I agree that this sounds like separation anxiety. I would only seek some professional help if this persists & it's distressing you. There are interesting things to do with babies- like parent / infant groups (where psychologists / child therapists can observe & help) but I would only do something like that if this persists. Even if it persists it doesn't mean it's not 'normal' as there's no such thing as completely 'normal' when it comes to babies; they change so quickly... very soon I expect you'll be in a completely different stage!

Just one thought (might not be helpful though). You mention you've cut down his napping time during the day quite radically. I think 1 and a half hour napping (all in all, if I understand correctly) is not enough for a 10 month old. He should be getting at least 2 or even 2 and a half hours. So maybe some of this is overtiredness? And it could also be affecting his night-sleep, and also perhaps his eating. Anyway, as I said, just a thought...

noavailablename · 12/04/2009 10:25

He sounds normal.

It is a normal phase - he is becoming aware of himself as a separate individual.

TBH though, I think cutting down his sleep will make him much worse - overtiredness really affects the sleep pattern for the worse.

Also - if you don't HAVE to put him in a creche, don't. IMO that will only make him more anxious and insecure. Obviously, if you have to put him in nursery because you have to work, that is different, but IME 10 months isn't a good age to do it.

Everything is a phase, and it will pass. It just seems like forever when you are going through it.

keels26 · 12/04/2009 11:47

Sounds like seperation anxiety. My DD went through it about this age, used to find myself running past doorways so she wouldnt see me and cry for me! Im sure he will grow out of it when he realises you come back to him, heard that playing boo helps.
My DD is shy around strangers, she also cries at family members who she doesnt no very well. I just reassure her and let her be with me or DH until she feels comfortable to get down and see them. She still cries at adults if they go too close to her pushchair sometimes and other times shes ok, shes just shy I think and feels vulnerable if strangers come too close.
Can your DS walk yet? I have found that my DD is better now she can walk, basically because she can take herself away from situations she feels uncomfortable with.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page