rudeness from 5yo - how do you handle it (positively if poss)

[babydriver]

Any thoughts folks on how to help with rudeness? I know that 5yo boys aren't going to be perfect, but I'm totally at the end of my tether with "disgusting poopoo stinky wee" being bandied about at every available opportunity. I've tried ignoring, asking him if he needs to go to the bathroom, stating that I don't talk to him like that and don't expect him to do it to me and, frankly, losing it and shouting at him.

I try and use positive discipline, which I've found really helpful in lots of other situations, but am at a loss here. I know it's just a phase but I really want to end it quickly. Any suggestions?

they all do it. trust me. it will pass.
I have told ds1 that I don't like him saying things like that, and that it is not nice to be rude, and that I will ignore him if he says things like that (which I do)
then it's just a case of holding out until it's over.

I join in

No seriously, I pretty much just ignore it. DD joins in so it can go on for a long time in this house.

If they want something from me when they are in this silly mood, I wait until they've asked me without a toilet word in the sentence.
Also, it's not allowed at the table if other people are eating.

Just to reinforce what they already know - it's ok between themselves and peers but not to interact with adults.

I sympathise, and agree with the others carry on with the ignoring, it will work eventually.

I turn my back on my ds when he starts doing this, and when he wants something, pretty much do the same as Otherside of the channel and keep repeating myself until I get an answer without anything lavatorial.

He has answered to adults in reply to what he likes best at school "going to the toilet." This was at Christmas, but since then he seems to be getting better.

His other trick is doing moonies all over the place Luckily he hasn't done this in front of my in-laws (yet).

I just say in a deadpan voice "very nice, dear" and walk away.

Message withdrawn

i use the eyebrow. just the one. and stand very quietly and still. and wait. sometimes it's days before they notice....

I tend to join in but mine aren't too obsessed

"Yes would you like a glass of WEE? Shall I wee in this glass for you TO DRINK? Shall I MIX IT WITH POO and stir it round?"

Alternatively I might say "I don't want to hear that in this room please. Go and say it in the garden/in your room ONLY. SHOO AWAY"

I ignore all this stuff - the more you intervene the more fun it is. Mind you, I have a 13 year old and an 8 year old and they greet each other "Hello smell" and "Hello poo-head" - so maybe ignoring didn't work too well!

at madwoman. I know how you feel!

heh @ mp

I do that too, I can outdo them every time but now at 9 she knows there is a time and a place

And why any manufacturer would name a product attractive to little boys a "Wii" I have no idea. Cue my ds's hysterical mirth when he realized that he had to stop playing on the Wii for a while because he needed a poo.......!

I use a FAB tip that I found in "Playful Parenting". When they say bum/poo/wee or whatever, looking for a reaction, you say "Hmm, I see you know that word. But whatever you do, NEVER let me catch you saying 'Huffle-puffle-blah-blah' [or any made-up word you can think of]."

They IMMEDIATELY start chanting the made-up word and forget the "real" words.

This worked perfectly on DS1 and his friends, and nobody ever swears at me anymore. Bliss!

I am so relieved to read all this.
Alternative (wholesome)burlesque, silly dancing, comic turns from mum sometimes diverts?
Captain Underpants puts it all in perspective, it is very sophisticated.

For moonies, I usually find 'what a cute bottom, I could just kiss it' gets DS to pull his pants up and run off laughing.

lol I do that

Or I have mooned back and rubbed arses

madwomanintheattic that is fantastic.
An eyebrow can be SO understated can it not.

Thanks! Sounds like ignoring and tactical eyebrow deployment should help me out. And thanks for the reassurance that it will pass... only to be replaced by moonies and other delights!

I dont ignore
I say No dont say it

why is that hard?

Because some parents don't want to be saying 'no don't say it' all the time and some 5 yr old boys say 'poo' etc very frequently.

I don't say no because I don't really see why they can't say "poo" a lot if it amuses them.

What I do go on about is "appropriateness" - the concept of "It's not what you way it's where you say it"

For example, mine could say "poo" in front of one of their grandmas but if they said it in front of the other one the world would shift on it's axis. At home is one thing - at school is another. With friends of the same age is OK - in front of very little ones - not OK. That sort of thing. More useful than a blanket "NO!"

If that works for you Judith, fair enough. We can say no, don't do it, and the child will go on and on. Ignoring does work if used consistently, my ds talks about poo etc much less since I've been doing this.

Surely this sort of talk is 'silly' rather than 'rude'.

I'd go along with seeker regarding 'appropriateness' and really would just ignore these silly comments when said at home. TBH it doesn't really bother me, I would think DS was just being typical little boy.

Wouldn't want such comments in public though.

I'm of the MP school of parenting, I often join in too! Much for fun for ds to be falling about laughing that to be told off all the time

Again with moonies, like otherside, DS will run screaming and pulling pants up when the 'bottom biter' is coming....

I think it's all just silliness and kids being kids and no need to make heavy weather of it

Though of course it helps if the child has an understanding that there's a time and a place; perhaps it depends on their social awareness/ability to 'edit' themselves according to situation. DS has not done any of this stuff in front of people who would mind. Seems to know by osmosis. More difficult if they dont.

Interesting discussion. I know that what I'm getting from DS1 is just normal behaviour and so I don't want to make a big deal of it(which is why I tried ignoring first off). But I do think there's something in the appropriate time/place thing - and to some extent what DS's intent is - and that DS needs to know what's acceptable and what's not. I just found that neither ignoring, nor endlessly picking him up on it, seemed to make any difference so it's useful to get others' views. Sounds like we might have a bit of a family meeting and talk about what's acceptable where and use that to guide ignoring or otherwise. Will come in handy later for the inevitable swearwords conversation which I can't believe I haven't had to have yet!