DS1 doesn't want to play with DS2 while his friends are around

[fartmeistergeneral]

I know this sounds a bit trivial and perfectly normal (who wants a pesky little bruv around?) but I feel so sad for DS2. They have always played together and gone around with each others friends (10 and 8 now) but in the last few weeks DS1 doesn't want DS2 to go with him if he's off to his friends' houses. I can perfectly understand this, but it seems weird to have DS2 in the house kicking his heels while his brother is off playing games he also loves and generally enjoying himself.

DS2 is at an age where his friends come round and they all chum about here there and everywhere, but DS2 is still young enough that having friends round is an organised thing, he has 2 good friends, but they seem to have activities after school most days. DS2 does have a couple of activities, but they are later on.

I can see from both points of view but not sure how to handle it. DS2 ends up in tears and DS1 ends up shouting at him to go away etc.

my mates with older kids seem to handle this by organising things for the younger one to do eg invite one of his school mates round when the older one is busy

i think it sounds normal and its important that the older one gets to bond properly with his mates, who he may go to secondary school with etc

I sympathise with both too but I think ds2 is just going to have to get used to it and find ways to have fun on his own, tbh. Every kid needs their own space with their own friends, I guess.

I think your DS2 has to learn to live with it. After all, they aren't going to live in the same house and play together all the time all their lives.

I know, this is my opinion too. DS1 needs time with his own friends. Just such a sudden change - boys who DS2 was playing with every day suddenly don't want him there any more! Sob! Dreading summer hols - they all used to play in a group! They are very close really, always liked the same things etc. Such is life being the little one!

could you look into any holiday clubs you could possibly sign ds2 up with he could meet new friends and will occupy his time away from his brother

you could also make sure you have a one day to do something together which is fun and then ds1 still gets to be with his friends unfortunately this is what happens i remember this as a kid but helped when i had other things to do mum and dad used to send us to clubs and we met new friends and was more fun to be around each other when we were together as wasn't so needy

I think that is a normal situation. I feel as if it's a bonus if two of my DC have friends in the same family and can all play together. At that age 2 yrs is a huge difference. My 12yr old and his mates love to have DS#2 with them - the age gap is big enough for them to like to tease him and humour him, but DD and her mates find him annoying.

It might seem sad now but he will have his own friends soon enough.