Can anyone help with my 2.4yo DD disturbing behavior

[CrushWithEyeliner]

Over the last 2 weeks DD has become increasingly insecure. She is wanting cuddles constantly, will not participate in her music groups anymore (before she was the first one up doing all the actions etc...) is not eating her meals - a few spoonfuls at most and is waking in the night and literally cuddling me constantly all night in bed.

She has been unwell and had a bit of a bad accident (unhurt) and off nursery (2 mornings), that is all I can think it may be a coincidence, but the change in her behaviour is really marked. She is refusing to do most things - sit at the table, get dressed, shouting at me for not getting things quickly enough, not concentrating on her toys, and obsessing on the most intricate things - she wants me to rewind certain DVD again and again and screams when I say enough.

I have been going into myself and ignoring but it isn't working at all and I just feel like I want to cry. DH says try star charts as bribery and distraction seem to be the only things that work, but I don't know where to start or if this is right. I don't do naughty steps because I don't agree at all and think it is daft. Are there any books or techniques anyone can recommend? TIA x

Just a thought, Could she be teething and getting her last few back teeth. Are her verbal skills good, can she tell you what is the matter? My DS has been out of sorts for the last few weeks and keeps telling me his teeth are hurting.

My DS is the same age. Usually he is lovely. However, we have had massive fights recently - him wanting drink / not wanting supper / not wanting nappy changed / wanting nappy changed while standing up / wanting toys that DS1 is playing with.

We don't take (much) nonsense. He does go on the naughty step, and usually by the time his 2 mins are up, he is saying, "Mummy I want to say sorry," and usually there is an improvement in behaviour.

If you don't agree, sorry but I don't have much to suggest.

Did she have extra fussing when she was unwell? It could be that she is still craving the attention and is still feeling a bit under the weather.

My friends DD had pneumonia at about the same age as your DD, even when she was better she went through a similar 'transition' stage as your DD, clingy, confidence a bit off. I guess just keep being evenly firm and plenty of affection but dont start any 'routines' you wouldnt want to keep going.

Keep a watchful eye on her health, early nights, a bit of iron tonic (I use Floradix on DS when he is tired and tetchy) plus some good quality fish oils. She'll bounce back I'm sure.

Perhaps some fish oils and iron tonic for yourself aswell! We often forget this might help US take the strain.

Thank you all for your advice - I have talked to nursery today who say she was fantastic there this morn so I suspect this behavior is linked to her relationship with me as I suspected.

Yes she is v verbal but does not seem to be in any pain - she got her back teeth v early at 23m. It could just be emotions and "growing up" as my DH says lol

They go through these 'phases' seemingly for no reason at all.

my ds2 (2.8) has little phases like this, recently he started to get really upset going to bed, when before he would go no problem, all of a sudden he would be hysterical because i would say goodnight and leave, he became very clingy and cried going to nursery, became hysterical when his daddy came to pick him up at weekends also went off his food, and became fussy about everything, wouldnt get a bath because he didnt want to take his socks off became obsessive about a tiny scratch on his foot and had to have a plaster, even though it had healed up ages ago

Anyway, i just ignored as much as possible and tried to stick to his usual routine, am glad to say he is over it now, and we are back to normal, laid back toddler bliss, that is until the next funny phas he decides to go through

When my LO is like that it usually means he's coming down with something, and it can sometimes build up over weeks! But the not eating and clingyness and bad temper sounds familiar. My son was like that around Christmas time and it turned out he had a strep infection.
Also even though it seems frustrating and not what you want to do, but I try to make a point of giving him extra cuddles and spending extra time with him, and this seems to work well too. I think somethimes he just needs a bit of reassurance. I don't use naughty step as I don't see the point of setting up an adversarial relationship, I think it's counter productive. However my LO is a real softy so it's possible to do that.

She's 2.4yrs old, the explanation is there ~ turning into a little lady & learning that certain behaviours get certain reactions.

Try not to show too much that it's bothering you and I'm sure in time she'll get through it.

Good luck, personally one of my favourite ages!

Thank you all x