angelic 2.5 DS turned into demon since birth of sister 1 week ago, what to do?

[Gemzooks]

OK not a demon but he has always been a very good child up to now. He is finding it hard since birth of DD on Sunday. I'm really trying to make time with him (at the expense of the poor baby!) and be normal with him and he has loads of attention from his Dad, but he is just being volatile, throwing stuff, hitting us a bit, pulling hair etc. stuff he has NEVER done before. He is very articulate and has started saying stuff like 'Leave me alone' and 'I will talk. You will not talk'.

Any tips? will it pass and how quickly? I feel so bad for him because he's looking pale and unhappy, his whole world has been destroyed!

Poor ds!

And congratulations to you

IME they do go a bit weird with the birth of a sibling. DD1 was 2.8 when DD2 was born and she definitely felt it... toilet regression, being 'naughty' (previously not really a 'naughty' child, more a non-listening one), being a bit too rough with the baby (thinly veiled as affection)

He'll get over it, honestly... it's only been a week. Carry on what you're doing and don't worry about the baby! I used to enjoy the 1-1 time with dd2 once dd1 was in bed

It will pass, honestly.

They all react differently - my DS was finein the day but became a howling banshee at bedtime, though it had never been a problem before.

Soon he won't remember what life was like without his little sister

sympathise. feel for him. ignore as much as you can (though think you need to say 'don't hit me' and walk away) but, honestly, it will pass!

i am big on sharing the baby with big siblings and modelling LOTS of love, and not letting baby cry (too much! occasionaly you have to go and wipe bums etc). dd used to hate hearing ds cry and tell me to pick him up - and i am convinced that she 'understood' that the baby and me were/are linked, we tried to share that she is too. But she was definitely a bit naughty for a couple of weeks, same sort of age (and yes, remember that kind of lost look well ) but it passed SO quickly and they just ADORE each other. She is a lovely, lovely big sister and fingers crossed, we haven't really had any jealousy issues at all...

sympathise. feel for him. ignore as much as you can (though think you need to say 'don't hit me' and walk away) but, honestly, it will pass!

i am big on sharing the baby with big siblings and modelling LOTS of love, and not letting baby cry (too much! occasionaly you have to go and wipe bums etc). dd used to hate hearing ds cry and tell me to pick him up - and i am convinced that she 'understood' that the baby and me were/are linked, we tried to share that she is too. But she was definitely a bit naughty for a couple of weeks, same sort of age (and yes, remember that kind of lost look well ) but it passed SO quickly and they just ADORE each other. She is a lovely, lovely big sister and fingers crossed, we haven't really had any jealousy issues at all...

Yup. Have been there. It will pass. In the meantime try to include him in looking after 'his' baby. Fetching nappies etc.
Bemusement when baby cries went down very well; "Oh look he/she is crying, what shall we do?" puzzled expression.

But yes, Dd1 smacked DD2 in the face when she was justa few weeks old. They are the best of friends two years down the line. Don't worry.

Is he ignoring the baby? (A bit of a blessing in disguise for the 1st few weeks, I would say)

DD1 was completely and utterly in DD2's face from the day she was born. I turned my back on them both literally for 30secs and found dd2 with a bit of banana sticking out of her mouth... at 5 days old, IIRC

agree with smallorange with the 'what should we do?' tactic

lurking here, due in August and my dd will be 2.5yo eeeek

thanks for replies! will take it on board. I do try to involve him and he likes helping, having a bath with her etc, think it's just a question of time, it feels like a massive adjustment for us and we're adults! He has adapted well to things so far in his life. I suppose I'm underlyingly worried about the fact that he saw the birth (water birth so not too graphic), at home, as it was so quick and he could have been sent to a neighbours' but it somehow felt wrong for him to be ousted and he wanted to stay. he was very interested and wanted to see the baby come out, but was upset by me yelling. I've gone over it with him and explained that I yelled for a bit but then felt fine because the baby had come out. oh well...

DS is 3.8 and displaying very similar behaviour("You're not my mummy", "go away", "I'm leaving"...). We're 5 weeks in and it's starting to get better. Interestingly, he's much better when it's just the three of us (DH was on paternity leave and MIL then came to stay and help).

not only have you had a new baby but all the stuff that goes with it, he will see that baby took you away (to hospital) and made you poorly etc....

Like pp said .. really involve him with helping you with her.

Good Luck and congratulations

just to post back... well the last 2 days it's all turned around and DS has been MUCH better, still a bit naughty but basically something has sunk in and he seems to be more or less back to normal. He's also going to kiss the baby and is more interested in what she's doing. So I think we panicked too soon... thanks for the tips, it's not perfect but it's actually amazing that he seems ok with it now and it's only been 8 days!