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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

ds 3.5 poohing in pants

14 replies

breaghsmum · 27/03/2009 16:56

ive mentioned this in a previous thread and it had seemed to be sorted but this past few days ds has started poohing in his pants. i had thought it might just be laziness but yesterday he was actually playing in the bathroom when he did it so there was nothing stopping him just jumping on the loo. ive tried staying calm and just changing him but its still happening today i got so frustrated i told him he was a baby and i would have to put him back in a nappy, he didnt like this and it ended in a screaming match. i cant go on like this, do i punish him when he does it? do i ignore it, say nothing and just change him? do i confiscate toys? has anybody else had this problem. he was previously fully toilet trained since last summer.

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WaitingForVino · 27/03/2009 17:56

this isn't going to help you but just thought I'd put your problem in perpective - my DS is 3 and refuses to use the potty for a pooh at any time. still in nappies. Not for lack of trying - 3 times we've tried and - alas - at least yours isn't THIS bad....

shouldbeironing · 27/03/2009 18:13

I wouldnt punish him. Havent read your previous threads but possibly he cant help it eg constipation could cause this so might be worth checking this out - did it really seem deliberate? Possibly doing it to get attention or maybe he did a poo that hurt or something has put him off the toilet for some reason - its amazing what a little one can pick up on.
If you have ruled out constipation etc (which can lead to temporary loss of control of bowel even if he is no longer constipated) then go back to praise/reassurance/reward systems I would think.

Millarkie · 27/03/2009 18:34

I agree with shouldbeironing, loss of bowel control is often a side-effect of constipation so don't be too quick to tell him off.
My dd has had problems on and off since she was toilet trained and the GP kept telling us it was psychological and to 'tell her to stop it'. We eventually took her to a private gastroenterologist who took an x-ray and diagnosed a malformation of the lower bowel which can be a side effect of previous constipation and causes lack of sensation so she couldn't feel when she was going.
I would guess that either it's a blip and as such best ignored and tolerated until he gets a little bigger or he really can't help it.

I really wish that I hadn't had 3 years of doctors telling me to tell dd off when she couldn't help it

DesperateHousewifeToo · 27/03/2009 18:40

Definitely look into whether it is caused by constipation. Loads of threads on this if search 'pooing', 'soiling', 'encopresis' or constipation - so won't re-write lots of the info in these threads (unless you can't find them)

Either way try not to get angry. If turns out not to be constipation, try to ignore and maybe remind him to go to the loo if he needs to go.

KHS · 27/03/2009 18:47

I'd recommend this book to anyone with children who have poo issues - it worked a treat for us when DS aged 3 had pooed in his pants for 6 months...: www.amazon.co.uk/Hurts-When-Poop-Children-Scared/dp/1433801302

No idea why it's suddenly so expensive - get the paperback if you can. We got it cheap and he still uses it for moral support when pooing on toilet.

Flibbertyjibbet · 27/03/2009 18:54

My pet hate - Pooh on poo threads.

What comes out of your childs bottom is poo.

Pooh is a teddy bear that you read about.

I thank you.

KHS · 27/03/2009 20:19

I am with you, Flibbertyjib.

Oh yes and invest in lots and lots of cheap underpants so you can throw the really disgusting ones away. And nappy bags to put them in when out and about.

Getting angry is really difficult to avoid, but completely useless. It just makes them more stressed about it.

Sticker charts were great for when he got it right, and lots of understanding, chats, cuddles, reading that book... when he didn't. The book's got some very useful advice on foods to avoid that can make kids constipated - bananas for example.

Flibbertyjibbet · 27/03/2009 21:29

Sorry I was so taken up with the teddy bear in your childs pants that I forgot to give a constructive post...

My ds2 poo-ed in his pants for a while after being wee-wee toilet trained.

I don't think for one minute he did it deliberately. I just think that sometimes we know we need a poo but we, er, clench until we are at the toilet. I just don't think small children can control the muscles necessary to stop the poo coming out straight away.

I just bought tons of cheap pants (they have them in a 2nds shop near me, I must have bought a million pairs for 10p each!) and if they get pooed in just bin em.

Don't make a fuss, especially don't punish him. It just sometimes takes a while for a child to master the art of timing the walk to the loo while a poo is on its way.

Flibbertyjibbet · 27/03/2009 21:31

Oh and my friend's daughter would only poo in a nappy - till she was 7. She used to come home from school, ask for a nappy, poo in it and then take it off.

If her mum said no nappy, she would hold it in FOR DAYS.

When I witnessed this I had a 6 week old ds1. You can imagine how judgy I was . Now I just give thanks that my boys have both been ok by about 2.5 for weeing and pooing.

When he does it just say 'oh never mind, next time you can get to the toilet/potty yes?'.

Original poster

breaghsmum · 27/03/2009 22:28

you know i never once considered that this might be physical!!! how dumb am i?? and when i think about it he has just started eating bananas again after not for a few months. thank you all for helping me see that my son isnt doing this because he likes annoying me. tomorrow is a new day, i'll keep reminding him to use the toilet if he 'feels' it. and give him lots of praise if he does. i did stop using rewards for using the toilet when i thought he was quite confident in doing so, would it be a backwards step to start doing that again or is it a good idea? thanks again

OP posts:

Flibbertyjibbet · 27/03/2009 23:16

I found that dinosaur stickers did the trick
Drew some gridlines on a piece of paper, he got to put a dinosaur on the sheet if he did a poo in the loo.
But no punishment or mention of 'no sticker' if he didn't manage it.
Its the only time reward charts worked for my two (think it was the dinosaurs that did it!).
He was clever though, if his poo came out in more than one, er, plop then he wanted multiple stickers and his brother used to stand there shouting 'one, two' etc as he heard the plops! Then he'd TELL me how many stickers ds2 should have.

Ha ha, don't worry in a while you'll look back on this time and laugh about it.

KHS · 27/03/2009 23:46

Not a backwards step at all-two steps forwards, one back, etc - that seems to be how it works. Have fun hunting for dinosaur stickers!

KHS · 27/03/2009 23:48

I will never laugh about poos in pants, though - it's just so not a laughing matter .

Flibbertyjibbet · 28/03/2009 00:27

Oh you will - we used to say 'oh dear never mind' at a pantspoo.
As he started to get better and made it up the stairs to the bathroom we would sometimes hear his little voice say to himself 'oh dear never mind'..

It was ARGGHGHGHGHHG at the time but I do smile about it now.

And his brother counting the plops = stickers, c'mon ladies its worth a turn up at the corner of your mouth surely?

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