How angry would you be with your child if they did this and how would you discipline them, if at all?

[MissScarlett]

I've just had to get the bus home and leave my car behind, because my nearly 4 year old switched on the back seat interior light in my car without me noticing and now the battery is dead. She had been touching it a few days ago, and I'd told her not to because it could break the car.

Yesterday, she ran my empty dishwasher and I found the oven switched on. She regularly pulls all her clothes (and occasionally mine) out of the wardrobe all over the floor, draws on walls, pokes things where they shouldn't go etc etc. I realise I'm describing something which most kids do at some point, but I suppose the problem is the frequency with which these things tend to happen. The stuff she does is, I would say, mildly naughty, it's more the fact that she's never off duty when it comes to getting up to mischief and I'm constantly dealing with the consquences.

She is generally a lovely kid, she's very sweet and seems sorry when I tell her off but will be off looking for the next thing as soon as I'm not actually standing over her.

The question is...I'm wondering if I should step it up a gear in terms of discipline, maybe shout a bit and get more cross? At the moment, I think I might be explaining things a bit too much, 'you shouldn't do this because....' and being a bit too nice about it, and it's not really deterring her. But at the same time, I don't want to be massively telling her off and getting really angry if it's just a phase that she's going to eventually grow out of.

I was actually really angry about the car thing, but I kind of thought, well, she only pressed an interesting-looking button with no real idea about what would happen - but her actions have consequences for me and the rest of the family - all having to troop home on the bus in the rain, having to go back and try to jumpstart the car later on tonight...and this kind of stuff happens all the time - she will often do the same naughty thing over and over again, even though she does know (at nearly four) that it's wrong.

My partner is old-school and thinks that if she got a smack every time she did something like this, she would think twice about it. Both myself and my partner would both have been given a smack by our respective mums as children in this kind of situation. I don't want to smack her though. What do you think?

I havent read every post on this thread, but have you tried positive dicipline?
Instead of saying - DONT draw on walls - Dont press those buttons - DONT do this - DONT do that....
turn it around.....
Drawing is for on paper - DO draw on the paper and we can put those drawings on the fridge etc.... Play with this in the car (some toy thats not the interior light switch for example). She knows what he's not allowed to do, but reinforce what she IS allowed to do.

It works well for us (though I know it doesn't work all the time! - I have the drawings on the doors to prove it - but it helps)

I wouldn't smack but I would give very clear boundries, you don't have to shout but be very firm that certain things are not allowed. Rather like RedonherHead-paper is for drawing on-you can press buttons on x y and z.

MissS, I would get her involved in 'helping' once you have moved. We moved when DD was 5, I got her a pink 'feather' duster and fun bits like that.

She loved helping and you can have some really good positive interactions - ignore that she may not be doing a great (adult) job of unpacking (unbreakables ) or cleaning and constanly praise her efforts and tell her how much help she is being. You get to unpack, she gets to have fun with you and you get to keep your eye on her/keep her out of mischief! Win, Win.

Good luck with the move.

try my four year old , seconds after me explaining to her that shes at an age now where she should be showing her two year old sister that silly things arent such a good idea and can be unsafe at times,to which she fully agreed ,ran off and locked me and luckily her sister with me in the kitchen,which wasnt spontaneous as she had slid a dining room chair through two rooms ,stood on it then reached for the bolt at the top of the door! eventually she unlocked the door and was mortified and devastated to be sent to bed for a dangerous act,only to repeat this with her dad an hour ago but even more seriously she locked her dad on the garden with the security chain her two year old sister was with her and we were all out, her dad has had to kick the chain off the door to get back in the house