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When does sibling rivalry of new baby get easier? Help!

2 replies

hattyyellow · 26/03/2009 09:03

Would really welcome any advice (whilst accepting that there will always be rivalary of some kind between siblings!)

I have twins who are 3.8 and a new daughter who is 3 months. My twins are really battling with accepting why on earth we had this new baby and are displaying lots of behaviour in accordance with this. Fighting, tantrums, tears, clinginess. We can't even go to a toddler group without major hysterics and tantrums.

It's making things quite tough. I always knew it wouldn't be easy but the advised strategies don't seem to be working. I spend as much time with them as possible when DD3 is sleeping, trying to stay calm, praising any tiny interactions with their sister. I also try to put her down on her chair/playgym whilst they are all together to spend time with the older girls on my knee and try to read stories all together with DD3 on my knee and them either side.

What I would like is some kind of glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. When DD3 sits up would that make things easier? ie they can play with her more, hand her toys which she can keep hold off etc?

People keep asking them how it is to have a new lovely baby sister and they keep replying that they'd like to "throw her in the bin"! A big flashpoint seems to be me feeding her, I am breastfeeding and to them this seems as if she is always being cuddled instead of them.

I can see that she's not very interesting to them at the moment, but I wonder how the bonding ever happens between siblings - what makes her stop being an annoyance and becomeof interest to her older sisters?

Am tired anyway from broken nights and feeling like I've ruined their lives, whilst trying to stay positive and calm. Any wise words of wisdom? I know I can't be the first or last to deal with this!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Loopymumsy · 26/03/2009 09:10

This reply has been deleted

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hattyyellow · 26/03/2009 19:17

Thanks Loopy, reading does work well with them but dd3 is quite fussy when she feeds and tends to kick her feet which drives the older girls mad! They can't understand that she isn't doing it deliberately..

Ah well, hopefully that light will appear soon!

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