my 4 year old acting like a 14 year old

[ilikeshoes]

please please any one with advice help, my 4 year old has decided that he no longer likes pre school, i have never had any previous problems with school infact he usually runs in without looking back, first there were tears and hanging on to my leg, and now its got to the point where i nearly had to drag him out the car which i feel extremely awful for doing, the teachers say he is fine when he is there, i have noticed a real change in him lately, but there is nothing that i can think of that could of caused the change, he is acting like a moody teenager he seems full of anger says he hates me, and gets very tearful at the slightest thing i feel really terrible as to be honest he has been so well behaved and we have had a real close relationship up until now.

could he be getting bullied?

My 4 year old has displayed similar behaviour. He's fine about going to nursery but he gets extremely tearful over the smallest thing and throws the biggest moods I've ever seen! He is also much more active now, eats more and displays more aggressive behaviour.

I read somewhere that at 4 boys get a release of testosterone into their system which is equal to the amount they'll get when they are at puberty. This can explain the increase in energy/appetite and can also explain the moodiness and tears - real teenage behaviour. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with though!

The book "Bringing up Boys" I think it's called, goes into some detail about this testosterone release.

dragonbutter There are not many children in his class at pre school and i trust the teachers i'm 99% sure that it is not bullying.

lucyr1, its extremely fustrating isnt it, he had been eating more but that has subsided again, and he has always been really active, its certainly something to think about i really was not aware of this.Did the book suggest the best way to deal with it? Thankyou

thnkyou for your help any other advice would be appreciated

bumping for you

maybe you could post again with a more obvious thread title?

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please any one with some good advice

Hmm my 5 yo dd1 does this. Teachers all said she is fine when she is there.

I don't know if it is connected but she has recently been diagnosed with anemia, so has obviously been feeling tired and grotty all the time. Maybe a trip to the GP just get checked out?

Thankyou, he has been poorly recently hes had just about everything chickenpox, conjunctivitus, chest infection. hes still full of energy though, i just really wondered what the best way to tackle the bad behaviour was,and the getting him to school thing, when they are 2 you know its just a phase that they will grow out of its different at 4 isnt it.

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Does he eat well? Dd1 has always had problems eating and that is why she is anemic, she is starving herself.

She too was getting poorly all the time. With chicken pox and constant coughs, colds, flu, chest infections. Apparently her not eating enough was affecting her immune system. She was also hyper when she was not ill, not all symptoms of anemia might be present. If he doesn't eat well I'd ask for him to be checked.

wrt to managing the behavior I tell dd1 if she goes to school without making a fuss she can choose some chocolate on the way home and if she does it every day for a week she ccan have a small treat like a Dr Who mag or second hand dvd or allowed to stay up late at the weekend to watch a film.

She has a chart with stickers and gets to put a sticker on each time she goes in without making a fuss.

He has phases where he eats really well and then not so well but hes not under weight.
He does have a reward chart, but his behaviour is more like teenage mood swings, like he will cry over the smallest of things.

he sounds like he is over-tired - that is what my ds is like when he just isn't coping. Does he just go for a half day every day? If so, maybe try giving him a rest for an hour or so each day. Ds can only do this at weekends as he is at nursery full time but I do find that an hour in bed with a pile of books to read helps him get through the day.

Have you tried asking him why he doesnt like nursery - he may well be able to explain to you when he is calm and away from the environment.

Well the last three days he has gone without tears and his mood seems a little better, untill yesterday when i picked him up the teacher said he had bitten someone i was mortified he has never done anything like this before, we spoke about it when he came home and says he his sorry, then he went to sleep for 3 hours, really dont know whats going on with him at the moment hes like a different child. thanks for your thoughts.

3 days without tears is amazing .. don't think my ds has ever done that. Every now and then I realise he has gone a day .. which I find pretty impressive but when he does cry it is 90% always down to being tired!

I have a daughter who will fly into a rage at the slightest thing. Tantrums usually last around an hour. She is nearly 4. This happens every day - it is so tiring. Is your DS ok other than pre school?

ilike my post this week to be 4!!

Thanks i'm going to TRY and get him to have a nap, might be a bit tough. i'll let you know if it changes anything.

wishi. no hes not himself at all, really tearful, and very angry, lke a teanager.