"mummy i feel lonely at nursery"

[vannah]

says my 3 year old who started in with the january intake...
what sort of things can I say to comfort him?

He loves his nursery teacher and the toys, but is very aware of the other children who have already formed friendships...
thankyou

Have you talked to the nursery teacher about this? They are normally good at spotting if children are being left out and will gently encourage the children to play together.
IME the children do not really have distinct friendships at that age, just other children they are used to being around and feel comfortable with. It is still early days yet.

My dd started in January as well and says this occasionally, despite knowing one of the other new starters (since birth) and a few of the other children. She says she is lonely because I am not there!!!!

If he seems settled and happy then I'm sure that some friends will follow soon.

I'd also say does he feel genuinely lonely? In my experience, DD (also 3) who's been at nursery for a long time will say random things about nursery ranging from the completely untrue to highlighting tiny things as being of major importance, e.g.

• "Martha is going on holiday tomorrow and she's going in a rocket!" (Truth: Martha has no holiday plans, and if she did they probably wouldn't involve a rocket)

• "Alex pushed me and I fell over and I cried" (Truth: DD fell over while playing with Alex and cried for about three seconds)

• "I didn't have a bed to sleep in at lunchtime" (Truth: she refused to have a sleep at lunchtime)

• "I played by myself and no-one played with me" (Truth: she had a favourite animal that she wouldn't let anyone else play with)

• "I missed you and I cried and cried but you didn't come back" (Truth: she cried for about three seconds after being dropped off)

I think you notice these things more because you can't be certain of the accuracy given that they've been away from you. Whilst not doubting the veracity of his story, I do find it's worth checking with the key worker or nursery teacher just to make sure

My dd1 is exactly like cestlavie's. She either just point blank makes things up for effect or she exaggerates.

Children just say things some times. I'd have a word with the nursery teachers before worrying.

Which reminds me I must phone the school and report the awfull dinner who will only let dd1 choose cheese sandwhiches and makes her eat cake

I'd go for talking to the staff as well. DS tells me that he has been bitten by a Llama at nursery.. And lonely can be that x wanted to play with y in the garden, and not your DS. Even though they played happily later

Am really laughing at some of the things that children come out with. The thing that gets me is they think we are so silly that we beleive it. What makes it even worse is when you have a gullable child like my dd who beleive ANYTHING anyone tells her and she has a best friends who likes to 'fabricate the truth'

I woukld have a chat with the nursery teachers as well. If your DS is making things up it they will put your mind at rest and if it is something more and she really is lonely they will find strategies to get him involved with other children. DS missed just the first week of reception and found it hard to cope with the fact the other had all already met and made friends. His teacher and TA where fab at getting him in the swing of things!

cestlavie - so funny! but true...
yes, have already spoken to the staff, they all agree that he plays mostly on his own but that its early days yet.
Am also now wondering if he really knows what 'lonely' means (!)

My DS soon to be 4 has always been something of a loner at nursery and I let it go for a couple of months to see if he could find his own way however he too talked of being lonely. I ended up talking to the teachers who have been great and have spent time with DS1 trying to teach him how to engage with other children (he's a bit shy and over cautious). I also found and on the advice of the nursery that having children back to our house for a play date was a great way for my DS to build relationships on a one to one with the other kids and wasn't so intimidating for him. that said you have to be fairly brazen about inviting people back as there was no natural connection. The play dates made a massive difference and he is much more integrated now, although I suspect he will never be part of the social elite.