How do i get my 2 year old to not hurt his brother

[diddle]

Hi,

I have a 2 3/4 yr old DS and a 1 1/2 yr old DS, the older one often for no reason hurts his brother, hitting him with toys, pushing him over, lying on him.

I have tried talking to him, tried shouting at him, tried removing him, time out, sit by wall, show more attention to younger child when older one is naughty. Nothing phases him at all!

I dont want a naughty step because we sit on our bottom step and put our shoes on and i don't want it to be associated with being naughty. plus its by our front window so isn't much of a punishment.

I don't know what to do with him, he gets plenty of attention and normally misbehaves once i've left the room or he thinks i can't see him. I do wonder if he is doing it for more attention, but he needs to learn that he can't have that 24/7.

Any tips?

I had this age gap with my first two and same problem,just had to be with them all the time unless Sesame Street was on!Managed to find a playgroup which took DS1 at 2 3/4 which gave me 2 mornings with just DS2,this was great as he was very ready for it and enjoyed going.It does get better ,they can go to Beavers,Cubs ,Rugby, Swimming etc together.

Give a naughty space? I seen this on Supernanny

She got a little rug and said to child " you will sit her if you are naughty". Then you keep taking them back to said rug, which is very time consuming and quite stressful but it apparently works?

Another thing which work, at times is BRIBERY.

i.e. No pancakes if you hit him once more or erm... when he grows up he will be bigger than you.

or

You could try the "you are a big boy and he is little so you need to look after him" approach?

HTH

PS: I also have 2 boys, they also fight. Nothing I have tried works but they are getting slightly better.

Hello.

I have two dd's - same age as your boys. What I have found really helpful is the advice in Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting".

Basically, what he says is that we need to consider the grown-up we want our child to turn into, i.e. someone who cares about other people etc.

So when your ds1 hurts his brother you need to explain to him that it is wrong because his brother will start to cry etc. And when he does something good to him, explain how happy he has made his little brother.

So the punishment / reward should not be something bad / good happening to your ds1, but rather the effect his actions have on ds2.

Hope it makes sense - it has really helped with my dd1!

Good luck.