Right. Am gathering courage to ditch the dummy. Need advice!

[Maria2007]

Hi everyone

My DS is almost 8 months old & has never been a good sleeper. Initially he was sleeping in our bed. Then he was in his own cot / room from 7-11. Now he's in his own room all night, for the last month or so. And gradually night feeds are being cut down (not completely stopped yet, still give one bottle at 4 am or so, but we're fine with that).

Our huge huge problem is the dummy. When DS was in our bed this was easy. We simply 'replugged' the dummy & we all went back to sleep. However, now that he's in his own room DP has to go back & forth at least 3 times between 11-6.30 to replug the dummy. If you add to that the feed at 4.00 am, things are looking really desperate.

I was dead against ditching the dummy, feeling it would be deprivation for DS. I have tried putting lots of dummies in the cot. Doesn't work- he throws them out. I've also tried (half-heartedly, to be honest) using a dummy-holder. He pulls it off, hasn't worked so far. Maybe we should persevere with that a while longer?

The thing is, I'm reaching the point where I'm extremely tired all the time, so much so that I can't even 'switch off' & sleep during the day when I have the chance. I also find I burst into tears without any reason, & my concentration is zero. I think the logical thing to do would be to ditch the dummy. I'm dreading dreading dreading that though (but perhaps DP might do it). Please, I'd love some advice or experiences of others.

(And please don't tell me to go back to co-sleeping. It was a huge step for us to stop the co-sleeping, it was important for us as a family, & DS has adapted really well to his room)...

Thanks in advance for any ideas.

how about his cot being in your room?

it is safer and it's alot easier to replug the dummy if you only have to take one step out of bed.

i wouldn't take a dummy away at this age due to the SIDS risk. apparently babies who are used to a dummy and stop using it are at increased risk of SIDS

there's a type of dummy clip you can get that attaches really strongly (tommee tippee it think), not just with a little clip but with a sliding grip thing... i sewed the dummy onto one of those and dd never managed to get it off, she still lost it occasionally but at least when we went to her we didn't have to crawl on the floor hunting it, just popped it back in

Hi PinkTulips,

Thanks for your message. We did have his cot in our room, and as I said, the transition to his own room & his own cot has been a very positive step for all of us. I really wouldn't like to take a step backward with that.

I didn't really know about the SIDS risk. At 8 months? Does anyone know more about this?

Thanks for the tip about the Tommy Timmee clip. Will look for it.

Anyone else have ideas?

We had this too. Really tiresome. Buy more dummies, then put loads in the cot. Put a rim of material round the edge - not big, just a sheet folded or something so it provides a lip to stop them rolling out. Your lo will root around and grab one as and when he needs it. Let him practise in the daytime, so he gets the hang of it.

I KNOW you don't want me to say this, but how is him being in his own room a positive step if you have to go backwards and forwards 3 times a night to deal with the dummy?

I think it's important to remember that all these phases are just very tiny scraps of time. They feel eternal - but if he was in your room again, you could deal with the dummy easily, you'd get more sleep, so would he,and in a month or two (the blink of an eye in the scheme of things) he'll be sleeping through and you can move him into his own room again.

Sorry, have read your OP properly.. ! Am a bit amused at him throwing them out of the cot - that implies he's very awake and consciously chucking them, which seems a bit weird. You know, on reflection you might be better just going for it and ditching them. You'll have a ropey few nights, but it'll be better in the long term. I wish I'd had the strength to do that...

Hi Maria, hope things are okay today.

Don't have experience of dummies (except that I had one until I was seven ) but we have had success with shh-patt with weaning our DS off so many night feeds - similar principle, was wanting the sucky motion to get back to sleep. Very hard at first, lots of crying, but we never left him and always managed to sooth him back to sleep. Now he is waking less for feeds (although we're not cured as you know from our other thread!) But as a technique, it can work.

You might already have tried it/ thought about, of course.

Hi there,

Well done for getting your baby into his own room - it is extremely positive and something you should feel very proud of.

My son was very dummy dependent and, like you, I was getting up endlessly throughout the night to put it back in his mouth. I was on my knees with exhaustion and one morning, I finally had enough (and figured that it wasn't helping my son either as his nights were full of broken sleep too) so binned the lot!

I had read that it could take days to resolve but to be honest, it was a lot easier than I had anticipated. My baby (then 4 months old) cried when he went to sleep but I kneeled by his cot and shhh'd/stroked his tummy. There were a few tears and he went to sleep. I think he woke once more and, with an awake cycle of about 2 hours I had to soothe him back to sleep again (cool water helped too). I also replaced the dummy with a muslin for him to hold/comfort himself with. He now sleep with it every night and stuff it in his mouth.

The second night was even easier and we have never looked back.

Choose a night, perhaps a Friday/Saturday so that your husband can support you and encourage you not to take a step back or give in (you can then maybe rest the next day whilst he looks after your son!?).

Please don't worry about SIDS - take all the other precautions and he will be fine.

Habits take three nights to form (so comforting your baby by taking back into your bed three nights in a row will probably lead him to wake on the fourth night to get into your bed!!). By the same token, after three nights he will have formed a new habit of not having a dummy...

GOOD LUCK

Sambo thanks so much for your encouraging post (and thanks to everyone else for posting their thoughts as well). Things are really really bad atm; DS had a fever for a few days so everything backtracked- he ended up yet again in our bed, because of being ill. I suppose tonight is the 4th night (!) & the habit of waking up all the time- and I mean all the time- has formed... so it's now 10.10 pm & since 7.00 pm that we put him to bed he's woken (for his dummy) at least 4 times. I've actually now put the dummy on a dummy-holder, (following advice by many people who believe this may help) but so far it hasn't helped, and most importantly I'm kind of scared that it may present a suffocation risk, even though it's very short.