Is it normal for a 10 year old to be unkind to a 2 year old?

[Lawks]

We spent time today with a family we didn't know. They had their daughter and her friend, both 10 yrs old. Another family had a 5 yr old boy. Then we had dd, age 2.

The 10 yr old obviously didn't think any of the adults could hear her. She started teasing my dd for not wearing knickers. (Slight accident and I'd not got around to putting a new pair on her straight away). Then she was really horrid to dd about her name, saying it was a stupid name. I walked over to distract dd into coming away. 10 yr old had her back to me as I approached. Was to see her deliberately flick a face full of sand at my dd.

Dd was covered in sand and this horror had obviously been amusing herself flicking sand in my 2 yr old's face.

When dd grinned up at me and said "we're playing with sand Mummy!" the girl spun around with pure guilt all over her face.

Dd didn't realise the girl was being mean and thought it was a game. When I suggested to dd that she might want to come for a walk with me she went racing off to ask "her new friends" if they wanted to come. I heard her ask if they wanted to come on an adventure with her and they laughed at her, but in a really mean way.

Now, I don't know any 10 year olds. I'm sure most are lovely and wouldn't be mean to anyone, let alone a 2-year-old. Surely though it's really odd behaviour for any 10 year old to behave so unkindly to such a young child? Isn't it?

Another opinion here that it's not normal. my DD is nearly 10yrs and has never been like that with children who are that much younger. Agree they would normally fuss over them and 'mother' them. that's really cruel to throw sand, IMO a 10yr old knows that would be wrong and could hurt a childs eyes.

If I was the girls mum I'd want to know

It isn't normal behaviour of the 10/11 year olds I know... but unfortunately there have been children of that age who have killed a two-year-old (James Bulger, 1993)

When toddlers are with older children who are not well known to them, be vigilant. Many children can be trusted... alas some can't.

Sorry , that is shocking behaviour ( actually rather worrying ) for a 10 YO.

My DD who is only three is regularly called for at our house by the other little girls in the street , age range from 6 - 11 " Is Babbi junior coming out ? " and these girls 5 of them in total take her out to play in our street and make sure that they include her in all of their games . They started to do this last summer off their own backs.

They love making a fuss of her and teaching her all their games like skipping, hide and seek etc they take pride in looking after her and are very kind and patient with her. (eg made her feel a star when she proudly told them that she doesn`t wear nappies anymore ) , she adores her "big girl friends " .
TBH that is the attituude that 10 YOs should have towards younger children.

Cuddles to your DD

Well I think it is a bit much to say that a 10 year old girl who doesn't want to play with a little one is abnormal - lots of adults have no time for other people's children, so why should all children?

The mean behaviour though is certainly not usuAL IMO. Maybe she was trying to impress her friend with how grown up and 'cool' she was ?

I am sorry but this has a horrible echo of the Jamie Bulger case and I think her parents need to be told asap.

Well I knew a ten year old who was a bit like this to friend's DD, but she's grown into a fantastic woman, so I don't think you should rush to the Bulger comparison. What interests me is that there were two girls, friends - were they both involved? That seems weird to me. One annoyed ten year old being mean because she's left to entertain a child - or feels she has to, I can sort of comprehend, though it does sound unusually foul. Two though, that's a bit bizarre..