HELP!!!

[louise1984]

My ds is 3.5yrs and he only eats certain foods. Im fed up of making him same old stuff. Because i know he wont eat what i make. I just want us to have a nice family meal. Ive tried feeding him, telling him its yummy, tried making him stay where he is till hes eaten it. You name it ive tried. Im at my wits end. His older brother tries everything. I even tell him to tell him its nice. I think hes small for his age in weight and height. Please help!!!

The way I tackled the same thing with my DS was to stop trying to pander to him.

I cook 1 meal and try to cook things that have several different elements IYSWIM.

If we are having, say, fajitas, I cook garlic bread as well and maybe some potato wedges plus I put salad on the table. He then just has the bits he likes. If we have pasta, I also put salad out and something like dips and coleslaw (strange combos I know but 3 year olds don't mind that!)

The key is not to make a fuss about it and not to give him something else half an hour later. If you stress and make a fuss, he will soon learn that not eating gets lots of attention.

It's very frustrating but the bottom line is, he'll soon get hungry and eat something. 3 year olds need suprisingly little food to keep them going.

My sister was told the same thing-give them what they're given (if you see what I mean) and don't let them have anything else. It's that or nothing. Apparently (according to her doctor), they will inevitably give in and eat what's there because they're hungry but it might take a couple of days or so.

There is a book about trying new things - I'll try and find out what it is called as my daughter loved it when she was 4. I do agree though, the best way to deal with it is zero tolerance - they soon give in.

OP that could be my ds you are posting about!!! same age, same problem. ds has always been fussy, i used to scream and shout, then i gave in, now i just tell him whats for dinner, put it on his plate and if he doesnt eat it, i tell him to put his plate by the sink. also, i try to put quite small portions on his plate as i think he gets intimidated by larger portions. also, it means it is an achievable request when i ask him to clear his plate. he then gets a reward for clearing it, ie; ten minutes on comp/ playdough/ ten minutes of cartoons. or something he chooses himself. its working slowly, but patience is the key. i dont lose my temper anymore. if he doesnt eat, he gets nothing else. its dinner or nothing. he knows this now although it was hard when we first started. keep at it though, i understand how you are feeling.

also, if possible, try and involve him in the cooking process, get him excited about dinner. it can be fun if you have the patience for it.

Right, here are my top tips (v.v. fussy - almost food phobic- DS1 from about 18 months to ...well, now, if given half the chance)

1. Put very small amounts on the plate (eg I started with about 5 pieces of pasta when I was introducing it). Then add more. Once he's regularly eating that food, keep increasing the amount

2. Try presenting a new food in a novel way (eg cut pizza up into small squares, like 1cm)

3. Make sure you have a pudding he loves, them tell him he can only have pudding if he tries the new food. If he tries it , and doesn't like it, don't make him eat any more. The aim to begin with is to get him to try new things

4. Once he has eaten something once, he must eat it again, or he doesn't get his pudding

5. Texture is very important to lots of kids. DS wouldn't eat any vegetables, until i tried him on raw carrots, then started giving him cooked carrots, then other veg.

Sorry, me again!

6. Lots of kids this age don't like things that are mixed together, or have sauce on. Start with something plain, put the sauce/gravy on the side for them to try dipping.

7. I got DS to eat several new things by allowing him to have Ketchup with it. As he got older, I weaned him off the ketchup

Sorry this is long. breaghsmums tips are good

OOh, another thing that helped me: If there is something he liked eg pasta, I tried to optimise the healthiness of it by giving wholemeal pasta. Same with bread

bradsmissus I do this as well. My DSs favourite meal is "bits and pieces", but after all the shenanigans listed above, one of my best mummy moments was when he first ate a roast dinner, a stew and a shepherds pie!

4 posts! As you can guess, this topic has been a significant part of my life

God luck OP

I would be careful of the 'make them eat it' line, i have vivid memories from 4 years old of still being at the table with a bowl of foul stew 1/2 an hour after everyone else was watching tv cos my Mum tried this line. Didn't work then & made me wary of trying new things because i clocked that she was lying about everything being yummy. DH has been weaning me onto certain foods gradually since we met 12 years ago & has had much more success! (Still won't eat my Mum's stew though).

Screaming has a v. good point about things being mixed up or covered in sauce. My DD has always been great eater but pasta dishes have always been a no-no. She's 4.6 and has eaten them at nursery for a while but only juts started at home.

She was also funny about gravy for quite a while. I just served everything the same as we're having but separate on a plate with the sauce in a little ramekin on the side.

iama you make a good point. It is a long-term project to wean fussy eaters onto new foods!

Forgot to say DS 1 is now 8, and still very limited in what he'll eat at other people's houses, despite progress at home.

I must add a caveat - DD is only 7 months so if i find myself in a few years doing exactly the same thing then I never said nuffink! (Pretty sure my Mum is looking forward to it).

lol iama

My mum had a wry smile on her face when I tell her about DS1 s moodiness and how it drives me loopy

Screaming's tips are exactly what I did with my DS who is now 7 and eats most foods.

applepudding

Whre did you get your advice?
Some off mine was trial and error, but House of Tiny Tearaways v. useful too

Trial and error mainly I think - it just seemed funny looking down your list as every one of those things worked for us. We still say the thing about trying something new to see if he likes it, and because he knows we aren't going to force him to eat the lot he will always try a little bit. And he does like to have his pudding!! (and no he's not overweight at all - skinny if anything)!

I wish I had known you when DS was little apple. All my friends kids seemed to eat vast amounts of anything and everything!